][.dun look mi in e eyes.][

][.dun look mi in e eyes.][

e moment when i told u that..
my heart still hurts..
n i culd feel my tears gushing out..
but yet i held em bac..
i dun wanna cry in front of u..
as much as i wanna..

e moment u told mi it's ok..
there are many more chances..
i knew that e tears fell..
n i smiled n turned away..
telling u not to worry..
cz i m ok w it already..

dun look mi in e eyes npo..
i can't bear to let u see e tears..
as much as i wanna..
irony huh?..
yup..but..
up till this moment..
i can still take it..
at least i haf been taking it for e past few weeks..

dun wanna let e tear fall infront of u jus yet..
i m tired..n disappointed..
every trng is jus making mi feel that i m getting worse..
not that i haf been gd..
but jus as i went for my 2nd trng..
i held e ball..
n i stood at e court..
n i was shocked by wad i thought at that instant..

i held e ball..
looked at e basket..
n i asked myself..
can u shoot?..
do u noe how to shoot?
do u still rmb how to shoot?..
n i din haf e courage to try..
i walked to e free-throw line instead..

n yah..
thats mi now..
a useless nobody..
all e trng drills for center is to do all e jiao bu..
all e underbaskets..
e onli place that we shoot wuld be e free-throw line..

this ain't e game i love..
this is restriction..

during e 2nd trng..it was tiring..
but it was beneficial..
after all these months of shouting at my mistakes w/o letting mi noe wads realli wrong..
finally there's sum1 who demo to mi where did i realli goes wrong..
thanks npo..=)

dinner was full of laughters n fun..
it was great..
n nw i do look forward to sat..
thou it's realli tiring..
but they gave mi a reason to..

n i jus read sumthing..n i realli feel that..if i culd blog in chi..i wuld..it wuld be so much easier to let u noe how i feel..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..
ps. HAPPY 17 LING! =D

][.FEarless.][
][.jus be here for mi.][
][.be my reason to hold on.][

][.friends.][

][.friends.][

today is a grey day..nt becoz of bball..nt becoz of studies..but becoz of my brother..it hurts n pains to c him cry..realli..but i m jus so glad..that amidst all these sadness..there's this light..or there are..thanks wen..thanks laolao zhu..thanks for always being dere =]

e load was heavy..

but there u were..

lending mi a listening ear..

n ya caring gestures..

its been 10 yrs down e road..

n u nv failed to be dere..

thanks wen..

its more than words..

joy-rapy..it always work..

u nv fail to make mi feel that everything is gonna be ok..

u always make mi feel motivated to fight on..

thankYOU laolaozhu! haha

no1 can put u down..unless u allow em to =]

hao la..end here for today..n yups..i finally watched a movie again! its 200 pounds beauty..hee..n JOO Jin Mo is so shuai!..byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.friends forever.][

][.darkness.][

][.darkness.][

life..
every1 haf their own troubles..
own worries..
own stress..

it's jus whether they choose to take it..
or say it out..

sumtimes it get overwhelming..
n when that happens..
one shuts themself out from the world..

sum words ain't meant to be said..
but i jus wanna say..
respect others if u wan others to respect u..

wad goes around..
cums ard..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.i pray that everything will be ok.][
][.bless him.][

][.escape.][

][.escape.][

life goes on..no matter wad goes wrong..
thats wad i told myself..
but i guess its jus ain't easy to do so..

i dunno wads wrong w mi..
but i jus wanna ignore everything that is going on..
studies..
basketball..
wadever it is..

i jus wanna escape from all these..
everything seems so perfectly nice n fine on e outside..
but deep down inside..
i noe everything is in a mess..

studies..
e undone tutorial..essays..upcuming test etc..
i noe i haf nt enff time..
i dun haf enff time..i realli dun..
n yet i m still in this stone mode..
can sum1 knock sum sense into mi?..

basketball..
giv mi bac e joy tt i used to haf..
i m realli trying hard..
but my left hand realli suxz big time..
every other thing too..
why can't i jus cool down n look at e defender 1st..
why?..
so much anger w myself nt being able to do so many things..
sighs..

life..
hanging on..
cz Hang On Possibilities Exists..
i still haf a little hope within mi..
dats wad keeping mi move on..

alright..shall stop complaining abt my life..its gd enff..its jus dat i m a disgusting pig who is nt contented enff..shugs..hao la..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.guardian angel.][
][.pls cum to mi tonite.][

][.ouch.][

][.ouch.][

be4 i start bloggin today..i mus apologise to sum n thank sum..sorry matong,mamajan n sh for hafin to put up w e black face n stone mode mi..n thanks auntie joy n ling for lendin mi a listening ear =)..

today is a grey day..

i haf been trying to hold em bac..but i can't..

i raised my head up n look at e stars thinking that e tears wun roll down that way..but it still did..

every moment that i haf nth to do..

i recall all e stuffs n it jus hurts..

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch..it hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts..

it hurts so so so much..do u noe?..

do u hear e shattering n e wincing n e..i dunno..

it jus hurts..

i m realli sorry for gg on w e investiture n forsaking our meeting..

i m realli sorry but its my commitment..

its my responsibility..

i noe u always get disappointed when i onli do e politically right things..

i m sorry my friend..

but pls dun use that to measure e importance of things in my life..

sum things are jus obligations..n i need to fulfil em..

understand?..

haiz..i guess u dun..

even if u do..

all these that i said are jus reasons n excuses to u ba..

sighs..

n why do u wanna doubt mi?..

after a yr of friendship..

tell mi wad can i do to dispel ya fears?..

i realli tried v hard le..

but why is it time n again that we quarrel?..

tell mi why..

tell mi wad goes wrong..

why can't u trust mi..

thats hurts..

after all e things that i let go..

after all e things..

so this is wad i m to u..

sum1 that u fear..

sum1 that u can't trust?..

n it jus hurts..

i m at lost..

e whole day my head is in this whirl..

whenever there's a moment tt i m nt doing anything..

i wuld stone n think..

tell mi wad shuld i do..

i tink i shuld jus stop bothering u..

n let things cool off..

its not trying to escape..

its lost..

everytime i take a step forward..

u doubt..n u walk further away..

i m tired my friend..

but i wuld still trust u..

i haf to cont trusting u..

coz sum1 says tt i haf to trust u be4 u can trust mi again..

so i guess i will jus cont doing that for e meantime..

i will give u time to cool down..

i will stop bothering u..

i will pray hard n hope everything will be ok soon..

i m such a failure..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1..byee..n if i stone at u tml..i mus apologise 1st..dui bu qi..=)

][.FEarless.][

][.peace.][

][.way back into love.][

][.way back into love.][

went to zao bao's jiu zhi today..n there was this nice song which xin yue n wang guan sing..it's way back into love..n i found out from xy that its e song from music n lyrics..

hmm music n lyrics..1 movie that i told myself that i wanna watch n i mus watch..planned to..but in e end all e plans were jus gone into e thin air..nth..sighs..its sad to tink of all e movies that i wanted to catch but din..e last movie that i watched was..pursuit of e happiness..=)

its realli sad to tink of all e things that i haf planned to do n yet din..
its realli sad to tink of all e times u stood up on mi..
its realli sad when time n again i told u that its ok..n that u r realli too tired (i noe u realli r)..
its realli sad when i haf to tell myself thats its ok..
its realli sad when i finally got used to e fact bit by bit..
its realli sad when i start w e preparation that u wun eventually turn up..
its realli sad when i m already disappointed n haf to comfort e guilty u..
its realli sad..
now that u dun even reply..
and as i look at e sweet..
i m starting to wonder..
shuld i jus eat it by myself?..
or shuld i give it to u?..

hao la..shall end here..take gd care every1!..byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.i jus wan to find my way bac.][

][.daze.][

][.daze.][

i always admire those that can compose their own poem to express how they feel..

i always admire those that can use a word to express everything..

i always wanted to..

but i jus dunno how..

hao la..shall try now..

..failure..

as i lay in e dark

tears welled up..

i made those that treasure give up..

i made those that matters walk away..

i could not sleep..

it hurts..

u matter to mi so much..

yet why once an again we haf to quarrel?

why do we haf to quarrel over such trival stuffs?

i noe u r angry..

but so m i..

its jus mi..

u noe that its jus mi..

den as i cool down..

n i tink..

maybe its realli my fault..

my fault for being so stubborn n "law-abidding"..

however..

dere's still this struggle within mi..

its my fault..

but that's my belief..

slowly as tears welled up..

i fell asleep..

dere was no reply from u..

nt even one to quarrel anymore..

den it struck mi dat u may haf gave up..

n i dunno wad to do..

realli..

let it be?..

i noe if i do..

u will jus let it be..

so how..

tell mi how..

sighs..

alright..i tink i failed to "compose" a poem once again..cz its not even regular stanza..n there's no rhyme wadsoever..but nbm..take gd care every1!..byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.tong.][

][.finally.][

][.finally.][

i rmb telling sum1 that i wuld feel better e day when sum1 gives up on mi..
n tt person tells mi tt i wuld feel v sad if e friend realli gives up on mi..
n i tink tt day haf finally cum..
n all i can say is..i m jus so glad..n relieved..
realli..
cz 1 day which e friend dun give up..it will onli make mi feel v bad towards her..
cz i can't deny how my heart feels..
i can't deny all e thoughts..
its realli better this way out..
sorry for all those tt u haf done..
thanks for all those tt u haf done too..
blame mi for being stubborn n heartless all u wan..
but i realli feel tt this is e better way out..
go on our separate ways..
cz i tink tt its meant to be..
its fate..
i haf been avoiding so much is becoz i wan no repeat..
thanks n sorry is all i can say..

hao la..thats for sum1..who i assume tt she will noe who she is if she read this..aw today is a greyish day..studied in e lib for a few hrs until i realli wanna cry..i ate like super slowly..cz i dun wanna go bac to e reality..i dun wanna face e endless notes n endless essays..so i jus ate n stone..n i wonder how..i realli din noe wad to do..so was in this dun tok to mi mood even till trng..den after trng went for dinner..haha was realli gd to laugh n laugh..sian ma was realli funny..haha den after dinner..my mood swing bac to e all time low as i tot abt all those work tt is piled in front of mi..n e day tt will be gone w sph tml..sighs..

i realli wanna more time..i wanna more energy..today i haf been listening to "wo xiang xing" by yang pei an..it jus makes mi feel better n more zheng fen (hmm dunno how to express tt in chi)..haha

aw buddy jus mentioned sumthing..i say i feel old..n she said..we r realli old as sports players..hmm so true isn't it..i m gg to be 18..how long more can i play?..haha n look at where i stand nw..jus a lousy nobody..but nbm..lets jia u! (attempt of trying to be positive) n e big As..its realli scary..i dunno how m i gg to face it..*sighs*..

hao la..shall end here! wadever it is..jus gotta face it!! shall stop escaping from reality!..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.give mi e courage to face all these.][

][.believe.][

][.believe.][

had e 1st game of e season..hmm..haha hmm..i jus wanna say thanks to a v special sum1..thank you auntie joy! lao zhu..ur words realli made mi realise sum things..thanks..

it felt so great to be playing w/o e pressure..i tink wad that matters to mi in e past no longer matters to mi nw..n i m so glad that i haf let it go..=)

hmm abt today's game..i wuld tink it isn't a gd win..dunno how to say it all..but it jus isn't la..hmm n sh + sheryl...pls take gd gd x infinity care of yaself ok..dun injure! = thats of cz goes out to e whole team too la..=)

aw..my blog title is believe becoz currently..e 2 songs on my play list is "sum1 is watching over mi" and "wo xiang xing"..realli gd n inspiring songs..haha jus wanna share e lyrics of e 1st song..cz it touched mi..n i haf been repeating it thur out e whole day..=)

"Someone's Watching Over Me"

Found myself today

Oh I found myself and ran away

Something pulled me back

The voice of reason I forgot I had

All I know is you're not here to say

What you always used to say

But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark

I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light

And it's shining on my destiny

Shining all the time

And I wont be afraid

To follow everywhere it's taking me

All I know is yesterday is gone

And right now I belong

To this moment to my dreams

So I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark

I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say

And it doesn't matter how long it takes

Believe in yourself and you'll fly high

And it only matters how true you are

Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark

I'll still believe

That I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even when it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe

That someone's watching over

Someone's watching over

Someone's watching over me

Someone's watching over me

its my song of e day =) it said all that i wanna..it touched mi..love e song..

hao la..shall end here for today..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.rethgif tnelis.][

][.i wanna.][

][.i wanna.][

haha so random huh today's blog..cz i haf nth to blog..or rather..too lazy to blog everything out..so..haha yah..aw..i jus heard this song..quite nice de.." I wanna grow old with you"..its by westlife..go check it out if u like slow songs like mi =P..

history..
i heard wad u say..
n y do i find it all so familiar?..
its becoz..
thats all that i said last yr..
n i smiled..
jia u !

hmm hao la..nth much..shall end here le =) take gd care every1 byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.silence.][
][.peace.][

][.Choices.][

][.Choices.][

humans..
interesting ain't we?..
when given a choice..we find it hard to choose between options..
when nt given a choice..we jus gotta do it..n we call it obligations..
haha is it every1?
or is it jus me?

wadever it is..life can be tiring..but jus hold on to it n jia u ba my friends! =)

p/s. haha mamajan..1 mth n 8 days to conclude if everything goes well for us =) hang on!

][.FEarless.][
][.tired.][

][.silence.][

][.silence.][

today's blog will be kinda of grey..so be4 i start ranting on all e grey stuffs..i shall tok abt sum happy stuffs..for eg. e free ben n jerries ! haha took pic w ling n e cow..n e queue was kinda of fast..haha yeah man..n guess wad? i saw ah min there..haha a pleasant surprise..=)
isn't it amazing..sum friends are jus meant to be that way..near yet far..distance yet comfortable..aiya..i dunno how to say la..but sumthings are jus meant to be..=)
haha ok..so thats my happy stuffs..now..lets go on to tok abt e grey parts of my life..

-studies..
e damm lots of hw r like pilling up like nobody's business..lets c..currently i haf..
3 undone maths tut n assignments..2 hist essay..gp compre..dom..econs lect test..endless hist readings etc etc..its like nv ending..n my energy span is so short..i realli wonder how will i survive thur all these..but nbm i shall be positive..i shall try to at e v least..

-basketball..
wadever will be will be..e "future" is up to c..best nt to haf expectations..=)..i dun mean tt i dun wanna try hard or wadsoever..but it is realli..i dunno how to say..quote from sum1 who told mi this today..n i tink it is realli true "last time be4 e start of e season..i will noe where i wanna be..i wanna be at e finals..i wanna win e championship..but nw as e season is approaching..i dunno wad i wan or rather where we (e team) will end up at..its nt that we r nt strong..its jus that there r others jus s strong..everything is so uncertain..n how do i play w team mates which i dun like n dun trust?.."..yes..everything is so uncertain..i m tired of trng hard..n trying hard..n expecting too much of e team n too much of myself..of cz i wuld still wanna be dere..but..lets take it 1 step at a time ba..jia u..lets go! i will try to be positive by tml..its jus a draining day..so..pardon mi..

-friend..
sumtimes it's just tiring..
1 moment u r ok..
e nxt moment u r nt..
u r stressed..
so m i..
so is every1..
sumtimes i realli dunno wad to do..
so i decided nt to do anything..
n i can onli pray that..everything will be alright..
its tiring..but i will hold on..cz u r worthy of it..=]

-life..
sighs..big sighs..big big sighs..
may..its going to be a draining month..$ draining month..i realli wonder how m i gg to survive..
1) payment for A lvls..
2)bday gifts..
3)thailand trip..
how on earth m i gg to haf enff $ to survive all these shit..sighs..guess i jus gotta survive on cup noodles le..=

hao la..shall go back to my endless mountain of hw..take gd care every1!..byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.leave mi alone.][

][.wu nai.][

][.wu nai.][

although i m a little tired now..
but i mus blog abt e day! if nt i will nt haf e mood to blog abt it again another day =P
o aw..for a summary..my mood is like a hmm dunno wad graph..but its up down up!..haha

lets start w e up part 1st..
woke up in e morning..wanted to do my lit essay but end up watching slam dunk animation..haha e game of shohoku vs ryonna..v nice..haha so was feeling kind of up n high..

went trng..n thats when my mood goes down down down till i dunno wad valley is that man..shugs i realli hate myself for tinking that way..i hate myself for this..i hate myself for that..n this is e 1st time i found out e use of a big towel..cz usually my towel is v small..but today i used e nike big big gym towel that mei got for mi..haha so shuang..big dao i can cover my whole head..

aw thats nt e main pt..but actually it is..i jus covered my head w e towel n faced e wall n cried..yah thats how sucky i felt..i jus cried like how uozumi did..felt like shit..s-h-i-t shit!..i tink henry saw..but nbm..den ly was asking too..but nbm..i was too spaced out to explain..was jus holding bac my tears on court..cz if cry on court..its jus wrong..so i held it bac..or rather i swallowed em down..its wu nai till max de gan jue..its wanna feng diao de gan jue..its e 1st time that thinking of npo n sakuragi n wanting to fight hard like em no longer works..its jus..i nd to cheng xia qu..i nd to..i cannot..its jus tt little tiny bit of mi dat dun wanna allow myself to cry on court..

n yah..realli sorry ah sh..today i was realli like a crazy gal..e fouls on u r realli bad..sorry sorry..
yah..i felt like shit after trng..n there is this stupid splinster on my finger that goes deeper n deeper each time i bounce or shoot e ball..*ouch*..n i can't get it out =(..yah..so realli is spaced out..hai..i suxz..n realli quite sad tt cp is injured de la..den ly also..injuries go away! =(

aw after e super duper down down valley trng..took e v long 67 n had our anninversary! haha 14/4/05 ...2yrs later..14/4/07..haha at 1st it was kinda of..but it got better..haha we had a cake summore =P n i m admit i m such a gossip n grumble queen..jus dun get mi started..if nt..opps i m sorry..believe it or nt..there's a devil and a angel within u =X i felt so la..cz everytime when sum "-" thoughts emerge..e angel will try to say ae..shh get away..shoo shoo..but e devil will be like..wth but i realli feel this way wad..haha aw nbm..thats nt e main pt..i noe i grumbled a lot..haha but i did hold my peace (eh..sh..lend mi use a while hor =P)..dere r still many other things which i din say n i kept it in..swallowed it bac..cz sum things r jus nt meant to be said =P..

haha aw..hanging out w ahs dudes r jus so much more relaxing..jus 1 side..tt's enough =)
haha hao la..since i kept my peace i shall cont keeping it..
thanks my ahs team..hee love ya..

hao la..i shall end here le..take gd care every1..byee..

p/s. maybe i shuld jus cum face to face w it..
i m sorry..but it matters..

][.FEarless.][
][.a min of silence.][

][.strains.][

][.strains.][

i m feeling e pain here dere everywhere..
n i hate feeling so achy-ish..
aw nbm..cz even if i mind..wad can i do rite? =P..

haha finally gt my hair chopped off..
not much of a different..i felt..
but sum stupid pig says it looked like a helmet..qu si ba ni =P

hmm den wad else..2 bi jiao interesting de things of e day..
1) got back pw results..got a B..hmm ok la..i tink..i dunno..but when all those ard u dou get As..felt kinda of lousy..but nbm..ren yao you zhi zi zhi ming =)..haha aw congrats to all tt gt A! =) jing,fungi,mama jan,matong! haha n hi5 wen! =P

2) i had 2 rounds of dinner..1 round be4 i went to cut my hair..n e other after tt..n omg i m still snacking nw..sinful dao max! dou shi lin lao fern's fault! pig la! e auntie n uncle still lol n say steady ah..2nd round! *faints*..so embarrassed la..

n now i m bac hm..so tired..dunno why also..wanna slp le la..tml's trng is afternoon! i hate hafing trng in e noon..bu san bu shi..wan to do wad also cannot..n tml supposed to haf gathering w ahs team de leh! haha hope it will still go on la =)..

haha hao la..i m realli tired le..take gd care every1! byee..

ps. fri e 13..n i was realli suay in e morning..=X

][.FEarless.][
][.Gua Mu Xiang Kan.][
][.jing quan li zai fei qi lai.][
][.xiang shi jie zhen ming wo chun zai.][

][.thanks for allowing mi to breathe for another day.][

][.thanks for allowing mi to breathe for another day.][

i m jus so glad that i survived today..
woke up..or rather be4 i fell asleep..i was almost 99.9% sure that i can't survive e day..
cz its has been so so so so long or rather i had nv slept for onli 2hrs den start e whole day..
was so tired n so scared that i wuld throw my temper la..
n yah..was so scared that i wuld be carrying this black face ard w mi e whole day..
cz mood in influencial n i dun wan to spread it on la..
but opps..i tink i did..was stoning whenever i had e chance..
realli v tired dao dun feel like doing anything that kind..
den during econs lect..or rather be4 it start..i was kinda of high..but i noe that e nxt moment, i wuld quieten down..its always e case..so was trying to draw this sakuragi pic but i failed la..hai..i realli admire that who can draw n who can play any musical instrument..=)

ok..so e rest of e lesson was realli dragging n dragging myself thur it..cmi le man..den trng..so suay..my left eyelid twitch none-stop n yeah man..jammed my fingers..both stupidly..maybe its time i drink more milk again..ok..i m laming..ignore mi..but i m jus so so tired nw..

hmm n yah..if u miss sum1 or haf e sudden urge to listen to this friend's voice n tok a little..dun hesitate to make a call yeah..cz i jus made 1..n e voice alone soothens n made my day =)

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.status : 101% fatigue.][

][.tong hua.][

][.tong hua.][

today's blog title is kinda of random..but its not without reason..
aw it's been so long since i reached hm so early..like 6plus..
had e subway cookie that i had been craving for since bball camp..
den came hm for dinner..
read e newspaper n nua awhile..
started doing maths onli to find myself lost n lost..gg deeper into e jungle w no exit..
so e coward me chose to say goodbye to it..
was listening to yes933 n praying for a miracle that music diary wuld suddenly be broadcasted again..i realli missed e programme..
but nbm..yes933 do haf v nice songs..
den nw jus as i m bloggin..
i m listening to tong hua by junyang..
n be4 that..jus a moment ago..ma li was saying abt e biggest ferris wheel in s'pore is built hao le..

haha ferris wheels made reminds mi of fungi..dun ask mi why..it jus strucks mi..n i guess it's gg to be damm ex to get on to that ferris wheels n i nv was a ferris wheel craze..but i jus haf e sudden urge to go on it at nite n see e nite view frm there..den jus as i was emo-ing abt e ferris wheel..tong hua began..tell mi how can u not be sunk deeper n deeper..n now it's another sad song on yes933..if nt wrong it's ru qiao ying's de v popular de..4get e song title thou..haha see la see la..so long nv listen to yes933 le..n when i listened to it..it jus..haha its jus my fav channel..aw its zhi shao zhou de bi ni zao..wahaha i meant e song title..

o shugs i m bloggin without thinking..i tink my fingers r e one moving..nt my brain..cz as u can see..i dunno wad i m typing..i tink i m a little tired le la..haiz..haven do hist essay yet..=(..

hao la..shall end here le..take gd care every1!..byee..

ps.aw e person who wrote in to yes933 so ke lian..so sad..e song on yes933 nw is "first love"..
o mian..sad songs day..

][.FEarless.][
][.i wanna be on e ferris wheel with u all.][

][.a smile on my face as i thought of all these.][

][.a smile on my face as i thought of all these.][

i m looking forwards to wed n sat thou its only e 1st day of e wk which is mon =P..

i m looking forward to wed cz thou it wun ba like sss day..but it jus sumhow reminded mi of sss day last yr =P ah ha n dun ever under-estimate how tiring building sandcastles can be man =P haha..n woo hoo..so fast..another yr had past without us knowing..its amazing isn't it..those that ard u had grew..stepped into e society etc..n soon it will be my turn..haha lol aw i m looking forward to e sss =D hee

den nxt..sat..haha i hope e outing will be a successful one..cz its e 2nd yr anniversary..wahaha 14/4/05= unforgettable =P..hope e outing will be a successful 1 n hope every1 can make it ba..n as i tot abt that..i tu rang xiang dao..e power of 10..it seems that every yr when i take even no. its better..hee look at sec2 n 4..n i m tinking if i shuld cut short hair once again..haha yeah man..i m superstitious..but who cares..1++ mre wks to e comp..shall decide as e days go by..wadever i m crapping man..

haha hmm wad else..jus wanna say jia u every1 ! keep n faith n fight on!..a road w no obstacles will be a road that lead u to nowhere =)..so jia u yeah! i believe u all can do it de..be it for studies, for life..for wadever it is..jia u!

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.winning is nt everything but wanting to is.][

][.wad m i tinking.][

][.wad m i tinking.][

wanted to blog ytr nite..but was too tired to do so..so i shall blog abt it nw..=)

ytr trng was..erm i dunno..i onli noe that e sun is ma chiam peeling my skin off n i can feel that my temper was on e constant rising..like ya..i was telling myself cannot lose ya temper becoz of e weather ah..constantly reminding myself that..aw thats nt e main pt..dere's so much to improve on..

aw yah so after trng went for lunch w chew peng at e airport..haha den talked abt ahs bball life..like which batch n which batch we like e most..den we both agreed that we like my sec4 yr..her sec3 yr e most..haha act i said sec2 too..but that bhb de say i shuld like sec4 de yr de more..cz sec4 yr gt her =_=:: aw thats nt e main pt la..but ya..den we talk n talk den i discovered that act we onli played tgt for a yr be4..but why does it seems like we had played tgt for so long?..den as i tink bac..tink bac e sec sch life..hmm sec4 1 was e one that i remembered e most ba..cz its most memorable? haha i dunno..but yah..

aw after that i came hm to bathe 1st be4 meeting em to study at e airport..din manage to do much cz was realli tired..den jiu nua n stoned a bit be4 dinner..hmm den called fungi cz nana wan to ask her a chem qn but dun dare..but aw..thats nt e main pt too..after that i received a msg n i realli dunno how to reply initially..i tink my replies disappointed that person ba..but i realli dun dare to give any promise..cz i m realli tired of all those n i realli feel that living in this manner is so much better..i m a coward..i dun like to quarrel..jus peace..i love to live in such peace..

so..nana n chu was talking abt sum stuffs which was rather similar to mine..yah..jus that their's 4yrs whereas mine is 8yrs..yah friendship prob..n i started thinking..why did everything ended up this way?..why is it so?..den e songs on my mp3 was coincidentally my friendship folder..so many things n memories began their like u noe..flashbacks..n i realli thought abt lots..

why wuld sumthing end up in this way?..
i questioned myself..
is it becoz of my stubborn bull attitude..
is it becoz of..
is it becoz of..

i noe its realli childish n no logic to many others that why wuld things turned out in this way..
sum1 v impt said we had been trying so hard to maintain e friendship btw us..5 of us..n that they feel e pain too..n all she hope for is for us to patch up asap..i realli stoned at e msg..i realli did..i dunno wad to tell her..i m realli v sorry..n i dun wan to make em sad..but e thing is..i realli haf no confidence that things wun turned out this way anymore..cz once n again..things go wrong..n i realli hate it..i hate e situation..i hate myself..i hate her..i realli hate everything..thats why i chose to remain in this way..which at times i felt that i m escaping from e prob but at least i noe that there wun be anymore problem anymore..

after all these months and all these quarrels..i realli learnt sumthing v impt..u realli can't take ya words n hurt inflicted bac..no way can they ever be erased..a human brain ain't like a computer..dere is no backspace..dere is no delete..dere is onli enter..yup it's impt to cherish n treasure..n i m realli being v stubborn..i came up w this myself.."cherish e present when u haf it..n when u lost sumthing..its fated..dun turn back le.."..yup..i realli can't turn bac n accept wadever it is nw..cz i noe deep down in my heart how i m feeling..it's disgusted..it's escaping frm reality..it's so much that i dunno how to let u noe..or rather i can't bear to let u noe my dear friend..

hao la..end here le..i dunno wad i m bloggin..jus as i dunno wad i m tinking..jus take gd care every1!..byee..

p/s : fungi..i realli treasure e friendship btw e 5 of us..but can we jus remain this way..cz sumthings r realli hard to be explained..

][.FEarless.][
][.escaping from e world.][

][.focus.][

][.focus.][

i m aware of e amt of limited time that i m left for ct2 n for e real BIG thing..e As..but my mind jus can't seem to get down n concentrate on my studies..hate myself for that..n yet at e same time i can't help it..

read 3 diff bball comic for today..dear boys, cross-over n slam dunk..o mian n i jus can't wait to play bball tml..yah..thats all i m feeling now..i wanna play..i wanna play e game seriously (doesn't meant that i wasn't serious last time =P)..yah..

so wad if u dun recognise mi?..
i tink i m nt gg to be bothered by it anymore..
i wanna play..
i wanna improve..
i wanna enjoy..
i wanna prove u wrong..
i wanna win..=]

][.FEarless.][
][.101% focused.][

][.press on.][

][.press on.][

VJ attack!
VJ defence!
VJ lets go!

today is a nice day..i tink =) haha ended sch at 12:45 den tok tok w mr sayers n i tink he is a realli nice tutor..he makes mi love hist more..in fact i haf v gd hist tutors for eg.ms edna tan n ms goh..haha i tink i m blessed to haf such gd tutors..=)

haha aw thats nt e main pt of my blog today =)..hee so after that went to pp w sh to coffee beans! haha drank e usual mocha ice-blended w whip cream *sinful* whereas sh drank e white white 1..ok i m lame..ignore that..hmm gg to coffee bean n drinking that drink nv fails to remind mi of studying for my promos (last yr) and res etc..haha nv knew it culd be so nice to be sitting ard n tok..this is my 1st time doing so at coffee beans..cz usually dou shi mus pia for e upcoming papers le..so no time to so relax n tok n watch e world goes by =P but yeah man i got to do it today n it was nice =D xie lo sh XD..

haha lol so after that went bac for trng..den there was team talk..haha hmm shall nt go into it..cz too much to say le..but yup i realli felt more motivated after e team talk..but like wad sh say..i tink all these shuld nt be onli be said..it shuld be actions..wad u do instead of wad u promise..so yeah man..haha den today de trng hai man slack de..cz after do 60 center moves jiu play 5 on 5..hmm i realli felt gd abt today's 5 on 5..i tink i m too noisy thou..but thats nt e main pt..i tink today's a real game..its nt e best game..but its a real game..n i m glad to play such games..it reminds mi of e 5 on 5 we played in ahs..eh..dun misunderstand ah..i m nt comparing this 2 teams ah..i jus felt that it is better to play like this..encourage each another n push yaself to e max..like v tired le still will go bac defense etc..i like it..i like it this way..so pardon mi for being so noisy =X cz i feel more energinzed to play onli den..=) haha lol so i realli pray for this kind of spirit to go on! jia u VJ! lets make it a gd season..cz like wad sh say..v sadly de..this will be our last sch season le ! so lets make it a gd n memorable 1 yeah! =D

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..its gd friday le..enjoy ya day! =D

ps. o n yah..haha 0254 nice toking to u =P jkjk..jia u for ct ah! =D

][.FEarless.][
][.LETS GO!.][

][.mood=sin graph.][

][.mood=sin graph.][

i m hafing a sin graph mood today..its till e max n happy pt den till e min n upset,disgusted n sad pt..mamajan drew a graph on my SEA paper n showed mi my mood for today..n i can't help but agree w her..so shall blog down my sin graph day..


#my dull n boring day which is nt e main pt of my blog today..
morning was e max pt..feeling quite gd de..jus v tired..ytr was min graph so slept v early..after e morning max pt..i did gym..was my min pt..realli sweat lots n quite tired de..esp e twisting w medi ball..after gym went to find e mamas to eat..max pt again..partially becoz of food n partially becoz of i dunno wad..den lit lect..hmm mamajan gave us chocs n i felt rather crappy n high de..so thats my max pt..den lit tut was ok still..den hist tut..min pt..its nt that i dun like hist..i love hist..but sea hist is jus tramatising..too much man..e links that is drawn from here to dere..ah! screams i jus can't get it..after that went to e gym alley be4 econs remedial..its was..erm i dunno..i rather keep my silence..after that econs remedial in e pt..i tried to listen but apparently nth goes in..den after that is my max max pt of e day..went to pp to meet a pig who told mi that she is full n yet we bought so much to eat..it was realli gd..haha i mean e food n meeting up w tooty =P

alright here cums e min min min damm pt of my day!
1st-ly when i took 3 hm..i saw this gal who brought her bbt onto e bus n 2 gals who was eating bread on e bus! i m realli freaking disgusted by their actions la! dun they freaking noe that it's no food n drinks on e bus?! i tink eating already v bad le..guess wad..that damm irritating disgusting gal din bring her empty cup to throw away when she alighted la! disgusting piece of shit! i swear i hate this ppl man! cum on..u already break 1 rule le..n worst still u break e other by nt dispossing ya damm rubbish..dun u noe that u r freaking making e bus dirty n worst still wad if there's ants ? so damm inconsiderate!! after she (e freaking irritating shit) alighted..this lady commented on her la..n i agree w her..if my kid or siblings ever behave in that way..i swear i m so gg to hit em right smack n hard on e face! so irritated by these disgusting lousy ppl!

2nd-ly came hm to hear mummy scolding didi..so darn pissed off by her scoldings thou she is nt scolding mi la..but yah..den after i heard wad went wrong..i scolded didi..super irritated..n i m also disgusted at how selfish e world can be la..e kids nowadays n all..so disappointed by this ugly world..n this is e 1st time i agree w e words on my shirt that i bought at ice lemon tee => "If u tink every1 is gd, den u haf yet to meet everybody!" hate this world for being so selfish..hate it !!

yup ok..so thats my min pts..i realli dun und why can ppl be so selfish..can't they jus be more considerate..why can't life be simple? why can't ppl be helpful? i realli dun understand! is it realli so freaking hard? why can't that damm gal throw her own cup away? why can't e kids be honest n return my bro his stuffs? why is this world turning uglier day by day? is this wad e real world is like? i noe it is..but i jus hate it!

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! sorry for e sinful lang that i used..realli disappointed w e ugly world..byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.quality > quantity.][

][.ups n downs.][

][.ups n downs.][

when things go wrong..
when sadness fill my atmosphere..
when e tears were falling..
u came n caught it..
n my load became lighter..
thank you..
thanks for e phone call..u nv knew how much it made mi felt better..thanks =)

had an unfriendly friendly n i mus thank 3 person in particular..thanks da 1031! thanks auntie joy! thanks mummy! thanks for hearing mi grumble..thanks for ya encouragements..thanks for ya understandings..thanks! u all realli made mi felt much better =) xie xie ni men =)

hmm thanks auntie joy for ya nice nice n meaningful words..its abt e differences that u r able to make! i will rmb that always de..=)

haha..thats abt it ba..nt realli in a mood to blog..take gd care every1! byee..

i m nt missing u..=x


][.FEarless.][
][.press on.][