][.worried.][

][.worried.][

i always tell myself that i shuld not do things that will make myself regret..
i shuld not worry abt e future n shuld onli care abt e present..
but these few days i m feeling kinda of worried..

worried abt my o levels results..
i m shivering at e thought of it..
i can feel my tears gushing out any moment..

i m super scared..
i will not say i din work hard for my Os..
but neither wuld i say that i did my best for my Os..

worried cz i dun wanna leave vj for another environment..
cz i dun wanna disappoint all those that cared..
i m sum1 who cannot adapt to changes easily..
n i dunno wad will happen..
wad lay ahead for my future ?
i realli dunno..

all these complex feelings occured after i received an empty envelope from moe..n all those rumours in e air..i told auntie joy abt it..n she told mi to ignore these..cz they r rubbish..haha so i stopped thinking for a moment..but now i m tinking abt it again..i cannot focus on my life now..shugs..anyway thanks for e m&ms wow auntie joy =p hee thou it was meant to make mi fat ;p jkjk..n u all go celebration nv "invite" mi ;p humph..

feeling kinda of worried..den ytr so suay de..i was like a fool who "flew" down e table after back racer..n fell flat on my face n my knee hit e weights that was on e ground..e moment i fell..my mind blank..n i tasted blood..so i jus use my towel to wipe n wipe..n i discovered sumthing..everytime i use white colour towel..sumthing will happen..for eg. ytr n e time i fell off e slope at pula ubin..both time i used white towels to wrap ard my right leg..be it coincident or wad..i will nt use em again le..anyway my mind went blank..n i jus refused to get up..took em a hard time to get mi onto e bench..paiseh paiseh..

den after that i jus sat there n iced while they cont gym..den after that i limped my way to og bbq..i dun wanna missed it la..hmm..it wasn't realli fun..in fact it was not fun..but glad that simar n soefie was dere la..n thanks gu tou n lynn for e food ;p..hmm so came home ard 11 plus..min loong was nice to send mi sh n his friend,lesli home..n yah..mus thank lee kian also..for "piggy-backing" mi for a while..shall buy him chocs..cz i bet it was hard on him..xie le..n min loong also la..n e whole vj bball team..for helping mi take ice..fu-ing mi..etc la ..gan ji bu jing..

so due to e swollen lips n knee which suffered frm an impact that is kinda of hmm..i din train for both trng today..jus sat dere..for vj de..i jus helped to pass ball to denise n mel..den alj de..i jus spent my time trying to copy n colour yaqi de logo..yah..so now i m back home..bloggin..be4 i go n rest n read thru my lect notes..

hao la..go le..take gd care every1..anyway i m into another song now..its "xiao shi hou" by nan quan mama..its e song on my bloggy..listened to it carefully..its realli v meaningful..n i m feeling exactly like how this song goes..n butts jie..sorry..i was at e bbq ytr..so wasn't able to tok to ya..hope ya feeling better ok =D..n did ya changed ya hp no. ?..n take gd care la mei..+ every1 ! cya all..byee..

jus a meaningful story i came across jus now..its kinda of long..but read it if u dun mind..its nice..
][.Happiness On This Breath.][
Earnestness is the key. Unconditional willingness. All you have to do is pay attention, be honest, and follow through. Truth is discovered when you simply refuse to lie to yourself anymore. Love is discovered when you stop indulging in self centeredness, fear, and anger. You don't have to improve yourself; just sort through the contradictions. Your desire is to love and be loved, yet you use and hurt and alienate the ones you wanted to love the most. You want to be honest, but you find a million excuses for continuing the pretense, for self righteousness, for psychological defense. You want to be happy and at peace, yet you cling to competitive, erroneous, and hurtful views of things. Do you really want to be happy? Just pay attention and be kind, unconditionally kind, on this breath alone. Forget about the future. Just this breath. No matter what the circumstances, just be kind. Friend, lover, family member, someone who seems to hate you, someone you've never met on the street, your own soft animal body. Just be kind, in whatever way is appropriate. Everything else will work itself out, and you will begin to sense your own Pure Heart everywhere. How amazing. Very simple. Just be kind. Only on this breath. - Scott Morrison
Forget trying to have big compassionate thoughts. Be kind on this breath. Be kind to the one who breathes..

][.FEarless.][
][.habit.][
][.xiao shi hou.][