][.team.][

][.team.][

e post below is based on my current feelings..sorry that u may nt agree with mi..but haiz..this is how i feel nw..i mus say that this team does haf gd times too but..haha..

define it..
i m kinda of guilty that i din go for team outing today..(sorry sh)
but to be frank..
i was kinda of relieve at e same time..
hmm i noe it's bad to be feeling that way..
but..
since last sat after friendly..
i dun feel like i m in a team..
i realli dun feel like..
wanted to blog abt it that day..
but wasn't realli in a mood..
so shall blog today instead..

it was realli disappointing when all jus walk away n can't even bother to wait..
dun they noe that mei2 is nt back yet n that i m waiting for her..
not even a single soul bother to stay n wait..
all jus left..
i was soooo pissed that i almost cried..
lucky daddy was sumwhere nearby..
n i decided to go hm with him..
was too disappointed to go for lunch w such a team..

rmb sum1 once told mi..
friends wun leave each another behind..
true friends will wait for u even if e others haf left..
i learnt abt it frm a friend..
n it is realli true..
its realli sweet n nice..

actually since quite some time ago..
i haf been tinking..
are we realli a team?..
its just too superficial..
is there realli a need to prove that we r realli a team?..
it's all in e heart isn't it?..
it's jus disappointing..
so much so that i can't be bothered with em anymore..

i tink i haf realli changed a lot..
i used to love n look forward to trngs in ahs..
i wanna win e title tgt w em..
i wanna play w em..
i dare to shout at em on court..
we jus shout at each another..
nt becoz we hate one another..
but becoz we wan each to perform even better..
at least that was how i felt..
but nt e way nw..

i miss my TEAM..
my ahs team..
i miss playing bball w a REAL TEAM..
i swear..
at least those team mates will wait for u to leave e place tgt..
together..
haf fun tgt..

trngs then was tgt..
was for e title..
but to be frank..
i m getting selfish..
i m playing bball nw becoz of my ahs team mates..
n becoz of myself..
i wanna improve..
i wanna get better..

during runs..
i m jus pushing myself to e max..
cz i dun wanna lose to em..
i wanna prove em wrong..
its jus tiring..
its jus too competitive that sumtimes i feel that i m suffocating..
i dun wanna push myself that hard anymore..
but deep down i dun wanna lose..
i hate it when they say ahs ppl can't run..
who are u guys to judge?..
no1 on this earth can n shuld judge e other person..

ok..ignore mi..
u can choose nt to agree w me etc..
i m also sorry for wad i haf blogged..
but that's how i haf been feeling..
its jus that i din say it out..
apart to those that realli bother to wait for mi in times of needs..
those that wuld wait for mi even when every other soul left..
those that realli cares for mi..
those that wun leave mi alone crying..
those that wuld truly stand by mi after a disappointing game..
that's wad i call true friends man..

wadever it is..maybe i m jus too disappointed that i rant on n on now..i do haf gd times in e team too..but it is jus too disappointing many a times..but wad can i say..since i do nt realli regard em as a team..as much as i try to..so..i can't expect em to do so too =)..nice yet nt nice..it's hard to define..jus too hard..

alrite..shall stop ranting on..today i went to pray..pray for those that matters to mi..realli hope that everything will go well n gd for em..i realli pray w my heart..hope it will all cum true..new yr is cuming..hope everything will turn for e better..=) n yup..today is overall a nt bad day..cheer up matong ! cheer up sh !

][.FEarless.][
][.friends are not abt quantity.its abt quality.][