][.wad m i tinking.][

][.wad m i tinking.][

wanted to blog ytr nite..but was too tired to do so..so i shall blog abt it nw..=)

ytr trng was..erm i dunno..i onli noe that e sun is ma chiam peeling my skin off n i can feel that my temper was on e constant rising..like ya..i was telling myself cannot lose ya temper becoz of e weather ah..constantly reminding myself that..aw thats nt e main pt..dere's so much to improve on..

aw yah so after trng went for lunch w chew peng at e airport..haha den talked abt ahs bball life..like which batch n which batch we like e most..den we both agreed that we like my sec4 yr..her sec3 yr e most..haha act i said sec2 too..but that bhb de say i shuld like sec4 de yr de more..cz sec4 yr gt her =_=:: aw thats nt e main pt la..but ya..den we talk n talk den i discovered that act we onli played tgt for a yr be4..but why does it seems like we had played tgt for so long?..den as i tink bac..tink bac e sec sch life..hmm sec4 1 was e one that i remembered e most ba..cz its most memorable? haha i dunno..but yah..

aw after that i came hm to bathe 1st be4 meeting em to study at e airport..din manage to do much cz was realli tired..den jiu nua n stoned a bit be4 dinner..hmm den called fungi cz nana wan to ask her a chem qn but dun dare..but aw..thats nt e main pt too..after that i received a msg n i realli dunno how to reply initially..i tink my replies disappointed that person ba..but i realli dun dare to give any promise..cz i m realli tired of all those n i realli feel that living in this manner is so much better..i m a coward..i dun like to quarrel..jus peace..i love to live in such peace..

so..nana n chu was talking abt sum stuffs which was rather similar to mine..yah..jus that their's 4yrs whereas mine is 8yrs..yah friendship prob..n i started thinking..why did everything ended up this way?..why is it so?..den e songs on my mp3 was coincidentally my friendship folder..so many things n memories began their like u noe..flashbacks..n i realli thought abt lots..

why wuld sumthing end up in this way?..
i questioned myself..
is it becoz of my stubborn bull attitude..
is it becoz of..
is it becoz of..

i noe its realli childish n no logic to many others that why wuld things turned out in this way..
sum1 v impt said we had been trying so hard to maintain e friendship btw us..5 of us..n that they feel e pain too..n all she hope for is for us to patch up asap..i realli stoned at e msg..i realli did..i dunno wad to tell her..i m realli v sorry..n i dun wan to make em sad..but e thing is..i realli haf no confidence that things wun turned out this way anymore..cz once n again..things go wrong..n i realli hate it..i hate e situation..i hate myself..i hate her..i realli hate everything..thats why i chose to remain in this way..which at times i felt that i m escaping from e prob but at least i noe that there wun be anymore problem anymore..

after all these months and all these quarrels..i realli learnt sumthing v impt..u realli can't take ya words n hurt inflicted bac..no way can they ever be erased..a human brain ain't like a computer..dere is no backspace..dere is no delete..dere is onli enter..yup it's impt to cherish n treasure..n i m realli being v stubborn..i came up w this myself.."cherish e present when u haf it..n when u lost sumthing..its fated..dun turn back le.."..yup..i realli can't turn bac n accept wadever it is nw..cz i noe deep down in my heart how i m feeling..it's disgusted..it's escaping frm reality..it's so much that i dunno how to let u noe..or rather i can't bear to let u noe my dear friend..

hao la..end here le..i dunno wad i m bloggin..jus as i dunno wad i m tinking..jus take gd care every1!..byee..

p/s : fungi..i realli treasure e friendship btw e 5 of us..but can we jus remain this way..cz sumthings r realli hard to be explained..

][.FEarless.][
][.escaping from e world.][