][.i wanna make it.][.for myself.][

][.i wanna make it.][.for myself.][

for e past few months..
i haf been telling myself..
i need to work hard..
coz i dun wan to disappoint..
i dun wan to make em worry for my future..

but today..
from today onwards..
i wanna make it..
i wanna do it..
not for any1..
but for myself..

i wanna prove myself right..
i wanna do it..
yes..i wanna be just like be4..
n i will..

yes..of coz i wuld still work hard for "em"..
but it wuld be more for myself..
coz its my own future..
no1's else..

haha yah..anyway today got back 3 subs for my prelims..chi eng lit..i wun say its gd..neither wuld i say its bad..i m onli glad for my chi..coz after a whole yr of not getting A1..i finally got it back..i wuld jus wanna say thanks to mummy..coz she realli ish my chi de living dict sia ;p haha..

den as for eng n lit..i wun say i m disappointed ba..coz wads over is over..but i m feeling veri mixed de gan jue now..i asked mr chan how i fare for my maths..n he said i barely scrap thru..shugs..i hate it man..i mean i hate myself..i noe i ain't going to do well for my sci too..ms tay din reply my sms..so all i can is wait till tml to noe my results..haiz..its gonna be a over 20 n a 1st 3 months gone kinda of thing..den ppl ard mi will ask.."ae..wad happened to u?..why so lan?.." n wad can i say.."hmm paper veri hard"..haha..wad a lie sia..i noe it ain't hard..jus like wad my pri sch teacher say " u noe how to do jiu not hard..dunno jiu hard..ppl got study jiu not hard..u nv study jiu hard..no excuse de"..haha n i agrees..so how ne?..haha

was rather sad de..after i noe i barely scrap thru my both my maths..coz..haha a maths..i realli placed efforts into it..maybe it jus wasn't enough..perhaps..haha must be becoz not enff efforts ba..i m sorry..i will try harder de..

anyway today went TM wif wen,moi,fungi n sh..i was like collasping le..realli feel like sitting down n jus slp..n when i walked i felt as thou i m going to disintegrate like e death hawk moth in "I'm e king of e castle"..disintegrate n gone forever..haha..ps..imagination too erm..but haha thats how i felt at that moment la ;p..that moment..was so tired..esp when i xiang dao i m going to face my lousy maths n sci results tml..ppl are jus telling mi that u can make it de la..haha realli thank em..coz thats kinda of console la..but i noe..i noe myself..i noe my own standard..haiz..

so was kinda of sianz de look n seems as thou i m dying la..sorry to em..coz not veri gd to be so sianz ba..haha yah..den anyway i had a strong urge to buy shorts..yeah op those kinda of shorts..so called mummy n asked her where she is..wanna her to cum n buy shorts for mi ;p haha so lucky de..she at whitesands..so jiu ask her cum down to TM ;p n haha maybe she gd mood ba..a while jiu reach le..den we went to buy shorts..haha wanted to buy this blue op shorts de..mummy tinks its nice too..but she found mi 2 others..n i tot it was not bad..esp gotta one ish brown den sides ish sunset de colour de..got coconut tree summore..den gotta seagull at e back..haha i saw e shorts le..i jiu told myself yesh i mus buy this..haha like "this is e one" de gan jue la..so bought 2 shorts at op ;p but din buy my blue shorts in e end..hee mummy like e other 2 better ;p haha so anything la..anyway she paying leh..haha jkjk..i liked em too la..

den hmm after i get my shorts..i brought mummy back to TM..(ps. e op shop at CS)..den wanted to show her sum sports wear de..den ended up buying a grey + orange de converse shoes..hee coz mummy tinks its nice n she tinks i onli wears e same pair of shoes everytime i go out..so she decided to buy mi one..haha n i quite liked it too la..coz its grey ! my new fav colour..hee so jiu buy lo..haha go out wif mummy quite gd de..haha she jus buy things that i wan for mi..as long as she tinks its practical n i will use ;p haha n mummy gotta gd taste..haha sh says de..n she realli does haf la..haha

den after that bought a hangten de collar tee..coz i love collar tee..i tink veri nice..hee den we bought dinner n came home to fetch didi le..

haha so long nv shopping le..i mean shopping wif mummy le..den haha yah..nxt time i old le..mus earn lots of money for mummy to shop too..coz she gotta gd taste sia..haha n her gd n "weird" taste de things hor..all veri ex de..but haha she treat mi so gd..i mus treat her gd too ;p hee..

den yah..anyway came home n showed my mummy my results..n yah..she realli veri nice today..haha..or maybe she give mi much less stress le ba..she looked thru my exam scripts n jus asked mi to jia u..she say she cannot help mi much le..i dou sec4 le..den i told her my prelims most prob over 20..she say jiu 1st 3 months revise e jc work at home ba..den i asked her wad if i cannot make it to jc..she told mi to try going to poly..haha..she jus said..if cannot make it no pt forcing myself into it..poly wuld be jus as gd too..den she even added that ite now also not bad le..i understand wad she means..she meant that everything will haf a way out ba..haha maybe she see i too sad den trying to cheer mi up ba..haha thanks mummy..deres sumthing that she said that made mi more touched..she say "jui zhong yao hai shi du zhi ji xi huan de..jiu xing le"..haha meaning jus choose e sub that u interested ba..haha den i told her wad i realli hoped for..but she say..i dun realli hope that u will play bball your whole life..haha..i noe why..coz she told mi be4..seeing mi play her heart veri scared..haha..ke ai de mummy ;p..anyway yah..so talked wif mummy regarding my results etc for quite long de..den i feel so sad-ed..yah..i noe i wanna make it..for myself..but i wanna make it for my parents too..they realli veri gd to mi..providing mi wif a gd family le..wad more can i ask..haha so i mus make it..for myself..so that they can be proud of mi..haha n of coz..theres many others whom i wanna em to be proud of mi too..so yeah..i need to jia u le..

thou i still veri worried n affected by my prelims results..but i promise..O levels de..gonna be a diff case..maybe..perhaps..yea it must be..

haha hao la..shall stop blogging for today le..rather long le ba..nd to go slp le ;p haha thou i jus woke up from a nap at 9:30 pm ;p but haha i nd to slp..i nd e energy to face my sci n maths tml..wish mi all e best ba..haha tc every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.npo.][
][.sorry.][