][.Sane in times of Insanity.][

][.Sane in times of Insanity.][



if i am not wrong, this is the moment that i jumped up and heard the "pop" sound.
this was the moment that drove me to the brim of insanity.
but it's ok.
it's time to face it and move on.
从哪里跌倒，就从哪里站起来。
this is definitely going to be a chapter in my life and in my basketball journey.
because, it's only when you had lost something so dear that you will understand how important and cherish it more.

i am finally gaining back my sanity.
bit by bit.
but definitely.
enough of tears.
enough of sadness.
enough of these.
anymore weaker, i will hate myself.

thanks for keeping me sane in times of insanity.
many had anchored my life during the past week.

Special thanks goes out to..
1) my ever supporting family - daddy and mummy <3

2) moi - for pessimistic talk non-stop and being there with me throughout this whole thing for all the doc and helping me distract. for all these, thanks bro! haha i won't say much coz you won't see and you will heck me anyway! but for everything, thanks bro! =]

3) 5-yr-old - thanks kid! really thanks thanks loads! you really keep me sane in times of insanity! you were there with me to receive the news.i wouldn't know how i will react if you weren't there with me. you know how devastated i was at the moment. you saw the uncontrollable me and sit me down to listen to all the options. (this reminds me of after "A" levels results where you sat me down and helped me with planning) thanks for playing the anchor of my life! =]

you truly understand and showed me the light. you know how pain it is to sit out during the last seasons but you showed me the strength that you used to pull through all these. you found ways for me when i wanted to play so much - cause you know how much pain i am going within that i am going insane. however, you were rational enough to pull me back from the brim of insanity. you taught me to calm down and face it and think. you were the only one that could bring sense to me in times of insanity.
for all these, thanks llz! thanks so so much! thanks for taking my indecisiveness! thanks for everything! <3

4) roomie - thanks roomie! you know how i almost went bonkers these few days. you saw how weak emotionally that i can just cry out all of a sudden. you saw it all and all. thanks loads roomie! i am sorry that i made you worried and if it's me, i know i won't be able to handle. i am sorry that i can't fight the last two seasons with you but i am so proud of you and i will always be here supporting you. the only moment that made me wanna step up and jumped onto the court was when i saw you almost cramping. hang in there alright? help me win these two seasons. we had had enough championship together but can i be selfish and request that you win these two for me too? thanks <3

5) bear - i am so sorry for losing it these few days. i really cannot take it but i will take it from now on. thanks for understanding and giving me time thou i always say you don't und. (that's just because i needed time on my own) no1 can help me out of these apart from myself. =]

6) thanks to my nan da team mates! thanks for taking such good care of me throughout these period. thanks to jieying ahma! thanks for accompanying me to hydro and keeping a look out for me every moment. =]

thanks loads to every1! i had found my sanity bit by bit. i know that there will still be moments where i cannot take it but i know i will take it. that's one thing for sure! coz i mark my words and today's maximum = tears in the eyes but nothing flows more than that. cause 脆弱够了。接下来就要加油了！=]]

take gd care every1!

5-yr-old shared this song with me and it really reflects how i feel this whole week.

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin' to walk through
The pain
When I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I thought I could leave but couldn't get out the door
I was so sick and tired
Of a livin' a lie
I was wishin' that I
Would die

It's Amazing
With the blink of an eye you finally see the light
It's Amazing
When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright
It's Amazing
And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight

That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't liten to all that righteous talk
I was out on the street,
Just a tryin' to survive



take good care every1!
nitez! =]
i will be back.

][.10.fe.15.][
][.jiayou fe.][

][.Guardian angels?.][

][.Guardian angels?.][

世界是美好的。
就算现在的心情不是最美好的。
但，世界仍是美好的。

我的乐观只是短暂的。
医生的一句"Suspected acl and mcl tear" 就足以让整个心跌进无底深渊。
做了MRI。
明天将知道成绩。

每当气愤，难过，伤心时，
老天总会提醒我，
身旁仍有很多人关心自己，陪伴自己。

这几天也感受到陌生人的温情。
让位给我的女生。
在摇晃的地铁中扶我一把，问候我的女士。
在巴士上看见我流泪而给我一包纸巾的女生。
每当想不通时，难过时，老天总会让这些陌生人提醒自己-- 生命仍是美好的。

感谢一群陪伴我左右的朋友。
你们的帮助和存在让我安心。
感谢家人从不责怪，耐心的相伴。
感谢尽在不言中。

每天的心情都像坐过山车。
我最不喜欢。
但一定不会有事。。

][.10.fe.15.][
][.学会坚强是我现在唯一能做的.][

][.2nd Marathon!.][

][.2nd Marathon!.][

hello bloggy!
i must blog this down. =]
2nd marathon!
every race is memorable in its own way.
but this is really memorable and smiles! =D

5/12/2010.
fe did her 2nd marathon!
n this would nt be possible without joy! *double happiness*
haha thanks loads kid! i will never forget this race!

always felt that life was a marathon!
there would be points of time when u feel like shit and feel like giving up and wonder what the hell are you doing here? but these time would pass and things will be ok =]
i used to have a dream to do a marathon!
n i did it.
n i decided to go every even yr 2008->2010->2012->2014..till i completed 10! =]
was worried when 2010 came n was thinking if i would really do the marathon.
it's really scary to do it all alone! =X
n it was when we decided to complete the marathon together in 2010!
haha whenever i say "yes" to marathon, i feel that i m mad.
n this time round, i pulled 5-yr-old kid into this whirl of madness too =X

n we started running on our own to train for the big race! =]
5/12/2010.
woke up at 2am and left hse to meet llz at 3am at bedok stadium.
it was raining when i left house! was chilling cold *brrr* ran in the rain and pray really hard that the rain will stop asap.
met llz and we boarded the 315am bus to head to our starting point.
nice songs on mp3 on the way.
somehow brought back the countless bus rides during the u18 trip.

n tada! reached orchad with all the purple-themed deco.
cool! orchad in the morning =]
went ard to look for toilet but din manage to find one.
put on the number tag and stretch a bit and we are set to go! =]
mp3 plugged in n we took our 1st steps to the countless steps!
was supposed to stop every 30mins but both of us felt strong n we kept going!
the view on the way was good! jus breathe in with good music and see the different places of singapore.
heard some cheers and encouragments! =]
always thankful for all the supporters! without them, the race would not be possible.
stopped for some water and a toilet break and made our way to ecp on time -- 7am.

haha we stopped n had breakfast + banana at ecp ard the 12km marker.
was really hungry! haha
n we continued our run!
the next 8km was a start on the mental strength when you see ppl running pass you on the other side. =X
kid was doing still well! thou there was pain in her knee.
while ankle was starting to give me tightness and the back of the knee.
but it was still bearable. =]

reached 21km and we jus aimed to get out of ecp cz it was really torturing.
haha the ecp stretch nv fail to kill.
both of our legs started to give prob but with the motivation of getting out of ecp, we hanged in there strong with the help of counterpain! =P

n finally out of ecp!
when we thought things will be better and as i assured kid tt things will be better,
it din turned out to be the case!
so sorry kid! haha din expect that we would be facing the construction site!
the heat was really madness and there wasn't any water points along the whole stretch!
kid's hand started to swell and it was really worrying.
learnt that it was signs of dehydration n just hoped that a water point would come soon. =X
felt guilty that i dragged her to this madness.
n jus hope that kid would be ok!

and pass 32km.
the sun was getting stronger and both of us were getting tired by the min.
the fatigue of the legs and the tiredness of body and the mentally torturing mind.
haha i can only say, the strength and support of a trusty friend pulled me to the end of the race.
for the last 10km, we pulled each other and we know that, no matter how tired we get, we will definitely make it to the end point TOGETHER! =]
that's why we came to this race together!
don't walk behind me, i can't see.
don't walk infront of me, i can't catch up.
walk beside me and we will complete this race together!
朋友一生一起走。
that's our promise for this race and we will keep to it!

the last few km was really torturing as ankle started to tighten.
n there was a upslope!
gosh. they must be kidding us.
thankful there was kid! =]
she pulled me up the slope and for the rest of the journey.
really thankful for i found a true friend who cared for me despite her own pain n fatigue!
i would never forget the moments when you pulled me into the shades to be away from the sun while you stayed in it!
for this, thank you llz! really thankful that we decided to do this race together!
without you, this race would not be possible!
hand in hand, we came to the end of the journey and with a smile..last 100m here we go! =]
we made it!!

这个马拉松真的很有意义。
因为，我们一起完成了！
谢谢你！
谢谢你陪我完成了这段路程！
这段艰难的路程，我们看见了彼此最脆弱的时刻。
我们给于彼此鼓励和支持！
我们坚持着那信念。
朋友一生一起走！（跑）
我们一起做到了！=]

n it's a really nice thing to finish a race together! =]
this will be something that we can put into our scrapbook and show our kids in the future! =]

haha jus wanna say, thank you llz!
thanks for being the constant support through my ups n downs of life!
thanks for trusting me and going thru this race with me!
thanks for hanging in there just so we could finish the race tgt despite all the pain that you are suffering!
thanks for being here so that i have a hand to hold on when the faith starts to go low!
n the amazing thing is, we felt tired at different points of time and push each other on to the end. =]
for everything, 谢谢你!

haha so 2nd marathon done!
8 more to go!
wanna bring mummy to run 10km! =]]
will train her up for it! hee

n 2012 would be my 3rd marathon!
moi says she wanna try it..so we shall see!
haha as long as u wanna try, we will cross the line tgt! =]

haha ok! end here le bloggy!
take gd care every! =]]
bye~

p/s: something wrong with uploading of pics. will do it nxt time!

][.10.fe.15.][
][.cause the race was all about believeing in ourselves!.][

][.what a night!. =].][

][.what a night!.=].][

开心。
好开心。
真开心。
很开心。

好久，好久没这么开心了。
哨子吹了的那一刻，很想哭。
快乐的想哭。
我不能形容我的心跳在比赛之前跳动得多快。
快到 -- "it's in e mouth"。
我不能告诉你，过去的几天日日盼望和分析的比赛。
还有，半年以来的努力。

努力，终于有结果。
就算只是一个起步，还是很快乐。
在场边支持了六年。
在板凳支持了四年。
终于，盼到这一天。
过去的努力，终算没有白费。

不能掉以轻心。
我们都清楚。
接下来的比赛不容易。
但，我们要继续努力。
继续努力。

你曾告诉我，你要让你的球员看到努力的打球的球员。
我对你说，你这些年都让我看到努力不懈的你。
在场边支持的六年，每回看到你因笔数被拉远，输球而难过的表情，我都会对自己说。。
只要有一天和你站在同一个球场，我一定会尽全力。
我们继续努力吧。
把汗水换成微笑。

加油！信心！=]

it's 2:50am now.
jus came back from ling's home. went to play taboo =]
it's a good night.
even a bruised knee is ok.
it's a good night.
we smiled.
n i will continue to work harder.
even harder.

knees,wrist,fe..pls hang in there!
we shall make it a good season!
it's 2010! =]
let's go team! =]]

take gd care every1!
night! =]

p/s: sorry tt it's all about e team. cz..that's all my life is about at the moment.
and on a sidenote, 人生真的很无常。今日不知明日事。现在，只想对阿姨说 “加油”.

][.10.fe.15.][
][.big big smile.][

][.Get Away!.][

][.Get Away!.][

in 7 hours, i am getting away!

e get away was a plan to get away from the routine of just training non-stop.
but now, it serves another purpose.
i will use it to get away from the volcano eruption and let things cool down 1st.
stay strong jing n fungi!
moi n me will be back and we will face all this together.

take gd care every1!
bye!
esp fungi n jing! take gd care *hugs*

when you cry till you have no more strength to cry anymore.
that's when you know, you need a break.
it breaks my heart to see them so sad.
we are in this together.

ok..off for the trip.
will not bring too much emotions over.
it's not fair to affect others. =]
let's go sh,ling,sheryl and moi!
let's have a gd trip!

][.10.fe.15.][
][.take a break.][

][.Splitting Headache.][

][.Splitting Headache.][

head is exploding any min.
super pain.
maybe it's due to e lack of slp. (was reading "steve and me" by terri iriwin - abt crocodile hunter and their love, their adventure =] a gd bk tt captured me within. will blog more abt it!)

worked e whole of today.
stood e whole way.
n i calculated.
every min tt i stood = 10cents!
this make me more determined to teach tuition and earn more.
sorry but i m a lazy pig.

went to friendly after tt.
just wanna thank a few ppl.
esp jasmin and bf, celine and cynthia.
for guiding me.
just reached home from watching the video.

e minimal amt of minutes is enough to view.
everything seems to be starting frm zero again.

this is not it.
this is not fe.
this is not what i can accept of myself.
con-fe-dence is nt dere at all.
what's within is nt showing.
e emotions is overwhelming.
the devil within = give up.
but the angel is fighting so hard to keep trying harder.
n i noe, the angel will win.
i will keep trying harder.
but the inner struggle is nt gd.
n it's tiring.
so i m gg to slp nw and not let it affect me.

有些事，越不想去想，就会想到。
所以，面对并不是不好的决定。

take gd care every1!
night. =]

][.10.fe.15.][

][.斗志，忍耐.][

][。斗志，忍耐。][

斗志是看着对手的眼睛并告诉她，我绝对防得住你。
忍耐是？
痛也不说出口。
或许吧。

哈哈。。
明天要去看医生了。
希望没事。

只能希望没事。


ok! take gd care every1!
jiayou with exams!
take a break when u need it ba! =D
Bye~~

][.10.fe.15.][
][.extreme mocha =].][

][.My 1st Marathorn.5:30:06.][

][.My lst Marathorn.5:30:06.][

haha post of the run =
.back aches
.aches
.and more aches =P

lol..but the pain is worth the satisfactions =]
photos from the marathorn is up!
n the actually timing too =]
happy happy =]
allow me to post to memo it ba!
sorry tt these few days are all abt e big run =]
jus wanna memo it =]





















haha ok! not feeling well le =X
must go hibernate n rest =]]
take gd care every1! byee..

][.10.fe.15.][

][.29/3/08.][

][.29/3/08.][

haha yups u r right tt today is 30/3/08.
but i wanna note down e special day ytr.
cz 2 things happened.
1) i got e 1st n hopefully e onli stitch in life.
2) forever5's bbq.

haha had friendly ytr w u18 n got myself a stitch on the upper right lip.great one.
haha din exactly rmb wad happened.jus noe tt i felt this sharp pain after being elbowed frm e opponent while she got e rebound n came down. but e game was play on. wipped e blood, thinking tt it was jus e usual inner mouth bleeding till coach saw it n asked me to wash it.haha it was v scary. super reluctant to go n stitch it but coach say haf to. thanks loads to coach, daisy,jing hui n gwen! esp gwen who acc mi to e clinic. e lousy pok mi here is super scared of stitching. *yikes* dun wanna recall e scene.

aw after tt cmi..so cancelled tuition n came hm to rest. eat super demure n slow den off to forever5's bbq! haha it was nice..but a little tired to go into e details today ;p so e main pt is..they had fun saying jokes n making mi ctrl my laughters cz i cannot laugh!! er xin de pigs!! n i was laming n they say i jiu you zhi qu (which was quite true thou) but felt thankful too! cz they peel e food hao hao for mi..wahahaha nt shuang ma..small small pieces de..even e seldom serve mi de wen dou peel la..so dun nd to mention abt e rest la hor ;p jkjk aw xiexie ni men le! haha iloveus! hmm after tt stay over at moi's hse n went for guitar, bac hm to prep e presents n trng..trng was quite ok..all on shooting so quite shuang de n it ended early! wahahaha.. aw haha happy bday lqjl! ;p

n nw i m super tired..tink wanna go zzz le ba. take gd care every1! byee..

][.10.fe.15.][
][.i m who i m.][

][.thanks.][

][.thanks.][

thanks for listening.
thanks for accepting.
thanks for everything.

take gd care every1! byee..n if u haf mi lu bing's -> shi ying..do send mi! thanks lots =]

][.10.fe.15.][

][.sorry.][

][.sorry.][

i can only say sorry to u..
i dunno wad else to say..
i m realli sorry to u..
apart from that i m realli speechless..
i hate e silence..
i hate to tok..
i hate to..
n u noe i m a coward who always run away n avoid e prob..
but thats onli when it cums to u n mi..
sumtimes i realli dunno wad to say..
ku xiao bu de..
i noe its my fault..
but to b frank..
i tink its unfair that i can't accept ya fault as a friend..
yah..hai..
i dunno la..
its all jus too confusing n tiring..

ok..on a lighter note..it was realli gd to haf u callin mi..its been quite long since we get to tok like this le..u brighten my day..=D haha den wen..thanks..xie xie ni..u made my day too..hee by the biscuit n everything..gan dong..

hmm hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.shi wo zhi ji xiang le tai duo, hai shi ni ye zai shan shuo.][