Children have neither past nor future;they enjoy the present, which very few of us do. ~Jean de la Bruyere~
Monday, June 18, 2007
][.i hope we can do it.][
today isn't realli productive..
but i feel realli fortunate..
thanks heaven..
thanks for blessing mi w such wonderful friends n family..
thanks for this life..
n jus as i was bloggin on 4ever5's blog..
sumthing struck mi..
i was tinking of e 5 of us adopting a kid together!
haha wen say ok le..
waiting for e other 3's reply nw..
i hope we can do it!
hao la..take gd care every1..byee!
][.10.fe.15.][
Sunday, June 17, 2007
][.xing fu ke yi hen jian dan.][
yooohooo! i m back from 30hrs famine camp! haha unbelieveable to most ( eg.wen)..but i made it! haha realli glad tt i went for this camp..found it quite meaningful de..like realli..u endure hunger..n u work..n play games..n we even went to play ball..haha e kind of gan jue which u hungry dao nt hungry..dao in actual fact..when u food was finally sent into my stomache once again after 30 hrs..it was kinda weird..n i found myself weird..cz i tot i wuld so love e food =P but alrite la..after tt i came hm n ate non-stop..like a pig =P..haha
but i realli tink we r realli fortunate le..$1.50 can onli buy us part of a meal or snacks..but it can provide a family of 5 w a meal..we truly take many things in our lives for granted..for eg. parental care, clean water, food, packet drinks etc..so many things we take em for granted..n when ppl out dere r trying to survive from hunger..we r here fretting over friendship problems etc..n tt made mi feel so guilty..n so i haf made sum decisions..haha smile ppl..u r a fortunate kid..cz right nw as i m bloggin..i haf access to internet..i haf a roof above my head..dere r still so many ppl out dere who dun haf what we haf..so realli..we r fortunate..n lets be thankful! =D..i m rather tired nw le..so this post is v messy..shall blog again abt e camp =P
my meal be4 e 30 hr fast =P yong tau foo at rp's foodcourt! haha n forget to mention..rp is realli big n nice =D haha
tt's our dinner, suppper, breakfast n lunch =P haha even packet drinks r allocated onli for meals..e onli time = water =D nw i learnt nt to drink so fast..cherish it man! haha o n yah..tt's my bangladesh flag! haha
haha my "family"..they r nice ppl man =P hee we r e manpower family!..haha finished our newspaper collection like be4 12..so slept at e void deck..hahaha n we collected lots..quite fun de =P
haha n that's 5/12 of vjc's basketball gals =P hee
muhahaha my 1st bite after 30 hrs = bk fish! haha it wasn't as nice as i tot it wuld be..maybe it's becoz my stomache rested too long..haha
haha ok..i dunno if this was e starting or ending..but i guess it was e start be4 30hrs ;p haha i took e countdown in video..so din post it up..n btw e hall was freezing cold =X hahan haha ok! tt's my logbook! n ta da! i m back hm..hm sweet hm..w an experience of a lifetime..i wuld nv forget this 2days..=D
hao la..end here le every1! take gd care of yaself..i shall blog abt this camp again sumday..meanwhile..rmb tt..u r v fortunate..treasure it! n i m gonna constantly remind myself tt too..=D
][.10.fe.15.][
Friday, June 15, 2007
][.unpredictable.][

Thursday, June 14, 2007
][.tui hou.][
be4 i start..jus a random comment..jay's songs can be so sad..=\
hmm aw today is a hmm day =P..
woke up late so went to kovan macs late..studied ard onli 3hrs..den left for trng w buddy..haha jus felt like gg la..i noe i nd to exercise le..n that's super true..i wanted to puke during e trng la..this is e 1st time ever tt i train dao wanna puke..can feel e fries at my gullet le..haha damm gross..but in e end din puke la..haha "magic" made mi feel slightly better..aw it was haha nt too bad? jus tt i tink my stamina n everything realli suxz le..can't even get a simple lan di in..=X..
after tt went for dinner w em..haha thou nt e usual gang..but this gang is realli funny too..haha den talked n talked den went t kovan cc dere which happened to haf sum games gg on den nw i m back hm..haha super guilty for all my doings today la..=X..
aw everything is ok n quite gd de..till i saw 2 person which i dunno why but my mind jus linked n tot of sumthings n sighs..e bus ride hm was..hmm i dunno..tired yet i can't slp..many many many things went thur my mind..lock n unlock my hp..asking myself shuld i or shuld i nt? listened to jay's songs..sighs..all so sad..but tui hou's lyrics struck mi this time..
wo zhi dao ni wo dou mei you cuo..
zhi shi wang le zher mer tui hou..
zhi shi fang shou hui bi jiao hao guo?..
these 3lines in particular struck mi..
i noe tt both of us are not in fault..or rather both of us are in fault..i noe tt i was too harsh..but..there's always a but..ppl always wanna protect themselves..i dun deny tt i m..n i noe tt for u..dats e same..u wuld also tink tt i m in fault..sighs jus as i tink u do..den..we jus refused to give in..i noe tt u wun give in de..nv ever..but this time round..wo ye hen bu xiang..actually many a times i was realli at e verge of giving in le..but thinking of sum things jus pulled mi back..haiz..den e last line..zhi shi fang shou hui bi jiao hao guo?..is it true?..i dunno..letting go of this friendship wuld be better for both of us?..maybe ba..our characters r v diff..u told mi tt..your character is rather similar to sum1..n hence maybe..sighs..
dere's jus too much things gg on in my mind nw..i hate this..it's not so easy to let go..i can self deceit no more..i wan this friendship bac..but i noe tt things wun be able to be back to wad i wan..e days when u hasn't changed..sighs..it's hard..e old u is gone..
hao la..take gd care every1!...bye..n sorry for all my rantings these days..
][.10.fe.15.][
][.status:das.][
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
][.i dun wanna run away.][
haha today's blog title v random..cz this line from "no promises" jus popped out while i was tinking of wad to type..=P
aw today was a stay hm studying day..hmm nt v productive..sighs..realli feel so sianz..but i went to forever5's bloggy n saw this.."before u noe, it will be over"..so yups..hao la..shall press on..or maybe get started !..
hmm aw was watching "dai ni kan shi jie" jus nw..o mian..i wanna go abroad n go travelling..haha we were watching it..den mummy suddenly say..if u got money i bet u will go all ard e world..den i asked her "ni bu hui meh?"..den she was like.."ya daddy dun like to take planes!"..=_=" no link you mei you..haha but aw..yah i wanna travel! thou i always say i m home sick..but a wk or so will be gd..haha it's jus different n i tink u realli learn while u travel isn't it =P..
o n yah..mummy made another comment tt made mi lol jus nw while we were watching tv..she said sumthing like => relationship are complicated..be it friendship or wadsoever..cz dere's jealousy etc..hmm i agree..it can be so complicated n yet so indispensible..sighs..
hao la..tt's my stay home day..spent eating n slacking n doing a little hist n maths..sighs..tml can't be like this!!..but once in a while..staying hm n listening to mummy n didi's funny comments can be quite entertaining =P..
alright..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..
][.10.fe.15.][
][.maybe it was realli my fault.][
][.sighs.][
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
][.lack of courage.][
today shuld be e most productive day out of my whole hols le..met mei early at kovan macs n studied! n i had my hotcakes n shaker fries! haha ytr was macs too..no wonder i m feeling darn fat now..haha we realli studied n haf appropriate breaks to talk n slack..haha i tot it was realli gd tt way..hee at least i integrated my noon away =P hee xie lo mei =P o yah..forget to mention tt i was taking pics of clouds while i was on 81 this morning..those commuters on e same bus as mi mus haf thought tt this gal is siao..but e sky was realli nice..realli..haha dun believe mi?..jus look up..whenever things go wrong..i jus look up..n it's always so comforting..be it e clouds, e stars, e sky, e moon..they r dere so quietly n so nice..always dere =] shall upload e pics sum other day..
hmm den wad else..nothing much la..macs is jus so freezing cold n i love sitting at tt corner..cz lots of memories..e times which i was pia-ing Amaths for O lvls w npo dere telling mi tt jus aim for your Os instead of prelims..n nw i m gg to face my As soon..e times which i wuld be dere from morning till night..e times which u wuld walk n cum find mi after ur work n go for supper n rush for e last bus hm..those were e days which u were so nice n nv throw temper like wad u do nw..sighs..
while i m doing my maths today..there were a few moments tt i wuld tink abt everything n wonder if i shuld..but i decided nt to..cz i m afraid of e cycle..realli..but llz gave mi e courage to msg u to at least c if dere's a chance to talk over it..but nw tt u r nt replying..i m actually quite..haha i dunno wads e word..i m a fatalistic person..wadever will be will be..i already dunno if i wan to anymore..
n tt's life..u will nt be as sensible n able to c things as clear as those tt are nt involved..haha so glad tt there's llz..cz dere's always sum1 to show mi tt i wun want things to go tt way =] haha..haf a gd trip llz! enjoy it! hee =D
hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..
][.10.fe.15.][
][.guardian angel.][
][.wuld u be here for mi?.][
Monday, June 11, 2007
][.thats e limit.][
i guess that was my limit.
for everything, there's always a limit.
a limit to one's tolerance n everything.
if dere was one.
that wuld be mine.
i m tired.
realli v tired of u taking things for granted.
taking everything tt i do for u so for granted.
not at e v least appreciative.
i noe tt i shuld nt be saying this.
cz friends are meant to help each another.
n i noe tt u do appreciate things.
but dere wasn't even a thank you.
it was so different as compared to be4.
e way u treat mi n e way u treat others.
a black face w mi n a changed n smiley face to others e nxt moment.
i noe tt u dun mean it tt way.
but why.
if u r upset abt sumthing or bu shuang abt sumthing.
jus rant it out n tell mi.
dun give mi tt face.
i haf my troubles too.
i m tired too.
do u noe tt moods can be spread.
rmb e monkey e-mail tt i gave u?
if u wear a smile n turn round e corner, u will find tt person smiling too.
n e smile will pass on.
so is ya black face.
u black face mi.
my black face will wear.
n i hate it when i affected those tt shuld nt be affected.
i dunno wad went wrong.
but u changed.
u realli did.
from sum1 tt was so understanding n caring for mi as a big sis.
to sum1 tt has mood swings tt r so hard to catch.
as time past.
n u stepped into e society, things changed.
i changed.
u changed.
n i guess i m realli tired le.
tired of hafing to salvage things.
u had hit on e raw spot.
u had reached my limit.
n i dun wanna do anything abt it le.
llz once told mi tt i wuld nt give up unless u tell mi to.
but nw.
i jus wanna say.
wo lei le.
dao le ji xian le.
xie xie ni cheng jing gei guo wo de mei hao hui yi.
hao la bloggy..today is quite a gd day de..apart from tt part above..yup..zhen de zhen de cmi le..na jiu zhe yang ba..wo zhen de hen lei le..bu xiang guan le..i noe if i dun care..u wun too..but this time round..i dun wanna give in no more..
yups..went sch early in e morning for lit remedial..haha o yah..be4 tt went to find fungi to get sum stuffs for ppl who dun freaking appreciate wad i do but thanks lots fungi! haha n e waiting time for buses can realli be damm long..i waited for like 20mins dao i wanna feng diao?..hmm so yah..after lit remedial..den went heartland mall..n guess who i saw dere? haha i m told nt to mention tt i saw her..so yah aw thanks lots for e gift! love it! =D hee..den went on to popular den kovan macs to meet mei2 n buddy to study..hmm was onli studying for like 2hrs plus..haha apart frm tt we got engaged in v interesting de conversations n food! wahaha..cannot be as distracted tml le =D haha o n yes..liying came to join us for a while..n photo taking is always lame..haha n buddy hope tt ur teeth is ok..tt guy tt hit u rite..when we walked to e bus stop he was hafing a tiff w his gf? haha dunno la..so u jiu forgive him for tt la hor..haha
after tt went to meet..yah..sum1 tt pushed mi to my limit..it's realli..haiz..i dunno wad to say..realli dunno..jiu suan le..on e bus ride i realli can't be bothered to do anything..like wads e pt..everything i do..it seems to be taken for granted..i m a human..nt a deity..i dun haf tt gd patience n temper..in fact my temper is v bad too..so jus let things be ba..cz i noe u wuld let things be too..maybe it wuld cool off..maybe it wun..but right nw..i m nt in a mood to do anything..far too tired..
yups..so alighted n changed bus to meet snail to pass her all e food =P..haha as usual de lag..jkjk..aw jus hope tt everything will be gd tml! i will pray for u de! hee =D jus hope tt she wuld rmb to msg mi rite after she wake up ba =D jia you n all e best lo! =D
yup n here i m back home bloggin about my day..i can't deny tt i m nt feeling gd nw..but similarly..it's jus pure stony..no tears..hao la..take gd care every1! byee..n rmb tt..dun take things tt ppl do for u for granted..a thank you wuld always be v easy n nice..realli..dun take it as thou they haf to oblige to help u or tell u sumthing..it's tiring..
][.10.fe.15.][
][.i guess.i m nth.][
Sunday, June 10, 2007
][.its over?.][
its over? i guess it is..
i finally asked wad i always wanted to..
jus wad m i to u?..
i knew tt it's gonna end up like this..
in this disastrous state..
but i can't take it anymore..
can't take e way things go anymore..
i m sorry..
dere's sum misunderstandings..
i dun meant it tt i dun wan u to find mi..
i wanna be dere for u too..but i jus can't take it when u seems to take it so for granted..
i dun mind u throwing ya temper..
seriously dun mind..
but nt in dat way my friend..
hmm..i guess it's over..jus take care of yaself n thanks for all e wonderful memories tt u had given mi over e yr..i noe tt i can't let go..but..i dunno wad to do nw..jus take care..
][.10.fe.15.][
][.status: failure.][
][.keep em to yaself.][
haha jus finished watching e channel u de 9pm movie..haha n wu yan zu is shuai n e show damm lame la..haha make mi lol n lol..haha..but that's nt e reason tt i wanna blog abt..i wanna rant out everything..yah..quite pek che abt sum stuffs de..so e below ranting is jus for mi to fa xie..ignore it..=)
alright..i jus typed out a whole chunk of unhappiness..but it's too uncivilised n hence i haf decided to change a way tt i m gg to post..yup..n i mus apologise in advance..cz this post is realli n purely meant for mi to vent my anger..so pls ignore e senseless rantings =)
jus wanna shout out loud to every1 out dere..
pls dun criticise any1 jus as u wish..
especially when u haf no idea e efforts tt ppl put in..
get mi?
criticising is always easy..
putting ppl down is always easy..
but if u dunno a single shit abt dat person..
den keep all ya criticism to yaself!! n shut e hell up!!
pls..every1 haf parents!
putting em down wuld hurt their parents too..
hai..sorry n ignore my senseless n rude ranting..it's jus..it's jus anger..it's jus haha anger..alright..feeling so much better now..haha thanks buddy n thanks snail..thanks buddy for listening to my rants..n snail for entertaining mi by denying e fact tt my dp was realli taken by mi =P..
hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..
][.10.fe.15.][
][.guardian angel.][
][.i wanna tok to u.][
][.tired.][
today is a super tiring day..
mentally n physically..
tml will be a brand new day..
n tml i haf t0 start my engine at full blast le..
can't slack n joke ard anymore..
aw..looking forward to nxt sun n dinner w buddy they all..haha
jia you buddy!
hao la..super moodless nw..take gd care every1! byee..
jus wad the hell m i to u?..
stop treating mi tt way will u?..
it suckz..
i m tired..
][.10.fe.15.][
][.status: stone.][
Saturday, June 09, 2007
][.e smile on ya face.][
][.let go?.][
Friday, June 08, 2007
][.mao dun.][
Thursday, June 07, 2007
][.what am i waiting for?.][

Wednesday, June 06, 2007
][.sumthings jus can't be changed.][
Grabbing a leopard and tearing off it's skin does not change the fact that it once had spots.
Deflating the puffer fish doesn't mean that it did not had poison to begin with.
Having memories do not change the fact that you had some bad ones among all the precarious ones.
Losing yourself do not change the fact that you won't disappear,no matter how hard you tried.
Switching off your handphone do not mean that you will be switched off from the world.
Being pretty on the outside doesn't change your bones.
Having a sunrise the next day does not necessary mean that it will be a new day.
Having a boyfriend/girlfriend does not change the fact that you do not have the world.
Being clear of your work does not gurantee you a chance of anything.
Having all the riches in the world doesn't change or cure social ills.
Being yourself doesn't change the fact that underneath it all,there's still a facade.
Having a crush forever doesn't change the fact that he might not have even noticed you.
Some things cannot be changed, or perhaps, maybe all things can't be changed.Maybe.
all e above is taken from forever5's blog from jing's post..i tot it was realli true..especially e one tt i highlighted in orange..many a times i want to off my hp n shut myself from e world..escape from everything..everything..
so fast..it's e june hols again..n i haf yet to get into e studying mode yet..went to llz's place for sum vectors, durians n cookies n laughters..haha jkjk..did sum maths la..maths can be so fun when u noe how to do it =P..but after e 1st tutorial..it's nt fun le =P hee..aw thanks llz for sparing mi e afternoon!..
haha i m listening to dou yu (the outsiders) songs nw..went to dig out my burned cd..due to llz n ytr's k-box influence..hmm e songs are so sad..n so..hmm soothing..haha i dunno..n i suddenly recall abt last yr's june hols..whr every morning was spent at kovan macs w e hotcakes n e studying n laughters for e rest of e day..e days when employer gone mad while studying n wuld draw on e balloons..e days when we were so cold tt we wuld shift to e cc instead..n kovan macs..e days where i wuld meet npo dere to haf maths tuition n which she wuld encourage mi n try to ease my fears..e days tt i wuld be at kovan den go to harbourfront to study..those were e days..suddenly everything seems to haf disappear..those days will no longer be dere..nw there's no companion to pei mi go n study cz every1 is simply too busy w work..n nw dere wuld be no npo to teach mi maths..n suddenly..everything seems so empty..or rather..every1 has grew n left..n soon it will be mi..maybe..
haha ok..ignore mi..it's e music n e june hols..haha cz last yr's june hols were e best days of my life of e whole j1 life ba..e days which i din got into combine n played 4 hm u..e days which u wuld cum down to support..even if u were alone..but nw u wun..cz work had simply tire u out like mad..tt sumtimes u dun even haf e energy to reply my msgs..e days which our friendship was still gd n u came down to support e 1st game which we lost by 1pts..e days which coaches came down to watch our game..e day which npo gave mi e bookmark to press on..e days which we wuld go for supper n rush for our last bus..e days which u wuld make sure i get on e bus be4 u got on yours..e days that we spent walking n talking..tt day which u all came down..employer w e brownies..ah rum..da 1031..n e whole family..to support e game..those were e days..e darkest period of my life yet lit up due to e special ppl ard..
n nw it's e same june hols..e same youth cup..but everything is so diff..it's so..empty..n i noe n m aware tt things wuld nv be e same..so..jus cherish this v moment..enjoy tt moment..cz it's so special..n u will nv be able to experience another moment like that..nv..every moment is a special one..remember that..
][.10.fe.15.][
][.would u be here for mi like be4?.][
][.fun times.][
haha hao la..so here we go..my nice thailand trip =D o..n thailand..haha it always bring back so many diff memories..sum so wonderful n sum so bad tt i dun wanna recall but u can't..things can't be changed..sumthings even thou u tries so hard to erase it..it's still dere..haha ok..nbm abt tt..lets jus blog down sum moments of this trip ba =D
o n yah..that is yaqi's special udon bowl! its unique i tot..it's slanted =P haha
e nice jap dinner tt we had after shopping at mbk! haha forgot to mention tt we had DQ n dunkin doughnuts while we were shopping too =P fei si le =x
the beautiful coral island! =D (it's ard 45mins speedboat ride from pattaya) hee
haha e guan yin fishes that wuld onli be near e guan yin temple by e river! notice e white 1? it's e emperor!
e transversites show tt we went for n tt i fell asleep after a while X) haha e previous one was better n more exciting la =P hahahaha my wonderful n super funny room-mates =P li sian n xiao yuan !
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
][.take care.][
spent e past few hrs trying to save as many no. as i can into my hp..
thanks to e clever hp which was down on a software prob n me tinking tt it's e sim..
ha..n yup when i got it bac today..it's 0 contacts on my hp..how wonderful..
but nevertheless..i misses it..n realli glad to haf it bac!
hee aw today is a gd day! thanks llz for MaC..haha n e babies photos..o mian..wad happened =P haha jkjk..jus tt it was better in e past..*opps*..aw thanks for today! haha
n hmm learnt sumthing..when u go out w older ppl..they will tell u e same thing =P -"i pay la..nxt time u work le u zai pay"..haha 2 diff person in 2 days..=P
after tt went to get my hp den bac to loyang pt for dinner w mummy..haha it was gd..been quite long since i get to spend time w mummy like this le..cz ah di got her attention most of e time *bleah*..
haha n yah..off to thailand tml! haha soo..jus wanna say..take gd care every1! take gd care of yaself n every1 ard u! haha n my ke lian de blog..take gd care of yaself ba =P
hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! nxt post wuld be after 4/6/07 =D cya! byee..
][.10.fe.15.][
][.u make mi smile.][
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
][.Would you be there.][
this is a song from mars vs venus..i love it..so yups..jus wanna blog it down..
If I were blue would u be there for me?
And whisper in my ear that's ok..
Would u stand by me?
Let me hold you tight and say you love me one more time..
If I feel good..would u slow dance with me?
And touch my lips with tender loving care..
Would you die for me?
Would you run with me?
And never look back..
# Would you be there to love to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you swear that you would always be the one to take my breathe away?
#
Would you be there?...
n e song goes on..i like it..e tune..actually there's lots of redwan ali song's on channel8 drama tt i like..but it's jus tt there's no chance to haf e song..hope he haf a cd sum day la..haha
alright..end here le..take gd care every1!..byee..
][.10.fe.15.][
][.i wuld be dere.][
][.simple.][
ours will be a lifetime story.
i love that line.
simple n sweet. =)
][.FEarless.][
][.4ever5 vie!.][
][.dere's no reverse gear.][
i haf nv told any1 this..
but today i finally told sum1 how i felt..
right from that v moment till now..
e feeling suxz..
e turmoil gg on within mi..
e guilt..
e anger..
e disappointment..
every single thing jus suxz..
it's a beautiful ending for all..
but till a certain extent..
dere's also a tinch of pain for mi..
amidst this beautiful memory..
dere wuld always attached this little pain tt no1 wuld noes..
][.FEarless.][
][.status: emo-ing.][
Sunday, May 27, 2007
][.back to reality.][
we all hate to be back to reality
but we all have to.
fri was great
sat was ok.
my hp is down
n so m i.
nt being able to send n receive msgs
detaching myself from e world for a moment or so.
however, it worried mi too
is dere sum1 looking for mi now?
cz i hate it when ppl dun reply to msg after a long time
so i dun wanna do tt to others.
i hate waiting n anticipating for an ans
in short - i jus hate waiting.
hp is gg to e repairman today
hope it gets well asap.
today is gg to be another long day ahead
jus gotta face it no matter i like it or not.
after tt.
dere wuld be endless work facing n waiting for mi.
i swear i hate em
but jus haf to do it n love it.
n as i was scrolling down e phone bk
i realised tt those no. tt shuld be stored r already in my mind.
how nice wuld it be if e world wuld onli revolve ard those ppl whose no. r stored in ur mind
things being so simple n nice.
but i know it's impossible.
so.
wake up felicia.
end here le..take care every1! byee..
][.FEarless.][
][.guardian angel.][
][.take mi away.][