][.?.][

][.?.][

haha bloggy..today's blog shall be ? ba..wanted to give it a nice name..but can't tink of any..so yup..jiu use ? ba..its jus like my heart now..haha alright..pardon mi if u tink its lame..cz i jus wanna tok to bloggy n hopefully my guardian angel..if U r realli around for mi..

why is this so..
is it my heart..
my mind..
or my body..

i can sense that i m changing..
not for e better..
but for e worst..
is this e result of time..
or jus myself..

nowadays..
i get tired so easily..
haf so much doubts abt myself..

lost in wad i once loved so much..
i may sound fatalistic..
pessimistic to many..

but jus how much they noe..
in my heart..
i m screaming out loud..
"wo bu xiang fang qi..wo zai zhi zuo zhe"..

since young..
i haf nv realli accomplish anything..
thou i seems to haf..

now in jc..
i m jus a nobody..
realli..
nobody..

i lost it..
i m losing it..

i can't stand it when tears flow once n again..
i tink this is bad..
occassionally tearing..
i tink its a gd form of stress relieve..

but now..
its like almost now n then..
n i hate myself for being that weak..
i tried to hold em bac..
but i can't..
n it suxz..

dere's no pt in telling any1..
dere's no sol..
in e end..
i noe..
its sumthing that i haf gotta face..
by myself..

will i be able to find back wad i lost..
will i be able to love wad i used to love..
will i be able to walk on this bumpy road which i fall every now n den n get hurt..
will i be able to hold on to e love..
will i be able to be who i used to be..

i m still trying..
thou i always question my heart..
is it true?..ni zhen de bu xiang fang qi ma..

hao la bloggy..jus being random..life hasn't been vvv happy nowadays..its affecting mi..maybe i shall stop all these shit..stop myself from affecting myself..yup..anyway i saw these words at sum1's blog..n i tink its v meaningful..so jus wanna share wif all.. " 人往往都是要等到失去后，才会懂得如何去珍惜。但往往在拥有时，又会遗忘珍惜的可贵 " it means ppl usually only learn how to treasure sumthing after he/she lose it..but when he/she own that thing..he/she forget e importance of treasuring once again..

haha hao la..end here le..n yup..take gd care every1 ! tml is alj.k vs qian xi de finals..i pray..*xingxin*..n yah..rmb..there are reasons to be sad..there mus be reasons to be happy too..yah..so..*smilez* =)

][.FEarless.][
][.lousy soul.][

][.i m jus a kid.][

][.i m jus a kid.][

haha bloggy..discovered that i haven been blogging for like days huh..haha actually everyday i on my com..i m tempted to blog..there's jus so much i wanna say..but i dunno why..i jus din haf e "energy" to blog..but today i mus..i promise..

anyway today its been a long time since i haf 1 after another de trngs..haha o yah..be4 i start on bball..mus tok abt studies..i tink i realli suxz..my hist lect test is bound to fail..i m lost in maths..lost in econs..lost in hist..lost in lit..lost in every sub..i dunno how m i going to survive for my mye..i noe i can't escape from it..n i will nv choose e jump down de way as a way out..i dun haf e courage..i dun wan e regrets..so i guess i wuld jus haf to wake up..buck up..pull up my socks..or else..face e music..i will try to get myself focused on my studies as soon season ends..nothing seems to matter more than bball now..

haha these few days haf been..hmm lots of things going thru my mind.."can wads lost be found again ?..i dunno..but i dun wanna give up..do i realli mean it ?..i asked myself again.." haha i dunno..i realli dunno..e feeling jus isn't e same as be4..i watched e videos n discovered jus how lousy i m..i can't play e game i hope i play..every game has became another day of disappointment day for myself..which shuld not be e way..yup..so been rather down..but whenever i train there..i find that i m enjoying e game that i love..i realli love trng dere thou i m always corrected on my mistakes..but e encouragements dere is more than enff to keep mi going on..thanks alj.k..thanks for letting mi enjoy e game which is giving mi stress unknowingly..thanks for letting mi wanna fight hard n go on whenever i feel that i suxz..

haha anyway..yup..abt today..had combine sch red selection..followed by trng bac in sch..followed by alj trng..hmm e 1st event of e day..thanks n sorry auntie joy..thanks for fighting hard..n yup hope ya knee will be ok..realli feel quite agrh when saw ya hurt ya knee..like damm it..haha all we wanted was to risk it again..all i wanted was to risk it all again..why mus this happen..damm it =p..anyway dun wanna tok much abt e selections..haha call it pride of wadever..jus wanted to risk it all..

den back to sch trng..haha stress..or rather..inner-self trying hard to fight..its not easy dere..its fun..at e same time stress..i dunno..haha maybe coz its e season n every1 is tired..haha go vj !..jia u ba..haha..alright..den today coach came to tok to mi..telling mi that he want to let mi "tuo tai huan gu once this season end"..haha at that split sec..i felt a gush of dunno wad e feeling overwhelming la..haha hafing to change my shooting..my lay up..my way of playing..haha its gonna be nice if i can make it..coach say 1 yr is more than enff..haha hmm wadever it is..i noe its going to be a tough period then..n i m ready to fight hard..as long as coach is willing to train mi..i m prepared..to change..haha hopefully for e better n not e worse..cz i suxz now..

den hmm went to alj trng..trust mi..i m tired le..jus cheng-ing n psycho-ing myself that i m not..n yah..fight hard..i dun realli mean fight la..but ya..jus train hard..hee anyway trng was a nice one..i found e kind of game that i enjoy once again..so shuang so shuang..i realli love it..e gan jue of it..haha..anyway sun is e finals le..thou i wun play..but i will support this team all e way de..*xingxin* haha jia u ba snrs ! hee fight hard ! its gonna be e last time we will be called alj.k le..so fight hard n leave a nice history for alj.k yeah !

hao la..end here le..i m tired..going to slp..tml after trng..i promise..i gotta pack my file n prepare to study..take gd care every1..byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.npo.][
][.haha.i get tired too.][
][.fight hard.][

][.happy soul.][

][.happy soul.][

disappointment gone..
in replacement..
i haf a whole bag of happiness..

ah..realli relieved..
everything zhong suan cum to a happy ending..
thanks heaven..

haha..hao la..thanks lots to all..i m feeling ok le..in fact gd..yup..jus wanna blog down n rmb this..jus now alj vs hongkah..den hmm qian xi vs home u..v interesting game..haha..

hao la..end here le..still got lots to do..n yah..went to dance concert ytr wif zhu tous n mei..was a great one ba..n i jus love being wif em.."star shines e brightest at ya darkest moments"..yesh..quite true to mi..jus like best friends who are there for u at ya darkest moments..

take gd care evey1 !..byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.npo.][
][.happy soul.][
][.heard of ya com wif olieve tml.][
][.waffle.][

][.pls tell mi it isn't so.][

][.pls tell mi it isn't so.][

guardian angel...
pls tell mi that it is an illusion..
pls tell mi that it isn't true..
i hate to think of you in that way..

n i nv wan to think of you in that way..
u'r image to mi is nv like this..

wadever u jus did jus hurts mi so..
thou it seems nothing much..
i can't help crying..
i m realli sorry..
but it jus hurts..
u may think that i m silly or crazy if u noe how hurt i feels now..

but i bet u wun noe..
cz u nv knew how much i respected u..
n jus how perfect u always was to mi..

haiz..
i hope this is jus an illusion..
a nightmare..
one which i will get over n done wif..
once i wake up from my lala land..
but it isn't n it jus hurts..

shughs..damm..
i pray..let mi forget abt all these..
pls..
as hard as i noe it is..
all i can is to remind myself of how perfect u was to mi..

][.FEarless.][
][.disappointed soul.][
][.npo.][

][.thoughts.][

][.thoughts.][

hey bloggy..gotta work to do..but i m feeling tired..so decided to blog instead..blog down a little abt my last wk..den i shall go rest le..

haha anyway last wk was my "meet up wif old pals wK"..haha met up wif jo,xueli,yongqing together wif janice la..went for dinner at pasta..den took neoprints..haha its always nice to meet up wif old friends..

den yah..on that same day..which is sat..i went to pray too..wif rong n moi..went guanyin temple wif rong n moi..den after that went thai temple wif moi n her family..haha its been a long time since i go temple n pray etc le..i realli prayed wif all my heart for..haha that one ne..jiu dun nd to say le ba..but yah..i pray..=)..

den hmm sun was another nice day..met up wif zhu tous men..went to airport de t2 de bk to study..but we din study much also..jiu bei gan zou le..haha den slack ard..after that i left wif wen..while fungi left wif jing..that moi got lesson so nv meet up wif us..haha went to alj mac to study while wen go her church..on e way dere..i listened to guang liang de yue ding..haha nice song..hmm den after that is alj vs home u de match..haha i realli v touched by e match..every single thing..i was realli praying hard..den at e last part i realli v touched..when i saw how happy every1 was..was so proud of em..hee n i will nv forget that moment when there's a "reaction for the first time"..haha e last time since i see e whole team so happy n hug each other is during nat finals 14/4/2005..haha i will nv forget that day..haha

hmm anyway yah..that was my weekend..realli been a nice one..being able to meet up wif em all..haha i miss em..esp "its all about us" ->zhu tous..haha den hmm today is mon..e 1st match of a div..vs acjc..haha yup yeah..won..cont to jia u ba vj! haha as for myself i gotta brace up n fight hard..fight well..fight smart..hee..haha hao la..been a long time since i get to play in a real match le..so say real de..a bit tired la..haha

hao la..shall end here le..wanna slp le..haha take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.zxor opn.][
][.foul in.][
][.fight hard.][

][.every moment is special.coz u will nv get to re-live it.cherish.][

][.every moment is special.coz u will nv get to re-live it.cherish.][

hey bloggy..i m blogging..again..haha feeling quite ok la..jus lazy to do my Arithmetic Progression hw..its getting mi all AP le..sianz..so decided to blog n slp..muhahaha

alright..anyway today's blog is to encourage my friends out there..esp those feeling down..jus wanna say jia u to all !!! like wad my blog title is today..every moment is special..coz u will nv get to re-live it..Forgetting e unhappy events and memories is important..
But whats even more important is to remember the happy moments..cherish every moment..

n yah..every moment is special..everybody is also special..a special individual who will find friends who realli appreciate u..so dun give in when ya heart wants to..cz sumday..u will meet ya right friends..i do appreciate u =)..realli do..

haha hao la..end here le..kinda of tired..take gd care every1 ! season is cuming le..so to all my team mates n friends out dere..drink more h2o n rest well ok..haha

..shugs..
miss u all..
not much..
but jus that v much..



][.FEarless.][
][.guardian angels.][

][.Determination.][

][.Determination.][

haha hiz bloggy..hmm today's blog ne..is v random de la =p..jus wanna blog down sum thoughts n feelings..

hee anyway..mon is such a long n tiring day..but nbm la..i survived it le..hee..yup..anyway i saw jojo n yongqing today !!! haha happy happy..train half way then caught them studying at e mpcc de library..haha we jus waved like sum crazy little kids..*opps or is it jus mi =p*..hee anyway it was great seeing em..miss em..haha

hmm wad else..hao la..jus wanna share wif all this quote regarding..

..Determination..
If your can't get through the mountain , try going around it..
If you can't go around it , try going over it..
If you can't go over it , ask yourself if getting over to the other side is all that important..
If it is , set your heart out to dig a tunnel through it.. =D

haha think its real nice n meaningful..so jus wanna share n hope all will get sum motivation or maybe feel inspired ? haha if u r not..also nbm la..take it as i blogging down for my own memos yeah..hee

haha yup..n yah !!! this wk is international friendship week...hee so jus wanna say hApPy fRieNdShiP weEk to all ! haha...special thanks to all my friends out there..all who haf crossed my path of life in one way or another..those whom i lost contact wif n those whom i still haf contacts wif..those whom i haf met yrs ago..n haf been by my sides all these yrs..those whom made mi awe at e way time dun matter as much at times..those whom believe in mi even when i cease to believe in myself..haha..thanks to all..especially to my special n best friends ! haha u noe who u r..

hao la..end here le..once again..happy friendship wk my friends ! treasure u..thanks for everything..byee..take care n jia u for ya wk !!!

][.FEarless.][
][.*smile*cz ya smile is e reason for many others to smile.][
][.taking for eg.mine.][
][.but there's no need to brave a smile when u r down.][

][.a friend in need.is a friend indeed.][

][.a friend in need.is a friend indeed.][

ytr had 2 on 2..
hmm thank you team mates- yaqi n moi..
haha street basketball had nv ever gave mi a nice ending..
maybe i shuld pray be4 i play e nxt one..
if there is any in e future..

haha n yah..i dunno why..but haf u ever tried calling onli that few ppl when u r down n feel that u need a friend..haha it was the first time i did that..i felt down n 4 ppl pop up in my mind..(it shuld be 5 de but ytr quarrelled wif 1..but nbm)..yah..anyway i called this 4 special ppl..n 2 "replied"..

..a friend in need.is a friend indeed..
wanna thank 2 special ppl..
they are..joy n wen..

thanks a million auntie joy..for all e encouragments..n by jus being there..
"Doesn't matter if i win or the colour of my skin.cuz the race is all about believing in yourself.i dream i can run like the wind and be strong when my heart wants to give in"
haha thanks a million..its more than words can say..=p i realli appreciate u..looking forward to our sandcastles =) haha..i will make e nicer one de la..no worries =p

n of cz wen..i wanna thank her more than any1..words cannot describe how touched i m by her..makes mi believe that true friendship realli exists..
when u jus nd sum1 there for u to lean on..jus a call n she is there..
when u nd sum1 to be dere wif u..she tries her best to be dere n she was dere wif u..
when u r tired n nd sum1 to acc u thur e sad nite..she is dere..
to share wif u e sorrows n bring you the laughters which washes away your pain..
she misses her bus n wait for her nxt jus to acc u a little more..
she makes exception..things that she usually dislikes..she made an exception jus to make u happy n cheer u up..
she acc u no matter how tired she is..
wad more can i ask for..thanks a million wen..thanks for accompanying mi thur my darkest moments all these 8+ yrs..i realli appreciate u..n jus like wad u say ytr.."wo shi zai shi ge hao ren"..haha yes..ni zhen de shi yi ge hao ren..er qie shi wo zhe yi shen nan de yong you de hao peng you..

haha n yah..as i always say..there r reasons to be sad..there mus be reasons to be happy too..i was sad..but i was happy too..happy over ? hafing such special friends..who wuld jus be there for u..n i finally noe how to use e small screen de cam le..haha how stupid can i be man..my own fone n i dunno how to use..nd auntie joy to teach =p haha yah..anyway i learnt how to use it le..jiu went ard taking wif ppl..haha such as shao ji..yaqi..haha of cz got auntie joy la..dun nd to say de.ppl teach mi how to use cam leh ;p den took wif cindy coach also..haha she ytr a bit not like coach like this..haha..den took wif lqjl too..haha n discovered she changed her fone to sony ericsson too =p

haha hao la..better end here n get down to my hw le..haven done any for goodness sake..take care every1! byee..n thanks to all..

][.FEarless.][
][.jus be dere for mi..will u..my guardian angel.][

][.song of my heart.][

][.song of my heart.][

was pondering wad song shuld i listen to..
browsing thur my windows media player..
wondering wad song shuld i click n listen to..

den there came this song..
this song is out to all those special people in my heart..
n e one person that matters e most..
u noe who u are..
doesn't matter for now..
doesn't matter later..
all i gonna do is make that come..
turn around..
there u are..
this is out to you from the bottom of my heart..
i wanna say one thing..thank you"

haha yup..n i tink its jus so nice..haha dun nd to switch songs le..haha now i m listening to it once again..e song that made mi teared..hee but now i m listening in quite a nice mood..cz its been quite a nice wk..yup..n this song ne..lots of memories..i miss em..

yup..anyway toking abt my wk..lets go in a backward n reverse gear order yeah..been tiring..i m so sick of maths..that i din bother doing it in e library today when i told myself i mus..sianz..i noe this is so bad..yah..but alright..i will jia u de..jus nd a break..this wk de wo..quite slack de..haiz..super tired man..whenever season is cuming or wadever..i jus can't help but tink abt it..n yah..my legs hurts..right knee is secreting more lime juice now n den..maybe is becoz i suan ppl too much le..n left leg..sianz..i tink i e ham n e string..

yup anyway..today had opt trng..played played..den ate prata by rong n trina n vk..den went for alj trng..omg..i waited for 55 for like 30mins..wait until wan to feng diao n wanted to take cab de..lucky van say dun..den n phew..i reached on time..so yah..sat dere..den that woman told van..so van asked abt it..i also dunno how to say..haha den later van told lqjl..den hmm yah..bei cindy coach suan abt my socks n my shoes pei my whole attire la..cz i was wearing vj pe n blue jersey shorts..exact colour of e shoes..den chatted wif lqjl a while regarding e legs..haha..den yah..trng starting le..it drizzle a little..den cindy coach say..lets go..all e adults go nat trng..den we (onli moi n me) supposed to go home to rest..yup..so now i m here at home..resting..icing my legs..

hmm wad else..its been a tiring wk..been laming my way in sch..trying to get rid of my tiredness..n suan-ing jan n ma tong n laming every1 i can find..yah..hmm wad else..trainings ? tons of endless work ? revision piling up ? spending time in e library be4 trngs ? after trng reach home slp ?..where is my life my..saw this bk in library today.."get a life"..haha i m not mouring abt my life..cz i love it..e way it is..but its tiring..but yup..jia u jia u every1 !

haha n yah..went to watch nat youth vs sum taiwan team..haha oo yah..be4 i cont..thanks auntie joy for e chocs..haha always haf food de =P yum yum..hee..yah..abt e match..hmm wad can i say..haha was telling auntie that its a mixture of feelings..relieved..at e same time a bit of pain la..haha jus a bit..n jus wanna tell sum1..jia u ! press on ! hee yah..u noe who u r ;p (i guess)

hmm n yah la..this is my wk..haha been nice..short..tiring..tml going to play 2 on 2..wif yaqi n moi..haha jia u le team mates ! hope tml will everything go smoothly..haha n best is can win la..but most impt is..no injuries..n enjoy e game =) hao la..end here le..take care every1 ! byee..hope i haf gd new to blog tml yeah ! =D

n yah..got things to say to sum..but lazy to msg..
to mei :
hope u still coping well ok..jia u ! anything msg mi..

to forever5:
miss u all..hope u all still going out for movie tml la..n enjoy it yeah..take care ! n yah..e song is our song zhu tous ! =)

to juniors :
jia u..dun be too sad..i also dunno what to say..yah..*sayang sayang*

~dun cry ah~
~i wun de~
~i will make sure i smile~
~n i will make sure i tell u gd news~
~i will try~

][.FEarless.][
][.zxor opn.][
][.i dunno how.i also dunno how =P.][
][.be my guardian angel, will u ?.][

][.wad a day.=).][

][.wad a day.=).][

haha hiz bloggy..hmm jus discovered that i haven been blogging for a wk..so today mus blog le..cannot isolate "u" =p..

haha anyway wanted to blog abt my wk de..but jus discovered that sumtimes when sumthings pass le..will be kinda of lazy n tired to blog abt it =p..hee so alright..i shall give a brief summary of e wk..n my day (today =p)

haha hmm my wk..i can onli say i tried to change..i mean i set my mind on focusing n trying to catch up wif my work..that i tink i became quite a" horrendous" person..haha so jus wanna say paiseh le sh..n yah..indeed its been a v draining wk..trying to catch up wif all my work esp maths..n discovered that i m still way way behind..n everytime i can onli tell myself..be like a tortise " it dun matter how slow u go..as long as u dun stop" + "wei zai hu de ren nu li"

haha yah..so its realli been a v tiring wk..that i over slept n almost went to e airport after alj trng that day..ooo n yah..shall blog abt today le..actually i shuld be at trng now de..but today's trng is cancelled due to e rain..kind of expected cz it was realli raining heavily jus now..n yah..hmm i realli like to say sumthings sumtimes is a blessing in disguise..cz i missed my 53 jus now..n after i missed e bus..i received e msg that today's trng is cancelled..so jus walk back home from e bus stop..haha felt so hmm dunno how to say..but feel that "blessing in disguise" is realli true at times ba..hee..

den wads nxt..mummy asked mi to pass an umbrella n her ez link card to her..so i went down e blk n saw e bus at e bus-stop n is approaching e bus stop mummy n gugu are at soon le..so i jus chiong-ed all e way..n lucky mi..i made it..haha i noe this is v childish..but it jus makes my day..haha got a kind of v happy for no reason de gan jue..maybe cz i ran in e rain ba..e gan jue realli v nice..haha jus that a bit cold =p

haha hao la..shall end here le..today is my super forgetful day too..i wrapped e present le..den discovered i nv put this in..nv put that in..haha n yah..i mus say i guess my fone bill for this mth will not be that high..cz my hp spoilt le ! n it need 2 wks more for repairations cz e spare parts not available yeah =(..so currently i m using my a bit siao de spare fone which receive msgs onli like a few hrs later..but mummy went to c if can sign for another spare fone for mi le..so hope she cum bac wif it la..hee byee every1 + tc ! gotta go rest n pia my lit , hist n maths assignment le..*faints*..

][.FEarless.][
][.npo.][
][.forgetful prezzie.][

][.wad a day.=).][