][.so near yet so far.][

][.so near yet so far.][

haha BOO ! i m here at my bloggy again.."wasting" my time that i shuld spend on my studies instead..but haha..wad can i do..i can't help n hold back my thoughts n secrets de la..haha..thou i realli wanted to do so..hee

hao de..today ish a 50% happiness + 50% sorrow de day..50% de happiness from e day it was given..not deplete..but 50% of heart-break..coz today went to read forever5 de bloggy..i can't help but agrees wif wad fungi had written..e poem..e blog..realli veri meaningful n true n touching..

throughout these 4 yrs..i haf been struggling to try to keep forever5 in e same position in my heart as it was during my pri sch life..those 2 yrs wif their companion had been wonderful..every single day i felt love..i felt happiness..life was jus so carefree..no worries..i mean realli no worries..we quarrelled..we fight..but its onli a matter of a few hrs or e most a few days to get us back together..therefore..there was nothing i was afraid of..i noe they are always here for mi..to protect mi..i became selfish..i became contented..i hid in their protection..rejecting all e other friendship n love from other friends..i had no regrets..not even now..

but as 4 yrs pass..we grew..our distance grew too..we head towards our own directions..our own goals..its been hard on all of us..esp jing..sum chose to let go of it slowly..sum waited patiently yet get nothing in return..
we promised to be dere for one another..but its onli all actions no word..
like wad fungi had said..its not easy..its not true..

~imagine u waiting at e curb all alone for ya buddies to cum along to join u on e journey..
watching all ya other friends walking pass u..heading on their journey..
u waved gd-bye to all these friends and told em to go ahead..
coz ya r waiting for ya best buddies to cum along to hold ya hand n walk wif u to e end of e journey..
sumtimes ya friends ard u..can't help but stop n asked u if u wanna cont on e journey wif
em instead of ya best buddies..
but for e fear that ya buddies wuld appear anytime..maybe e nxt moment..
u hesitated..u told em to go ahead while u cont waiting..waiting for these best buddies to cum along..
but e more u wait..e more disappointed u get..
u r tired of waiting..
u decided to go ahead..u wanna so much to go ahead wif ya friends..
but on e other hand..
u were afraid that ya buddies may be worried n miss u out..when they couldn't see u at the curb..
u sank into a dilema..
not wanting to wait anymore..yet dun wanna ya buddies to be worried n miss u out on e journey..
So..
u came to a decision..
u decided to leave a note behind for em..
telling em that u had went ahead without em..
on ya journey wif ya friends..
u turned back n look for em yet u din see em..
however u did not discover that ya buddies are trying their best to catch up wif u from behind..
u started to feel helpless..u started to feel tired n even more disappointed..
u decided to leave em..
but nv did u noe that..
they are realli trying their best to catch up wif u..
but ya are walking way too fast..
too fast..
ya steps are so big..
e distance is so far..
they culd no longer catch up wif u..
u culdn't see how they struggle to catch up wif u..~

ya buddies are tired out..so is u..all of us are tired out..tired of waiting..tired of chasing..all of us had wanted so much to keep this friendship going on..but in e end we failed..its not any1 of our fault..we did fight to keep this going on..we did..at least we tried din we ?..but maybe its jus too hard..too hard to wait n not seeing em catching up wif ya..tired of chasing yet not seeing u on e journey..

being tired..we started to question each other..how much this friendship valued..did u realli tried ya best to keep this friendship going on..endless qn popped up in my mind everyday..esp as time passes day after day..i told myself..i will nv haf e courage to let u go..coz a friendship is onli lost when u haf e courage to let go..so how do u expect mi to haf e courage to let go of u all..u all who noes how exactly i feel..time n again..i teared as i tink of it..

but now..i tink i shuld let u all go..let u all move on yaself..n jus be dere behind u without ya notice..haha..its not courage..its jus becoz..i wanna u all to realli be happy n forget this friendship thou i wun realli wanna u all to..all i wan ish u all to move on in e journey of life without hafing to slow down n stop n wait for one another..

move on my friends..dun wait for each another le..dun hesitate...jus move on..if fate allows us..we will meet at e end..at e end of e road..we will meet once again..e memories that u all had given mi ish more than enff to last n keep mi moving on..so jus move on ba..move on without one another ba..coz i had always believed in 50% fate & 50% hard work..we had fight so hard to keep our friendship going le..so jus leave another 50% to fate ba..let fate decide if we r meant to be friends for life ba..if we r..we will meet once again..if not..hafing this friendship is already my blessing le..

believe in mi..trust mi..i m not letting go of u all now..i m jus losening e string of e kites..letting e kites fly higher..n i believe..1 day..e string of e kite will haf an end..if e string is strong enff..e kite will fly bac to mi..but if e string ish weak..it will jus break..n u all will jus fly away..leaving mi wif e broken string to keep as a memo for life..

thanks for all e memories that u all had given me
thanks for all e love n concern that u all had given me
thanks for telling me what true friendship is wif e sacrifices that u all had made for mi
thanks for all e surprises that u all haf for mi during my bday
thanks for being dere for mi always..

e thank list will jus go on n on..jus like u all..and now i m letting u all fly to where u wanna..rmb..dun stop n wait for one another le..jus go on my friend..go on..i will nv forget wad u all say.."forever5 is onli forever5 when wen , jing , moi , fe and fungi..5 of us is together..without 1..we jiu bu shi forever5 le.." so now forever5 will be kept in sumwhere deep..till e day 5 of us cum back together..i will wait..

haha hao la..take care le zhu tous n every1..hee jia u in ya life journey too..ppl said "absence make e heart fonder"..fungi dun agrees..n now i dun too..i can onli say..absence make e heart exhausted..

][.feARLESS.][