][.new ear piece.][

][.new ear piece.][

after a wk w/o being able to listen to my mp3..i finally get to do it again le! cz due to wen's gong lao..i bought e ear piece le..hee kinda like e colour de wow..haha aw thats nt exactly e pt la..i jus like it n will hao hao take care of it de..i promise..cannot spoil it again le ! haha

hmm had fish n co..feeling sinful n fat =P haha n i m super dark again..its dark n red n soon e red-ness will be gone n i will be darker than be4 due to today's trng..

n hmm today is a okok day ba..cleared sum misunderstandings w sum pig which was due to our hp's miscommunications..haha den wen w her lame-ness..toking to fungi..jing etc..seeing em jus make mi feel so much better..so much..=) thanks pig..

haha n i haf been repeating 3 songs over n over again..shugs i m feeling so tired le..hao ba..shall go rest le..tml zai do my hw =P

byee every1! take gd care..

][.FEarless.][
][.wo hui hao hao guo.][

][.its over.no pt forcing it =).][

][.its over.no pt forcing it =).][

1st-ly be4 i start this post that i feel that is going to be kind of sad etc..i mus do sumthing v important 1st..HAPPY BIRTHDAY lqjl! haha ok..hmm i noe thats jus mi being lame but yah..realli shen shen de zhu fu ni..aw its 30/3 nw..but by e time i finish e post..it wuld be 31/3 le ba =P

n i guess i will nv forget this day ba..cz its e day which i finally sorted out my thoughts..its abt how i shuld break e news to e 2 other 2 ba le..aw lets start w my day ba..it was nt exactly a gd 1..started off w stomache..shugs..so after that gp..maths..lit..econs..sports day..haha e lame lame de 8 x 50..den e nice nice de cheer leading..n when sports day commence..there was a little memory lane in mi that was gg thur a roller coaster..memories abt last yr's sports day came bac..bit by bit..so many a time i felt like sending u a msg to let u noe that..hey its sports day again..rmb last yr? i realli wanted to..but i din..cz i m afraid that i wuld end up waiting like a fool once again..n i und..e enviornment realli changed =)

so thur'out e whole sports day..i wasn't exactly in my best of mood..cz i was tinking of last yr n all e bits n pieces of memo..den requested to do crunches etc outside..cz i wan to c e sky..i wanna relax..n so many things ran thur my mind during that period of time..realli..i can hear my heart shouting..i noe how i felt..but i noe..i haf to get use to this no matter wad..

after that went thaipan w sh,chu.melia n moi..it realli cheered mi up a little w all e gossipping etc..but sumthing happened after that which i haf no wish to elaborate..but i m jus so thankful that wen is on earth n that i met her! wen..i m sorry for tiring u out w all that happened btw us..but i guess that wuld be 1 of e last..cz i guess..we jus haf to believe in wad my mummy says ba..yuan fen yi jing..when fate is up..there's no pt carrying on n forcing it..n jus as wad u said..our characters realli dun match..n this time round..i guess u resigned to wad my mummy said too ba..its jus fated to be over..no pt forcing n carrying on..n this time round..i noe u und..i noe u und how i feel n wad i m doing..with u understanding e situation n calming mi down..it realli feels so much better..sorry for all e sinful things that i haf said to pollute ya ears..thanks wen..thanks for understanding..my faithful lifetime friend..=)

aw yup..i guess its tiring to quarrel n patch up n repeat this process over such a short period of times..told wen that i used to believe that we dun haf to be afraid..cz i noe n believe that e friendship that is shared btw e 5 of us can withstand all quarrels n get better..but after all these that haf happened..i noe it can't..n i dun wanna try anymore..realli tired n sick of it..its enff..lets jus end it peacefully this way ba..no pt toking over it..cz its nt e 1st time..its been e dunno how many times since e 1st quarrel last yr..so lets jus end it peacefully ba =) sorry for rejecting ya calls..but i guess u will und mi in times to cum..thanks for all that u had did for mi thou..n yup..believe mi..it takes so much for mi to make this decision..so i wun change my mind..i guess we wuld be better off this way..=) realli..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

p.s aw sorry sh,chu n melia for dampening e mood..=)

][.FEarless.][
][.lets end it this way.][
][.its fated.][

][.n i know.][

][.n i know.][

currently i m listening to zhang xue you's bie wen ?
haha i dunno wads e title of e song..

but e chorus goes sumthing like this..
wei shui fang qi yi qie
[who did i gave up so much for]
wo bu zai shi wo
[till e extent that i m no longer who i m]
shui you shi shui
[so who is who]
bie wen wo de shang
[dun ask abt my wound]
bie wen wo de tong
[dun ask abt my pain]
bie wen wo de xin zhong shi fo zai liu xue
[dun ask if my heart is bleeding]
bie wen wo shi fo xin yi sui..
[dun ask if my heart is broken]
haha din like e song when i 1st heard it..but nw i tink its quite nice la..aw thats nt e pt of me blogging today..=P

hmm ok..so had friendly w sajc today! haha saw ah sam mei =P ok jkjk..haha thanks for e lychee ice =P hee..n hmm nw i m bac hm..hm sweet hm..guess today is overall a gd day ba..=] i m so looking forward to sat..zhu tous! u all r missed! hee

hmm dunno why..but i suddenly tot of wad i told u dat day..i told u that u changed..however now as i looked at wads going on..i wan to take bac my words..u din change..its e environment that we r in nw that has changed..i guess wad i haf been praying for not to happen had happened n i guess after all these days..i m getting used to it..realli..its realli quite hard to keep up w each another jus as wad we used to..msgs r replied after a long time..i started off w e hope that u wuld reply almost immediately jus as be4..however i noe u can't cz of work etc..n e working hrs etc..its realli hard..*shrugs*..i was realli nt used to it..i realli couldn't get use to it..wanna share w u e joy n pain jus as be4..however u can't be dere jus as be4..or rather can't be dere on time..n when its over..i m too tired to rake everything up again..so things go unsaid..n as days go on like this..i find myself getting used to it n find myself becoming more independent n shares lesser n lesser w u..i m realli afraid that we wuld drift further n further apart..so be4 all these happens i jus wanna blog down n let u noe that (although u most prob wun be reading this post) i m realli grateful to haf u in my life..

music diary once said =>"diff friends will acc u thur diff period of time"..so i guess u r e 1 that acc mi thur my j1 period ba..thanks..thanks lots..this goes out to all too..thanks for being in my life =]

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.when things go unsaid.][

][.n i smiled.u made my day.][

][.n i smiled.u made my day.][

its amazing how sum1's msg can plaster a smile onto ya face..
its amazing how u wuld grin from ear to ear at ya hp like sum idiots isn't it?..
i dunno..
but if u feel that sum1 who did that is an idiot..
den i mus confess..
i am..=D

my day wasn't exactly gd..neither was it exactly bad..it was jus a day of mini roller coaster..started w arts day n no balloons from e balloon man =( haha ok..thats jus mi being lame..den got bac gp..wow..although my gp was always bad..but this was e worst..din felt much for it thou..cz kinda of expected it..den mr khoo's hist lect which i was haha u noe i noe..preparing for e present la..hmm den heart sank when moi told mi over e phone that e pictures that she helped mi develop are darn ugly..n e bu zhi hao dai de jia huo repeated that twice!! i almost told mamajan to hold mi bac be4 i "kill" her..after that we watched "13days"..it was quite gd (i guess) but it was like fighting a cold war inside (mr khoo's joke) n today is a darn forgetful day w mi forgetting to bring my jacket,waterbottle, pen and eraser..wow..

after e whole sch day ends at 5..rushed to parkway n rushed e present..was realli tired n trying to rush out e whole bday present by today..n when it was finally completed..it was satisfaction n hope that lqjl will like it..cz i m quite man yi w it de..haha n e pics din turned out as bad as moi said..if nt i realli will..haha jkjk..gt this v nice thingy to put e present den buddy n moi also help mi paste e plastic bag w double sided tape..haha xie lo..n yeah..present handed over w my zhu fu(s)..hee after that stayed to record hm u vs qian xi's game..

however all my highness was trampled when i came bac to reality..i hate myself for not feeling e stress of studies which i ought to feel cz of my grades..told mummy i passed..but that dun mean anything..pass w/o a gd A lvl grade means nothing..that was wad she told mi..i told her that i haf to take 1 step at a time..n she asked mi how much time m i left w..*shrugs*..she won..i realli dun haf much time to improve that much le..n yet i m still feeling so relaxed here..can sum1 pls give mi sum pressure..

yup..so was kinda sianz till i heard that msg tone..=>"bei ban"..n i knew i m gg to smile..haha n yup i did..was realli glad..it cheered mi up..n it reminds mi of e past once again..so fast another yr haf past..i dunno how many more yrs will i be doing this..but i m realli glad to haf u in my life..sum1 who give mi e motivation to play on n study hard..was afraid that u wun like it..but phew..*relieved*..haha e nv fail to make my day n make mi smile even in my darkest moments..

haha hao la..shall end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.sharpen ya elbows n fight hard.][
][.i will be dere to support no matter wad.][

][.silence.][

][.silence.][

sumtimes i realli feel that silence may be e best..
its not that i haf nothing to comment abt..
but its jus that so wad if i comment abt it?..

haha every1 will haf their own views..
every1 sees things from their angle..
so even if u tell em ya views from ya angle..
they may nt be able to see it too..

haha so i rather keep my silence..
no pt forcing em to tink wad u tink..
isn't it? =)
or rather..
u noe u can't..

haha hao la..end here le..i dunno wad i m crapping abt..maybe when i get my thoughts straightened out..i will let u noe again..(if u r interested in my craps la =P) byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.is my way of communication.][

][.cheng mo shi yin wei wo bu zhi ru he biao da le.][

][.cheng mo shi yin wei wo bu zhi ru he biao da le.][

today or rather ytr was a day filled with happiness n sadness..

yup..

it was a mixture of both..

happiness cz i get to meet forever5 n floating gang..

happiness cz i noe that there's always n forever this reliable lifetime friend who will be dere..

a lame one but i noe always a great one too =)

thanks for jus being dere n acc-ing mi wen..

it was more than enff..

u cheered mi up unknowingly..

u made mi feel so much better n comforted jus w ya presence when u culd be off sumwhere else..

thanks my dearest lifetime friend

thanks for being there when i needed u e most =)

thanks so so so much..

i m realli grateful but words ain't enff to express my heartfelt thanks to u..hope u got it..=)

sadness cz it's no longer e 1st time..

i m realli lost for words..

so i remained speechless..

i m disappointed..

but yet there's nth i can do..

i guess i m nt gg to do anything le ba..

maybe thats to avoid further disappointment..

n i noe w that..

i m risking sumthing..maybe even our friendship..

cz if i dun do anything..

i noe u most prob wun too..

i m sorry that i din accept ya apology..

cz why din u do that face to face?..

n haf u ever tot of how communicating online or via sms etc is hard to noe how 1 is realli feeling at e time?..

cz this v moment..

i m tearing..do u even noe?..

end here le..take gd care every1..byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.n i can't help e tears falling.][

][.Hana Kimi.][

][.Hana Kimi.][

wahaha yeah man..i noe i m slow..but i finally finished watching it le ! wahahaha..hmm dat show ah realli let mi lol n lol thou got a few parts u will feel e tinge of pain la..hee

aw..its currently 12:29am on a sat morning..but still feeling quite high de..haha hmm e ending ah..hmm hope there's a sequence? haha if thats how u spell it..

haha hmm yah..nt in e right mind to blog much abt e show nw..so yah shuld end here le ba..n yah..my back hurts..i tink its e standing broad jump de impact ba..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! n hope tml will be a gd day for u and for mi and the entire human race ! =P byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.10.fe.15.][

][.Ekam Eveileb.][

][.Ekam Eveileb.][

is it e mind ?
is it e heart?
i dunno..but these 2 r realli influencial..
at least thats how i felt..

u influence how ur mind n heart tinks n feels..
if u feel that everything is gg to be ok..sumhow it will get better..
if u feel that everything is crumbling down..it wuld crumble faster than it actually wuld..
thats how i haf been feeling..

always rmb wad music diary said yrs ago..
mood is like a diease that spreads to ya friends..
if u r happy..they will absorb into ya happiness n feels gd too..
vice versa..

n there was this meaningful e-mail too..
sum1 smiled at mi n i smiled back..
i carried on e smile on my face n smiled to sum1 else down e road..
e person smiled bac..
n i knew that he is gg to carry e smile down e road n pass it on to another person =D..

yeah man my friends..if u ain't exactly in ya best of mood..
try smiling..it do helps at time..
n it wuld onli help if u allows it to..
a lot of things are possible..
it onli depends if we allow em to be possible..

dun feel that everything is crashing down on u..
always rmb this..
we haf food..
we are clothed..
we haf a roof abv our head..
we r jus so so so much fortunate than many others on earth..
sumtimes we r jus so fortunate that we sit down n rants on abt how bad life is..
rmb this..if things are so bad..it can't get any worse..

haha i dunno why i m blogging all these..
i ain't in my best of moods too..
but still feeling positive abt life..
maybe its becoz of e bk that i jus finished reading ba..-> If you culd see mi now..
its a cliche gd bk..
love it..

hao la..take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.fight hard.][

][.invisible field.][

][.invisible field.][

You can have plenty of conversations with people, meaningful conversations, without getting too personal. There's a line, you know, like an invisible field ard ppl that u jus knew not to enter or cross..- "If you could see me now" [Cecelia Ahern]

reading this bk now..sum may say its a cliche love story etc..but i kinda of love it..n wad i blogged abv was wad caught me..yup n i agree completely w it..every1 haf a protective layer..sum little secret that he/she noes no1 to intrude into..sumthing that is personal..i guess thats jus mi..i dun like to haf friends that r on e surface..

paiseh..on e mood to blog today..so pardon mi..read on onli if u r interested or haf e time..yup..i dun like those friendship thats on e surface..neither can i take it if u get into my life like so fast..i jus dun like e feeling..n i will walk away..i m sorry for doing that towards sum..but yah..haha thats jus mi..dun tink u noe mi so well..dun try to noe mi so fast..i will let u noe bit by bit when i feel comfortable abt opening up to u..yup..i dunno if u all agree w mi..but yah..dats jus mi..

den hmm wad else..ooo mr sayers showed us e entry grades for uni etc..to be frank..i realli feel quite inferior in my environment..sumthing that i had nv felt be4 in pri/ sec sch..its sumthing that i can't help at times..haha yah..aw abt e uni..since mamajan gave mi e nus brouchers that day..i gave thoughts to it..wad course do i wanna take?..will i be able to make it?..is it realistic?..n out of all these is..will i be able to make it?..my jc grades realli suxz..maybe its becoz e effort put in is nt enff..haiz i dunno..but yup..dun wan to lag n fall behind anymore..i wanna be dere..

thoughts running thur my mind..spaced out from e class while mr sayers talked abt e courses n e pay etc..while mamajan n matong discussed abt em..cz i was realli uncertain..nd a moment to myself..to tink..to stone?..i dunno wad exactly was i tinking..it was jus a blank..

alright..so e day cont w 4 overwhelming n tramatising periods of d.o.m which left mi all drained..den there was gym n hm sweet hm..haha

yeah man..i guess thats abt all le ba..hee hao la..shall end here den..n o yah..whatever i blogged is jus purely how i feel..so i m sorry if u dun agree w em yeah..tc every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.dun intrude others comfort zone.][

][.sorry.][

][.sorry.][

i can only say sorry to u..
i dunno wad else to say..
i m realli sorry to u..
apart from that i m realli speechless..
i hate e silence..
i hate to tok..
i hate to..
n u noe i m a coward who always run away n avoid e prob..
but thats onli when it cums to u n mi..
sumtimes i realli dunno wad to say..
ku xiao bu de..
i noe its my fault..
but to b frank..
i tink its unfair that i can't accept ya fault as a friend..
yah..hai..
i dunno la..
its all jus too confusing n tiring..

ok..on a lighter note..it was realli gd to haf u callin mi..its been quite long since we get to tok like this le..u brighten my day..=D haha den wen..thanks..xie xie ni..u made my day too..hee by the biscuit n everything..gan dong..

hmm hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.shi wo zhi ji xiang le tai duo, hai shi ni ye zai shan shuo.][

][.shi wo zhi ji xiang de tai duo.hai shi?.][

][.shi wo zhi ji xiang de tai duo.hai shi?.][

wad we haf been saying seems to haf realli happened..
tot today wuld be e day whereby all these thoughts wuld vanish after we meet..
tot that e times we spent wuld be happy..
tot that i wuld be able to share w u all that happened in my life these days..
but that was all tot that..
all that i assumed..
i m jus too wrong to haf hoped for so much..
i shuld nt haf been so hopeful n happy n anticipated so much..
e more hopeful u r..e greater e disappointment..
nw i und why ppl says that..

all that i anticipated turned out to be silence..
u told mi u din noe wad to say..
i tot for a moment..
n i din noe wad shuld i say too..
in e past even thou we meet everyday..dere's still so much to say..
but nw..
all that was left was silence..
silence was all that embraced us..
maybe i m being oversensitive..
maybe u r jus too tired out by work..
so m i..
but i was realli trying to nt dampen e atmosphere..
in e end..
i could nt helped it too..

u told mi u was sad that i alighted w/o saying gd bye..
so m i..
i m super sad n heart pained too..
do u feel it?..

ignore mi..maybe its e overwhelmed of tiredness that caused mi to be like that..
take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.i closed my eyes n allow e tears to flow as they wish.][

][.Zai Jian shi liu gei hui Zai Jian de ren.][

][.Zai Jian shi liu gei hui Zai Jian de ren.][

wahahaha! i m free..like after a wk after torturous CT..which i noe i m so gg to flunk it n yet i wanna get bac my papers n haf a gd laugh over it..n of cz serious reflections =..

haha ok..aw today was e last paper..went out w e concourse kids after that..haha was nice..e pursuit of happiness was nice too..haha e part knowing it to be a real life story jus strucks mi more..do u see e themes involved?? haha ok jkjk..nt doing lit here =P..i mean..hmm e care that parents haf for their kids..i tot of daddy n mummy while i watched e movie too..how they fend n care for us..how they sacrifice for us..n i m realli v gladful to haf em as my parents..is it parental instincts?..haha ok..nxt up..e guy is realli realli so brave la..so brave that when he finally broke down..u will feel e pain..n i tink wad he said to his son was realli so impactful and encouraging..at least that was how i felt..haha..so lets share..=>"Don't let any1 tell u that u cannot make it..Don't let any1 do that..not even me (Your Dad)..If u haf a dream, protect it..PROTECT IT and work for it.." haha its sumthing like this la..hee yeah man..protect your dreams dudes! haha seeing how he holds on and goes is realli..2 words..pei fu..haha

ok..so after that..neoprints..den haha walk ard..dead tired..haha but funny too la..thanks kid for spending this day of freedom from books with mi! haha if nt i will haf no idea how to rot n celebrate also..haha ok..so e trip bac w mamajan 1st saw us dragging ourselves..but after that as we started to tok abt e biggest n best ship on earth..haha ok..i mean friendship..haha felt much awake..haha hmm..so many thoughts ran sitmultaneously (if thats how u spell it)..haha so much so much..that if i wanna blog em down..it wuld be endless n repetitive of wad i haf always been bloggin..so 2 summary pts for all those that been thur my mind..1) friends are ppl u feel comfortable w n w em ard..there's always happiness..=) 2) u will noe how impt that person is to u when there r so many other places that u can go n yet at that moment..u chose to be dere w or for her/him =)..haha thats my summary..jus treasure your friends..there's many diff stages..diff types..but yup..haha do appreciate em huh! =]

haha ok..n yeah! its youtube time! haha..pls let mi rest a while ba..cz after this..it will be endless of camps for 5 straight days..no com..no bed..=( sighs..haha

hao la..end here le..heh heh was loading hana kimi meanwhile..so hope its done le..ooo n yah..e pics..haha for memos..n ya..jus in case u wanna noe abt e clorets lame pic..its part of e amt of clorets that i ate to keep myself awake n studying for CT =P haha..hao la..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.protect it.][

][.fei lun hai.][

][.fei lun hai.][

i mus be in my left mind..guess wad i haf been doing for e past 3 hrs ++?..

i was busy loading fei lun hai's songs to my mp3, hp n playlist..haha..

haiz..feels so bad for doing so nw..but can't help it..their slow songs realli captured my heart..n mus thank chew peng for sending all e songs! =D hee..

hmm today is another day..spent my day stoning by a corner at e lib..trying to study econs n stoning to e space..watching e crowd cum n go..e sky turning frm bright to glaring to dim n finally dark..yeah..spent 9 whole full hrs dere..

haha e part after that was fun..moi came,wen came n so did fungi..haha chiong-ing e prezzies w fungi was nice n fun..haha glad that all that we planned came out right..=D hee we can't spell success without U =D hee thanks uUuU love uUuU! hee..hmm love u all..haha..once again..u all made my day a even special 1..wif wen calling mi fei sub-consicously..*humPh*..haha sum1 being rejected for her vocal..ahem..jing dun sad la..sum1 rejected when wanna give us a hug..ahem..wen dun sad ah..n sum1 rejected when suggested a grp hug under e stars..ahem..me..haha it was fun..thanks zhu tous! n wen..once again..happy belated 18! hoped u like all these that we planned for u =D thanks for all that u haf done for us over e yrs =D

haha den nw listening to fei lun hai's songs..yeah man..haha mircale that i haven slp..but haiz ct shuld be doom lo..but nbm..shall work hard for e upupcuming papers den..hee

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.qing zai wo hou hui zi qian li kai wo.][

][.fei ni mo shu.][

][.fei ni mo shu.][

listening to fei ni mo shu nw..been listening to quite a few songs..v nice songs these days..songs that i can repeat non-stop on my mp3...blasting it like no1's business..trying to keep out e noises made by e world..i used to listen to mp3s w vol thats nt as loud but as days go by..i find myself increasing e vol bit by bit..in e attempt to nt listen to wads gg on..cz sumtimes its realli stressful n tiring to listen to it..

aw..ytr was wen's 18th bday! happy bday wen! *5miles* rmb u r loved by us! hee..n wen said sumthing that touched my heart "happiness is e best medicine"..yeah man..glad to noe that u r happy..so m i..=]

hmm den today..A lvls results..heart sank when i heard e results over e fone..today i finally understand wad mamajan meant when she said she was realli worried for her band jnrs results den..awaited their arrival..waited for em to get e results..praying hard n hoping that all will be gd..saw e calm-ness..saw e tears..it hurts..nt knowing wad to do..went for pasta..was raining like no1's business..pasta was nice..had been wanting to eat it since dunno when..

went airport to study for a while be4 cuming bac hm..haiz..there's jus so much things undone..but..bu neng fang qi..shall do wadever i can..

i tink..
unknowingly i haf hurted u as a friend once again..
i m sorry..
1's calm-ness brought abt my worries..
n e worries was diverted to u..
sorry for that..
it mus haf been hard..
cz i been thur these too..
sorry for all these..
but..
dui bu qi..
things changed a little..


][.FEarless.][
][.my heart can't lie.][
][.sorry.][