][.wo men dou zhang da le ba.][.wo men de gu shi.][
haha pls bear wif mi..this blog gonna be veri long n windy...gonna be rather "selfish" coz its all my thoughts n feelings abt sumthings..so read it onli if u haf e time to spare la ;p hee realli paiseh..
ok yah..today went to watch "Na Yi Ye" by our sch de CDS..haha be4 i went to watch..i was so xin tong coz my $15 jiu like this gone le..but after watching..haha i can say i nv regret..*claps* for ahs CDS members..hee realli veri touched by their performance...i personally love e 2nd n 3rd show even more...in fact...e 3rd show was e best to me..
why i love the 3rd show..coz it says in real life there is no fairytales..haha den they say ppl shuld not leave in e memories..but shuld cont creating new memories..it jus express all that i m feeling now...haha no1..theres no fairytales..no forever in reality..haha no2..i feel that i m leaving in my own memories land..where i keep on reminding myself of all those happy moments..i relish em over n over..but new memories do cum in..but its nv like be4..den no3..i looked at forever5 now..i jus dunno wad to say..so sad so sad..sorry seems to be e word to say...i tink i failed badly as a frend ba..during e whole show..i jus recalled our past..e days when we sat on e "fitness corner" that 2 bars n occupy it during the whole recess...not letting any1 play..e days where we spend all our free time at e bball court..playing those kido bball which we laugh when we see those young kids playing now...e days when we jus luff at each other n speak our minds out without any considerations..e days we fight n say dun frend u and yet patch up e other day...
while watching that show..i tot of a lot a lot...i tot of how we grew..how old are we now..how we change..we are no longer e same us..we pursue diff dreams going on diff journeys of life..2 wks ago.."feng bo" happened..i tot its over..but it came back to mi..i tot its all ok..n today i felt e strain again..i feel so agrh...in e middle of nowhere..being a sandwich..being a bridge..running here n dere..i saw the disappointment n sadness in their eyes when ya choose to leave n was so quiet when wif us...i understand e reason that u chose to be so quiet wif us..its like u understand how both sides felt n here u are in e middle..not knowing wad to do as a frend..at lost..i m a libra*jus for lame*..but that dun mean that i can balance both sides at e same time..i m not able to decide where to go n what to say...who to comfort..who to tok to..haha lalala ( my new invented "word")..i m realli not a gd frend ba...why m i getting e feeling that its nv gonna be saved le ne ?..haiz dun wanna tink so much...but my heart dun seems to be able to control my mind..i jus tink n tink of it..
to mi..friendship is when u can speak ya mind out..i mean when i regard sum1 as my real best frend..i wun hesitate..wad i wanna say i jiu say..i m not afraid that u will get angry n stuffs..but today wad moi told mi realli veri saddening..i tink its like..hmm haha i dunno..but to mi..when i m wif my frends..i feel no stress..i feel relaxed..when i m wif em..i m having e happiest moment n not e worst moment..i wan to stay at e moment n not wanting e moment to be over soon n wanna go home..i wuld wanna share all my happiness n sadness wif em rather than keeping everything to myself..i shuld not be afraid that i wuld hurt em..coz if i do..i m not treating em as my real best frend le..haha all those are jus my own definations..but after all these..i tink i grew n i learnt sumthing..it seems like only when u haf e same interests that u will be able to communicate..n it onli when u communicate that the friendship conts..haha thats wad i feel up till now..but i dun believe..i mean haha maybe i m foolish..but i do feel that if its true..everything can be overcum..but i guess thats jus a dream ba...
hmmm nbm shuld i console myself ?..at least it did improved as compared to 2 wks be4..but its not going anyway if we cont this way..n i believe like wad moi say..she will jus let go..i noe how i will react when that day cum..but no matter wad..all of u all are gonna be my greatest n nicest memories when i look back...i m jus holding on now..coz i dun wanna haf any regrets when i look back..n i believe that it will sumwad last..haha den hmmm pri sch will always be my greatest memories..coz at least up till now..i tink my sec life haf got nothing except bball team n bball which i will look back n miss..but pri sch life..i miss everything..coz theres u all..
i jus wanna all my frends to be happy..esp u all..when i was young..i tot that it wuld at least last till be4 we leave to work in e society..but now..its like gonna be over ?...from pri sch to sec sch..we overcum a barrier..which makes us sumwad closer n further..now we haf not faced e jc/poly barrier n we are already drifting..piao yi...is it realli becoz we are all old le n we tink in a more mature way..we grow n our circle of friends widen..i tink its sumthing that cannot be avoided n hafing more frends is jus part of life..ling zhi once say..at diff stage there will be diff friends acc-ing u thru..is it true that u all acc mi de period is already over le ne ?..haha i dunno n i dun wanna noe...
den hmmm i jus noe..being alone wif 4 of u..i still feel veri veri veri happy n relaxed..but when 5 of us is together..i feel so awkward..so diff atmosphere as be4...maybe when we were young..we shared e same dreams ba...made so many promises...tokyo tower..go to same sec sch..live under e same roof..play as main5 together..win everybody..form a band..haha maybe all those are onli my own dreams den..but i m sure at least when we were young..we enjoyed each others' company n nv felt sianz n awkward...but now we all grow old le..we change le..its sumthing that cannot be helped ba..haha i knew it...
jus wanna say..4 of u will always gonna be my best of friends..(of coz there are sum others too) and that even if 5 of us de friendship ends..4 of u will each remains as a special one to mi..this is not gonna change..
hmmm haha i crapped so much le...haha but thats how i feel ba..lalala i wonder how e others feel..no matter wad decisions u all make..i jus wanna u all to be happy..i will always be behind..in e journey of friendship..i will not be in front leading u e way..neither will i be beside u to hold u thru everything..coz i choose to be at ya back n give u a pat on e shoulder n a push ya on when u face difficulties..n be ya support...i may not able to do this..but at least for u all..i will try my best...lalala can take it as i crapping..can take it as mushy..can take this blog as anything u tink..but u will nv change how i feel n wad i mean..lalala
][.zhi yao ni men xing fu.she mer dou wu suo wei.][
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