][.wo xu yao chao hui na suo bu chu kou de gan jue.][.wo yao ni wei wo gan dao jiao ou.][

][.wo xu yao chao hui na suo bu chu kou de gan jue.][
][.wo yao ni wei wo gan dao jiao ou.][
for those who dun understand my han yu ping yin de title..today my bloggy ish gonna be flooded wif these..it means..i need to find back e kinda of feeling which i m unable to describe n i wanna "u" to be proud of mi..yeah thats wad i m gonna blog today..gonna be bored..haha..so read onli if u interested la ;p hee

days pass without any notice..i tot i m gonna be alright n strong but i m not..i tot its onli a small thingy n it wun affect mi in any way but i m wrong..in actual fact..its nothing..it seems nothing but it is..why m i so useless..why can't i even manage this..its jus a little fever which took away 2 and a 1/2 trng session..its jus a little little minor thing compared to e injuries that my mates had suffered..but it seems that theres sum change..as much as i tries to conveince myself that nothing is wrong..i knew sumthing is wrong..veri wrong..esp after today's match wif ite (east)...

i knew i lost e special kinda of feeling..e special kinda of touch for e ball..e special kinda of..haiz i dunno how to say..today din get to play e actual game as much as be4..today during e 1st 3 quaters..tries to focus on court..but its short span..once i make a mistake..my mind starts to fluster..i m lost..i m afraid that i will make more mistakes n drag e team down..shugs wad attitude is that man..deserve a gd bashing man..so i tries my best to psycho myself during e 4th quad that i gotta stay fOcUs with e "power" ! yes nothing else..mistakes so wad..make le jiu make up for it..n yah..i can say i realli tried my best..but onli for e 4th quad..

noe what..i can't jump n sprint..e ball infront n i dunno wad i doing..maybe too long nv play le ba..so disappointed wif myself..i noe i m not a gd player..but at least when i played last time..i still haf e confidence n felt that yesh i worked hard n made it...i m to stand here to play n represent my team..my team mates..but that kinda of feeling is no longer within mi now..i felt that i m jus dragging em down..i feels that any1 can jus do better den mi..thou i seriously dun like to admit that...haha but i jus get e feeling yeah..

now i onli haf 1 thing in mind..yesh..its exams periods..but i dun wanna lose e special feeling even more..i will get it bac..i believe in myself..coz i dun wanna disappoint myself once again n ya..dun think its sumthing so major..jus wanna blog to place my negative thoughts to a rest..i nd to buck up..i promise u..i will make "u" proud of mi sumday..

hao la..jus here to let my thinkings rest in peace..coz i m gonna bury it n cont le..nd to jia u le..e coldness of e nite as thou my heart while playing is a feeling that i dun wanna try once again..i promise..i promise myself..

hao la..veri tired le..go rest le..u all also jia u n take care le..

][.be4 that..i dun deserve it.][