][.sraet.][

hello bloggy!

if you know me well enough, you will be able to understand today's post title.
it is hurting.
tt dream was so vivid tt i almost woke up in tears.
i had been in tears every moment tt i can be alone n think about it.
it will haunt me for life.
one day, i will look back and ask myself once again, why am I making this decision?
who would have thought tt this day will come?

tml will be the first time tt i officially break e news.
i know, i no longer matter.
but those moments of craving to be back in tt no. 10 jersey.
those moments where you held me by e court and gave me e faith to play.
those moments which you encouraged me and pushed me on to believe in myself.
those moments when you grabbed me from the bench and pushed me on to a sub.
those were the moments.
with the torn in my knee.
all these moments are gone.
and i will be gone.
gone from a team tt i nv thought i will leave, till i won a champion for you.
damm those moments.
it brings so much pain to me now.

damm it.

take gd care every1! =]

][.10.fe.15.][
][.niap.][

][.disappointment.][

hello bloggy! sorry that i had been blogging lesser nowadays. not tt i have nth to share, but rather, sometimes i'm just too lazy to put them down into words. tonight, i met some friends and thought about what happened since knee incident. i am blessed and i truly see somethings differently. there is really more to life than just basketball. i had always wanted to go back and play so much. but there is no longer a reason for me to go back. don't worry, i still love the game. i still enjoying playing. i may still go back to the game but for now, i know i won't go back to a certain place. i won't go back to a certain person. one tt i used to respect so. i believe in effort and time. these are the most precious things tt you can give someone. cz, these are part of your life, esp time. however, as i recall and reminisces i see e time n effort from some and i see the lack of it from ppl tt i tot should care more. maybe it's my expectation. but for me, maybe i am glad tt you din, for at least i can say.. thanks & bye. you taught me so much. you used to lift me from my darkest moments. but in this darkest moment, you left me behind. for someone who left me behind, i won't chase and ask you to place me in your sight again. i did nth wrong to deserve this treatment and i finally saw what i am to you. i was just a pawn in the chess set tt can be left behind once it's useless. this is the cruelty. i understand and i won't deny anymore. i am gg back on my promise to fight for you. cz, it's not worth the fight. you were. but now... you ain't worth it, anymore. take gd care every1! sorry if i sounded offensive. it's just some boil up thoughts. always rmb this, if someone treats you as an option, don't treat them as an priority. jiayou!! =] ][.10.fe.15.][

][.cycling alone.][

someone once asked me, you can always cycle in Singapore, why do you always wish to schedule some cycling time when you are overseas? i smiled. perhaps, i really enjoy cycling cause since my op, cycling is the fastest way tt i can bring myself around. (thou i still cycle v slow) but i love it. i love being on e bike cz its just like running. at tt moment, you are all on your own =] i need some cycling alone time. once in a while, i love these moments alone. clocking targets alone. satisfaction, n time to clear ur thoughts. cause when you are alone, you can be yourself. you can say "shut up! i am leading my life the way i want and don't come and mess with me!" i am not a "yes woman". i have loads of weird principles tt some may not agree and i choose not to say at times. there are things tt i detest n i just can't help it. yet at e same time, i und tt i cannot put my definition of perfections upon others. hence, my silence. hence, my smile beneath e sian-ness. cz one of my principles = not to force your opinions upon others. but at times, i just wanna say, it's my life. =] ok bloggy. ultra tired. no idea what i ranting le. just wanna go cycling real soon =]] take gd care every1! =]] ][.10.fe.15.][ ][.zzz.][