][.thats e limit.][

][.thats e limit.][

i guess that was my limit.
for everything, there's always a limit.
a limit to one's tolerance n everything.
if dere was one.
that wuld be mine.

i m tired.
realli v tired of u taking things for granted.
taking everything tt i do for u so for granted.
not at e v least appreciative.
i noe tt i shuld nt be saying this.
cz friends are meant to help each another.
n i noe tt u do appreciate things.
but dere wasn't even a thank you.
it was so different as compared to be4.

e way u treat mi n e way u treat others.
a black face w mi n a changed n smiley face to others e nxt moment.
i noe tt u dun mean it tt way.
but why.
if u r upset abt sumthing or bu shuang abt sumthing.
jus rant it out n tell mi.
dun give mi tt face.
i haf my troubles too.
i m tired too.
do u noe tt moods can be spread.
rmb e monkey e-mail tt i gave u?
if u wear a smile n turn round e corner, u will find tt person smiling too.
n e smile will pass on.
so is ya black face.
u black face mi.
my black face will wear.
n i hate it when i affected those tt shuld nt be affected.

i dunno wad went wrong.
but u changed.
u realli did.
from sum1 tt was so understanding n caring for mi as a big sis.
to sum1 tt has mood swings tt r so hard to catch.

as time past.
n u stepped into e society, things changed.
i changed.
u changed.
n i guess i m realli tired le.

tired of hafing to salvage things.
u had hit on e raw spot.
u had reached my limit.
n i dun wanna do anything abt it le.
llz once told mi tt i wuld nt give up unless u tell mi to.

but nw.
i jus wanna say.
wo lei le.
dao le ji xian le.
xie xie ni cheng jing gei guo wo de mei hao hui yi.

hao la bloggy..today is quite a gd day de..apart from tt part above..yup..zhen de zhen de cmi le..na jiu zhe yang ba..wo zhen de hen lei le..bu xiang guan le..i noe if i dun care..u wun too..but this time round..i dun wanna give in no more..

yups..went sch early in e morning for lit remedial..haha o yah..be4 tt went to find fungi to get sum stuffs for ppl who dun freaking appreciate wad i do but thanks lots fungi! haha n e waiting time for buses can realli be damm long..i waited for like 20mins dao i wanna feng diao?..hmm so yah..after lit remedial..den went heartland mall..n guess who i saw dere? haha i m told nt to mention tt i saw her..so yah aw thanks lots for e gift! love it! =D hee..den went on to popular den kovan macs to meet mei2 n buddy to study..hmm was onli studying for like 2hrs plus..haha apart frm tt we got engaged in v interesting de conversations n food! wahaha..cannot be as distracted tml le =D haha o n yes..liying came to join us for a while..n photo taking is always lame..haha n buddy hope tt ur teeth is ok..tt guy tt hit u rite..when we walked to e bus stop he was hafing a tiff w his gf? haha dunno la..so u jiu forgive him for tt la hor..haha

after tt went to meet..yah..sum1 tt pushed mi to my limit..it's realli..haiz..i dunno wad to say..realli dunno..jiu suan le..on e bus ride i realli can't be bothered to do anything..like wads e pt..everything i do..it seems to be taken for granted..i m a human..nt a deity..i dun haf tt gd patience n temper..in fact my temper is v bad too..so jus let things be ba..cz i noe u wuld let things be too..maybe it wuld cool off..maybe it wun..but right nw..i m nt in a mood to do anything..far too tired..

yups..so alighted n changed bus to meet snail to pass her all e food =P..haha as usual de lag..jkjk..aw jus hope tt everything will be gd tml! i will pray for u de! hee =D jus hope tt she wuld rmb to msg mi rite after she wake up ba =D jia you n all e best lo! =D

yup n here i m back home bloggin about my day..i can't deny tt i m nt feeling gd nw..but similarly..it's jus pure stony..no tears..hao la..take gd care every1! byee..n rmb tt..dun take things tt ppl do for u for granted..a thank you wuld always be v easy n nice..realli..dun take it as thou they haf to oblige to help u or tell u sumthing..it's tiring..

][.10.fe.15.][
][.i guess.i m nth.][

][.its over?.][

][.its over?.][

its over? i guess it is..
i finally asked wad i always wanted to..
jus wad m i to u?..
i knew tt it's gonna end up like this..
in this disastrous state..
but i can't take it anymore..
can't take e way things go anymore..

i m sorry..
dere's sum misunderstandings..
i dun meant it tt i dun wan u to find mi..
i wanna be dere for u too..but i jus can't take it when u seems to take it so for granted..
i dun mind u throwing ya temper..
seriously dun mind..
but nt in dat way my friend..

hmm..i guess it's over..jus take care of yaself n thanks for all e wonderful memories tt u had given mi over e yr..i noe tt i can't let go..but..i dunno wad to do nw..jus take care..

][.10.fe.15.][
][.status: failure.][

][.keep em to yaself.][

][.keep em to yaself.][

haha jus finished watching e channel u de 9pm movie..haha n wu yan zu is shuai n e show damm lame la..haha make mi lol n lol..haha..but that's nt e reason tt i wanna blog abt..i wanna rant out everything..yah..quite pek che abt sum stuffs de..so e below ranting is jus for mi to fa xie..ignore it..=)

alright..i jus typed out a whole chunk of unhappiness..but it's too uncivilised n hence i haf decided to change a way tt i m gg to post..yup..n i mus apologise in advance..cz this post is realli n purely meant for mi to vent my anger..so pls ignore e senseless rantings =)

jus wanna shout out loud to every1 out dere..
pls dun criticise any1 jus as u wish..
especially when u haf no idea e efforts tt ppl put in..
get mi?
criticising is always easy..
putting ppl down is always easy..
but if u dunno a single shit abt dat person..
den keep all ya criticism to yaself!! n shut e hell up!!
pls..every1 haf parents!
putting em down wuld hurt their parents too..

hai..sorry n ignore my senseless n rude ranting..it's jus..it's jus anger..it's jus haha anger..alright..feeling so much better now..haha thanks buddy n thanks snail..thanks buddy for listening to my rants..n snail for entertaining mi by denying e fact tt my dp was realli taken by mi =P..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.10.fe.15.][
][.guardian angel.][
][.i wanna tok to u.][

][.tired.][

][.tired.][

today is a super tiring day..
mentally n physically..
tml will be a brand new day..
n tml i haf t0 start my engine at full blast le..
can't slack n joke ard anymore..

aw..looking forward to nxt sun n dinner w buddy they all..haha
jia you buddy!

hao la..super moodless nw..take gd care every1! byee..

jus wad the hell m i to u?..
stop treating mi tt way will u?..
it suckz..
i m tired..

][.10.fe.15.][
][.status: stone.][

][.e smile on ya face.][

][.e smile on ya face.][

ooo hooo...another day of e hols past with mi doing nth productive..how wonderful..but nbm..today is nt too bad..slept like a pig woke up for breakfast n cont slping den went to dover n make e poms poms..haha thanks matong for asking us dere..it does has therapeutic effect if that's how u spell it..but yah..haha it's quite fun de..n haha mrt rides can be super fast..like less than an hr u wuld be at e other side of e country le..it's either e train is fast..or s'pore is small..n i tink its both..but nbm i like it tt way..hahaha

after making e cute stuffs..went to tm to meet em..o yeah..haha watched man in white n bu shi v funny la..jus super funny n lame onli ma =P haha..den dinner n our fav ice kachang..hahaha n i m feeling darn fat nw..shugs..it's always fun hafing em ard..hahaha take gd care huh u pigs! n stop saying tt i m e fattest lo..thou i realli m la =X ( i nd to go diet le!) hahaha

n nw i m bac hm..refusal to do anything..cz darn tired le..ahahha yups..ok..take gd care every1 n thanks for this wonderful day! nite..=D

wad m i to u?..

i m sick n tired of all these..

human feelings can't be manipulated..

dun tug n let go n tug n let go..

i can't take ya repeated processes anymore..

it's tiring my friend..

][.10.fe.15.][
][.let go?.][

][.mao dun.][

][.mao dun.][

mao dun de xin ling..

fan xing de xing shi..

haha xiang bi zhe jiu shi suo wei de ren sheng ba..

mei ge ren dou you zhi ji de fan nao..

mei you ban fa hen liang shui de fan nao bi jiao da..

suo yi..jiu jian qiang de zhi ji cheng dan ba =)

haha ignore my rantings..sumtimes i feel v bad for ranting on n on..cz i rmb sum1 once told mi tt..every1 got their own problems..so dun amplify yours..haha sumthing like tt la..but blog..pls pardon mi..i m sorry..haha o aw..those 2 pics are taken by mi today..kinda love e 2nd one =D haha n e 1st one..spot e diff ba =P

aw went to study at e airport w concourse kids today..hmm nt too bad..wasn't realli productive..but at least i din waste my day nua-ing away again la..haha..den took mrt w matong..haha hmm..n this is life..every1 seems to go thur e same things at e diff stages of life..it's jus so..haha..life..u jus gotta move on..but its always easier said than done la..at least that's e case for mi..haha constantly telling myself tt i haf gotta move on..tt i shuld nt be bothered so much by certain things..tt certain things no longer matter as much to mi..n that i haf grew up..but haha..in e end..all this is jus a bluff..i cant..at least i noe tt i m not moving on..=X

after tt met liying n went to watch e games..haha went to support kem! jia you! haha n hai..lucky got liying pei wo..if nt sure sianz si diao de..lots of things ran thur my mind during e whole night..haha time flies..things change..ppl grow..maybe sum things are meant to be..

haha hao la..sorry for emo-ing..i noe i m a lucky kid le..aw hmm off i go..maybe to my devil beside you to relax n get my mind of things..haha take gd care every1! byee..

][.10.fe.15.][

][.jian qiang de li you zhi shi zhi ji bian zhi ji.][

][.what am i waiting for?.][

][.what am i waiting for?.][

watched devil beside you n nua my day away while trying to dom..

nbm tml i m gg out to study..

can't cope at hm to study..

hmm aw..while i was walking w my new pair of slippers tt used to hurt but hurted no more..i tot of this..

after hurting u for a period of time..e thing tt hurts u wuld no longer hurts..cz u r numbed..

hmm think abt it ba..=)

sumtimes i do wonder..

wad m i waiting for?

waiting for things to be back to wad it used to be?

it's imposible..

n hence i hate waiting..

cz..it's like waiting for e impossible..

dere's no backspace in life..

it's time to move on..

][.10.fe.15.][

][.status: nostalgia.pain.][

][.sumthings jus can't be changed.][

][.sumthings jus can't be changed.][

Grabbing a leopard and tearing off it's skin does not change the fact that it once had spots.

Deflating the puffer fish doesn't mean that it did not had poison to begin with.

Having memories do not change the fact that you had some bad ones among all the precarious ones.

Losing yourself do not change the fact that you won't disappear,no matter how hard you tried.

Switching off your handphone do not mean that you will be switched off from the world.

Being pretty on the outside doesn't change your bones.

Having a sunrise the next day does not necessary mean that it will be a new day.

Having a boyfriend/girlfriend does not change the fact that you do not have the world.

Being clear of your work does not gurantee you a chance of anything.

Having all the riches in the world doesn't change or cure social ills.

Being yourself doesn't change the fact that underneath it all,there's still a facade.

Having a crush forever doesn't change the fact that he might not have even noticed you.

Some things cannot be changed, or perhaps, maybe all things can't be changed.Maybe.

all e above is taken from forever5's blog from jing's post..i tot it was realli true..especially e one tt i highlighted in orange..many a times i want to off my hp n shut myself from e world..escape from everything..everything..

so fast..it's e june hols again..n i haf yet to get into e studying mode yet..went to llz's place for sum vectors, durians n cookies n laughters..haha jkjk..did sum maths la..maths can be so fun when u noe how to do it =P..but after e 1st tutorial..it's nt fun le =P hee..aw thanks llz for sparing mi e afternoon!..

haha i m listening to dou yu (the outsiders) songs nw..went to dig out my burned cd..due to llz n ytr's k-box influence..hmm e songs are so sad..n so..hmm soothing..haha i dunno..n i suddenly recall abt last yr's june hols..whr every morning was spent at kovan macs w e hotcakes n e studying n laughters for e rest of e day..e days when employer gone mad while studying n wuld draw on e balloons..e days when we were so cold tt we wuld shift to e cc instead..n kovan macs..e days where i wuld meet npo dere to haf maths tuition n which she wuld encourage mi n try to ease my fears..e days tt i wuld be at kovan den go to harbourfront to study..those were e days..suddenly everything seems to haf disappear..those days will no longer be dere..nw there's no companion to pei mi go n study cz every1 is simply too busy w work..n nw dere wuld be no npo to teach mi maths..n suddenly..everything seems so empty..or rather..every1 has grew n left..n soon it will be mi..maybe..

haha ok..ignore mi..it's e music n e june hols..haha cz last yr's june hols were e best days of my life of e whole j1 life ba..e days which i din got into combine n played 4 hm u..e days which u wuld cum down to support..even if u were alone..but nw u wun..cz work had simply tire u out like mad..tt sumtimes u dun even haf e energy to reply my msgs..e days which our friendship was still gd n u came down to support e 1st game which we lost by 1pts..e days which coaches came down to watch our game..e day which npo gave mi e bookmark to press on..e days which we wuld go for supper n rush for our last bus..e days which u wuld make sure i get on e bus be4 u got on yours..e days that we spent walking n talking..tt day which u all came down..employer w e brownies..ah rum..da 1031..n e whole family..to support e game..those were e days..e darkest period of my life yet lit up due to e special ppl ard..

n nw it's e same june hols..e same youth cup..but everything is so diff..it's so..empty..n i noe n m aware tt things wuld nv be e same..so..jus cherish this v moment..enjoy tt moment..cz it's so special..n u will nv be able to experience another moment like that..nv..every moment is a special one..remember that..

][.10.fe.15.][
][.would u be here for mi like be4?.][

][.fun times.][

][.fun times.][

been quite sum time since i blogged..haha yeah i m back frm thailand! wanted so much to blog abt it ytr..but was too tired to..but i shall blog abt it today w pics..cz i always believe tt pics speak more than words =D haha so lame..but nbm..hmm n yup..up till today..i truly played n enjoyed my hols without starting on my work..n tt's v super bad..but yeah..after today..felicia..u gotta study ! XP

haha hao la..so here we go..my nice thailand trip =D o..n thailand..haha it always bring back so many diff memories..sum so wonderful n sum so bad tt i dun wanna recall but u can't..things can't be changed..sumthings even thou u tries so hard to erase it..it's still dere..haha ok..nbm abt tt..lets jus blog down sum moments of this trip ba =D

haha ok..these pics are uploaded randomly..but..haha all for my memories sake..so hope u dun mind la =D thanks !

e sunset tt we saw on e flight while we returned! o mian it was so so so nice la...e sky..but as i was nt sitting by e window..this pic was taken by e uncle which i asked for a favour from..haha n during e last 10 mins of e flight..we got e view on e screen infront of us that is exactly similar to e pilots la..super cool..hee =D n with this i mark e end to my trip! haha

haha n e clorets lover here..found sum clorets gums dere =P

o n yah..that is yaqi's special udon bowl! its unique i tot..it's slanted =P haha

liying n me at e hotel be4 cuming bac to s'pore! n e nice nice mickey mouse postcard =P

e nice jap dinner tt we had after shopping at mbk! haha forgot to mention tt we had DQ n dunkin doughnuts while we were shopping too =P fei si le =x

us with our cheap n nice DQ! haha but onli managed to capture liying's la =P haha

dunkin dounuts n nice nice drink from dere! haha =D n our beloved liying posing for tt pic =P

my 15baht crunchy strawberry at DQ! so yummy n nice =D

e roadside sotong w e sauces!! o m g my favourite! n e best thing is..it's onli 10baht! why s'pore dun haf?! =P

e clever chimp that took a bottle of oishi drink from e tourist n opened it n drank it like a human la =P refused to share sum w e one beside it till e keeper took away n let e other haf sum =P

e clever elephants that we saw at e cultural village! this one in e pic is bowling! while others danced, draw, played basketball, soccer, massage for ppl, ride bicycle etc...=D haha

e speedboat ride to coral island ! =D e breeze was great! hah

nice pic taken by daisy =] i love e background..e sky! o yah..tt's yayun n van =D
li sian, sheryl (nut) n me =P
yaqi n me =P look at my legs!! that's how crystal clear e sea at coral island is X)

the beautiful coral island! =D (it's ard 45mins speedboat ride from pattaya) hee

haha e uncle at dreamworld making my delicious banana+chocs+pork floss creep! =D

liying n me n e big big 15baht candy floss at dreamworld! hahawahaha we r so not bullying van! =P

haha e guan yin fishes that wuld onli be near e guan yin temple by e river! notice e white 1? it's e emperor!
e transversites show tt we went for n tt i fell asleep after a while X) haha e previous one was better n more exciting la =P haha

haha my wonderful n super funny room-mates =P li sian n xiao yuan !

haha n yups..that's sum pics tt i took randomly during e trip la..hee hmm another memory tt i wuld recall now and then..or at least when i m bac in thailand for another trip once again =P

haha n yup..today went out for sph outing for e whole day at k-box..den went for dinner! woohoo..i m such a slacker..hao la..v super tired le..take gd care every1! byee..n sorry jing =! haha

][.10.fe.15.][

][.wo xiang wo zhen de zhang da le.][

][.take care.][

][.take care.][

spent e past few hrs trying to save as many no. as i can into my hp..
thanks to e clever hp which was down on a software prob n me tinking tt it's e sim..
ha..n yup when i got it bac today..it's 0 contacts on my hp..how wonderful..
but nevertheless..i misses it..n realli glad to haf it bac!

hee aw today is a gd day! thanks llz for MaC..haha n e babies photos..o mian..wad happened =P haha jkjk..jus tt it was better in e past..*opps*..aw thanks for today! haha
n hmm learnt sumthing..when u go out w older ppl..they will tell u e same thing =P -"i pay la..nxt time u work le u zai pay"..haha 2 diff person in 2 days..=P

after tt went to get my hp den bac to loyang pt for dinner w mummy..haha it was gd..been quite long since i get to spend time w mummy like this le..cz ah di got her attention most of e time *bleah*..

haha n yah..off to thailand tml! haha soo..jus wanna say..take gd care every1! take gd care of yaself n every1 ard u! haha n my ke lian de blog..take gd care of yaself ba =P

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! nxt post wuld be after 4/6/07 =D cya! byee..


][.10.fe.15.][
][.u make mi smile.][

][.Would you be there.][

][.Would you be there.][

this is a song from mars vs venus..i love it..so yups..jus wanna blog it down..

If I were blue would u be there for me?
And whisper in my ear that's ok..
Would u stand by me?
Let me hold you tight and say you love me one more time..

If I feel good..would u slow dance with me?
And touch my lips with tender loving care..
Would you die for me?
Would you run with me?
And never look back..

# Would you be there to love to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you swear that you would always be the one to take my breathe away?
#
Would you be there?...

n e song goes on..i like it..e tune..actually there's lots of redwan ali song's on channel8 drama tt i like..but it's jus tt there's no chance to haf e song..hope he haf a cd sum day la..haha

alright..end here le..take gd care every1!..byee..

][.10.fe.15.][
][.i wuld be dere.][

][.simple.][

][.simple.][

ours will be a lifetime story.

i love that line.
simple n sweet. =)

][.FEarless.][
][.4ever5 vie!.][

][.dere's no reverse gear.][

][.dere's no reverse gear.][

i haf nv told any1 this..
but today i finally told sum1 how i felt..
right from that v moment till now..

e feeling suxz..
e turmoil gg on within mi..
e guilt..
e anger..
e disappointment..

every single thing jus suxz..
it's a beautiful ending for all..
but till a certain extent..
dere's also a tinch of pain for mi..

amidst this beautiful memory..
dere wuld always attached this little pain tt no1 wuld noes..

][.FEarless.][
][.status: emo-ing.][

][.back to reality.][

][.back to reality.][

we all hate to be back to reality
but we all have to.

fri was great
sat was ok.

my hp is down
n so m i.

nt being able to send n receive msgs
detaching myself from e world for a moment or so.

however, it worried mi too
is dere sum1 looking for mi now?

cz i hate it when ppl dun reply to msg after a long time
so i dun wanna do tt to others.

i hate waiting n anticipating for an ans
in short - i jus hate waiting.

hp is gg to e repairman today
hope it gets well asap.

today is gg to be another long day ahead
jus gotta face it no matter i like it or not.

after tt.
dere wuld be endless work facing n waiting for mi.

i swear i hate em
but jus haf to do it n love it.

n as i was scrolling down e phone bk
i realised tt those no. tt shuld be stored r already in my mind.

how nice wuld it be if e world wuld onli revolve ard those ppl whose no. r stored in ur mind
things being so simple n nice.

but i know it's impossible.
so.
wake up felicia.

end here le..take care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.guardian angel.][
][.take mi away.][

][.5weet ending.TEAM VJC][

][.5weet ending -> TEAM VJC.][

currently it's 12:18am 26/5/07..

my eyelids are falling..

BUT..

i haf gotta do sumthing!

haha i wanna blog!

i wanna blog abt 25/5/07!

will nv forget this day!

it's like a full force roller coaster..

bringing mi to e highest pt..den falling to e lowest be4 bac up to e highest again!

trust mi..it's a wonderful n spectacular day!

it's e day VJC BASKETBALL GIRLS = CHAMPIONS!

i will nv forget anything..=D

be4 i go on abt my day..there's a list of ppl tt i wanna thank!

thanks lots to all those tt came down to support us despite e full day!

thanks lots to 06A13,matong,tricia,shu hua and lingxie for cuming down n screaming their lungs out to cheer us on!

thanks to e seniors who came down today! rong,ame, lu! =D

thanks to e guys who made e board n acc us thur out e day!

thanks lots to daddy n gan die for cuming down too =D

thanks lots to lqjl,van =D

thanks lots to 132 n 135!! haha was realli glad to haf e both of u dere w mi on this v special day!

thanks lots to wen!! xie xie ni lifetime friend..=D

haha n i saw ahs coaches!!

thanks lots coaches!!

thanks lots to every1!!

including every1 tt sent gd luck n jia you msgs!!

u all made my wonderful day even memorable!!

AND how could i not thank this v special grp of ppl..

THANK YOU VJC BASKETBALL GIRLS!!

thanks for making all these possible!

U ALL ROXZ! =D

haha ok..so now i shall blog abt e day..=D

went sch..it was a full day..den had farewell for ms tan =D haha it was quite gd..thanks for all that u haf done for us ms tan!

den it was lunching,slacking in lt1, preparations, liying,elica, sheryl n mei mei gave us little sweet gifts! ahah den..off we are! to..to..Toa Payoh Stadium! haha for? our A div finals!! haha

n dere goes e game which started w us losing by 8 in e 1st half..den chase chase..on par on par..chase..chase..fight back..ni lai wo wang..n finally! 53-50! WE WON!! e game was..haha no words for it..it was so jing zhang..n i m realli thankful for this team! thanks for fighting on! realli! while i was on e bench due to my stupidity of 4 fouls in 2 quads..which i wuld nv forgive myself for e rest of this life..i was praying..screaming..everything..n u all jus made mi felt tt i culd trust u all..n u all did it!

n when e final whistle was blew! i jumped in e air..n e tears..tears of joy? tears of relived? tears of? i dunno..n be4 i knew..every1..e whole team was hugging n tearing..every1 was tearing so hard so hard..yeah man! our hardwork had paid off gals! yeah man! i dunno how to describe how i felt..but it was so so so glad! realli..thanks VJ Basketball girls for giving mi this chance to haf such a wonderful moment! u all roxz!

went to shook hands w rj..n i was still tearing..n i guessed so r e others..wasn't able to thank e rj players until e last few ones..can't control e tears..dun ask mi why..it hasn't happened be4 in any of my finals..realli..den we went to thank e supporters n sang sch song..n we cried again..realli hard..it was..i dunno e word to describe it..so i wuld say it was spectacular! =D it wuld also be etched to my mind..my memories..i promise..

den we took our bags..n we walked out n we cont crying..haha it was realli realli great..realli..thanks every1 for making this day possible! WE R THE CHAMPIONS!! =D

haha after that was phototaking n more phototaking..den prize presentation..den off to support soccer girls who fought hard too..chins up! den went to parkmall for fish n co n lots of fun w e dedication of songs n jus sitting dere to chat w snail..haha n more phototaking..haha n now i m home sweet home..n dere's no nd to put sugar under my pillows tonite..cz..i had jus lived my sweetest dream today..=D

haha n yah..i said tt i haf nv had such a finals which is so spectacular..e sec4 one when ahs won e b div champs (wuld nv be forgotten) but we onli cried so so so hard when we sang to coaches..=D when e whistle was blew n indicating e end of e game..i din felt as special as today..i was jus vvvv happy! but today it's so so so so haha a mixtures of everything! hen gan ren de yi mian..dats how i wuld describe it..realli..

once again..i jus wanna say a BIG THANK YOU TO EVERY1 WHO SUPPORTED US! n most importantly => my WONDERFUL team mates!! thanks for ending my inter-sch comp w such a memorable victory! =D realli..as i sat on e bench due to my stupidity..i was scolding myself..damm u stupid felicia..why did u foul 4 times..is this how u wan to end ur last ever inter-sch comp? but luckily dere was u guys who fought on n fought so hard n kept my hopes alive =D so..realli thanks lots ppl! realli! *hugz*

haha n of cz mus thank coach, ms tan n every!..haha n han yu snr who told mi to cool down during half time..yups..

once again..thank you every1! thanks for making 25/5/2007 such a wonderful n memorable final! thanks..n most importantly..thanks TEAM VJC! u guys roxz!! =D

hao la..end here le..lei le..dan hen kai xin..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.thanks for this wonderful day.][

][.tell mi why.][

][.tell mi why.][

to e person tt matters to u..
u nv ever seems to be as important to him/her..

to e person tt dun matter as much to u..
u r given e treatment tt u hope e other wuld give u..

irony of life..
maybe like wad laolao zhu says..
e more sum1 matters..
e more we expect of em ba..

nw i realli dun dare to hope for much..
jus hope tt u will remember ya promise n cum this fri..=)

haha sighs..today hasn't been exactly great..all e ASSays are killing mi..realli..it's so agrh! jus feel like throwing em all away..sighs..so sorry if i v stone n bad mood..cz it's realli haiz..i noe u guys feel e same way as i do..so lets jia you ok!

haha n yup..today is my last official sch trng..hee nt too bad! jus hope tt every1 recovers from injuries n illness asap!! be4 fri!! haha GO VJ!

hao la..kinda lost of wad to blog le..take gd care every1! byee..
n yah..thanks for listening to mi rant..wen n laolao zhu =)

][.FEarless.][
][.status: calm.][

][.frustration.][

][.frustration.][

21/5/07
ni D.O.M le ma?
wo hai mei you..=\
dan hen mei xing qing..

ever tried to get sumthings right..
but despite trying hard..
u jus can't get it?
feels like a failure..

at that moment..
how much i wished u were dere..
jus being dere..

does it ever occurs to u tt..
2 person may be doing e same thing for u..
but sumhow it's diff..
it jus happened that..
e special 1 ain't e 1 here..

grrrr ka pa! (haha wen i m seriously gg retarded)..lalalalala..nbm i will be ok..hee..tml will be a brand new day..chins up! look at e road in front! n say w mi => " I CAN DO IT!" hee hao la..jia you every1! wadever it is..we can do it huh!

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.wuld u be here, my guardian angel.][

][.shou bu chu kou de gan jue.][

][.shou bu chu kou de gan jue.][

20/5
i m feeling..( i dunno how to describe)..its all too hard to be explained..
went to tpsh jus nw..to help w sph de event..
hmm e gan jue..
as i sat at e spectator stand..
i reminsice 2 moment..
1 was e sweet victory of sec4..
another was e bitter ending of j1..
it was a mixtures of feeling..
suddenly an overwhelming of nervous..excitment n uncertainity filled mi..
fri is cuming..
i m looking forward to it..
realli no doubt..
but at e same time..
dere was this shou bu chu kou de gan jue..
at e instance..
i realli felt v insecure..
realli..
jus hafta jia you w e team le..
go VJ go VJ go!

yup..that was my bu an de gan jue..but shall dismiss it..=)..n yah..so as i was on my mrt train ride hm..suddenly it struck mi how much things had changed as we grow..wad we experienced in e past is diff frm now..so diff..e distance..e emptiness..everything..it's jus all so scary..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.guardian angel.][
][.wuld u dismiss my fears?.][

][.high.][

][.high.][

my heart goes shalalala! ooo hoo..i m feeling quite high de..thanks to harmoc concert..haha gd job matong! haha it ends my day off w a smile..=)..

ok..so my day was rather fei..i woke up v early..thanks to my bro who stood beside mi n wake mi like a recorder gone wrong..yups..so slacked n had breakfast,lunch n youtube be4 i went for trng..n yah..i wasted my morning away..how wonderful huh..sighs..

o den went for trng..it was nt too bad..watched e video again..den trng..was realli paiseh to make every1 wait while i tape..sorry sorry..i will go find ms tan earlier nxt time round =)..hmm yah..e calf still ain't any better...but as e trng proceeds on..i felt tt it was getting better..haha hang in dere my dear legs..trng was nt tiring..but yah..i was realli trying to do e best for everything..so pardon mi if i showed black face or whatsoever to u..dui bu qi..jia you!!

yups..so after trng..went for harmoc..haha hmm it was great..i meant like..it was quite gd la..dere was interaction and audience's participation..haha i din fell asleep =) was quite high actually..cz i was realli hungry..haha..aw..there was quite a few of my fav songs..eg. feng, the classic, eyes on mi..o mian..eyes on mi was realli gd..i meant like everytime i listens to it..i will feel sad..haha dunno why..mus be e song..den haha shalalala n boom boom boom was high..haha woohoo..n e conductor was realli engaging..haha

n yups..thanks tricia and her parents for e ride home..hee =) n yah..congrats to matong n harmoc for their successful concert too..i meant i was in c.o n took part in my 1 n onli syf..n i feel tt performing grp is realli v diff frm sports..although both is like tai shang yi fen zhong..tai xia shi nian gong..but in sports u r given more chances..more comp..but performing arts onli gt tt 1 syf chance..tt 1 chance during concert..yups..ignore mi..i m too tired to be coherent..haha..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1 ! byee.. n yah..jus wanna share this..got it from ah min's blog..=> don't focus on the outcome but focus on the process. therefore don't think about winning,losing or letting in a goal. just concentrate on doing your best in the process so that you'll be absolutely focused on doing well instead of the end result.

][.FEarless.][
][.wad shuld i do?.][

][.nothing else.][

][.nothing else.][

hello blog..haha jus wanna note down sum stuffs..

ytr was jus another normal sch day..
lessons lessons..den gym..

den o yah..went to support soccer..it was realli sad to see em teared..although dunno e guys..but when we sang e sch song tgt..it was realli heart-wrenching..hope they are feeling better..n boo hoo hoo to those MI disgusting boys..if u so wanna cheer for rj..go n sit at their side..dun be a loser n sit at our side n cheer for em..i so hoped that there was sum1 dere who was brave enff to bash em up! n thumbs up to mr seet..damm those disgusting uncivilised guys..shut ya mouth up if u can't even get into top4..yup..so jus hope e soccer boys r feeling better n jia you for their nxt game..they realli played well =) n yah..apologises to any MI ppl..i was jus refering to those few irritating guys..nt e rest of u..=)

den after that..came bac to sch for our 4.5km run..ooo hooo..i swore it realli was not pain man..every step i take i felt like i was gg to cramp again..so tight..agrh..can't even stretch..but i wanna run..cz it's e last 4.5 that we wuld run as a team (although it wasn't like a team la =P)..yup..after e run..saw c mei's call..so haha went for guitar concert at e last min..haha fell asleep at e last part..was realli tired..but..haha overall it was nt bad la..i realli admire those that can play any musical instrument..n be4 i go on..i m gg for harmonica concert ltr..so..JIA YOU MATONG!! haha..so after guitar concert..home sweet home..haha thanks to gan die n gan ma n c mei..i got a cab ride hm..so jus in time for Dream of Colours..haha yeah..mon i mus catch it! last esp le =D hee..

yups..that was my nt too bad ytr..n there's trng ltr in e noon..haha

sumtimes i realli dun understand why..
i can't tolerate this anymore..
your temper is realli so unpredictable..
i dunno wad to do le..
now..i realli dun wan to do anything le..
i onli wan to focus on nxt fri..
so if u r still angry..
i m sorry..
but..i dun tink i will do anything abt it nw..

hao la..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.status: fight hard.][

][.sumthings are meant to be.][

][.sumthings are meant to be.][

be4 i start..jus wanna say..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CELESTE!! hee

sumtimes..
sumthings..
they r jus meant to be unsaid..

sumtimes..
sumthings..
i believe it's meant to be..

being able to talk on e phone for an hr ytr w u was realli great..
in e past we used to be able to talk so often..
at e back of e class..
while we were packing our lockers..
down e stairs to trng..
during trng..
after trng..
on our way home..
every single moment..

today as i saw clare being dere for sheryl while she was massaging..
e 1st person tt came to mind was wen..
how much i wished u were u in e same sch as mi..
sharing w mi everything..
or jus being dere wuld be gd enff..

however..
as i thought abt it..
i guessed it's jus meant to be..
maybe it's better that we r in diff schs..
cz ppl say absence made e heart fonder..
haha jkjk..

but yup..
this way is rather gd too..

yups..
n jus in case i nv let u noe..
u r my irreplacable best friend..
thanks my loyal friend =)

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.status: happy ; pain.][

][.smiles.][

][.smiles.][

hooo lala..for e past 4 hrs i haf been nua-ing since e end of e game till now..
reached hm super early today cz cabbed hm w daddy after e game..
haha nua-ed at e sofa n watched tv..so shuang..hee at dolphin bay n more..
o n yah..jus wanan share sumthing that i caught from a song of yuan dian..i tink it's realli true..
"no matter how high up n front n bac that we can swing..in e end..we wuld still return to the same spot" => i tink that's jus life..it made mi felt like..no matter how much u try to escape..in e end..u wuld find out that u can't..=)

haha i m realli glad..so glad..yeah..we made it..finals here we cum..=)
jia you VJ!!
haha hmm..haf lots of ppl to thank today..realli v happy n tired..
1stly..of cz must thank e team..haha thanks lots ppl! thanks for putting on such a great fight =D jia you!!
den mus thank mr gan for helping mi tape my leg till it's so secure n comfortable..haha =)
den mus thank all e supporters for cuming down to support vj today..=)
haha hmm n auntie joy for helping mi w e cramps..it was realli ouch n u were e 1st 1 dere to help mi w it..xie xie ni =)

yups..n e list goes on..realli glad that semis is finally over..n finals is finally cuming! =D haha thou there's 9 mre days la =D jia you!! go vj go vj go! n yah..i made those same mistakes again..sorry sheryl..=

haha v tired n happy now..thanks heaven for this wonderful day!! hao la..i shall end here le..take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.status: happy.][

][.e precious smile.][

the cakes allowed mi to c e precious smile on their face which made mi felt like being a chef..

the pics that i told during feeling fab made mi felt like being a photographer..

haha go ahead n laught at mi ba..yes i m day-dreaming..but allow mi to do so for jus another day yeah..=P

n haf u ever tried being unable to get ya mind off sumthing..n jus can't wait for it to cum?..cz that's how i m feeling nw..=P semis here we cum =)

haha hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.focus.][

][.tired.][

][.tired.][

i need a ear..but there's none..so i m here..
there's so so so so much that i wanna shout out nw..
i need sum1 to listen..
but i found none..
or rather..those that i hoped wuld..can't..
sighs..
so nw it's all bottled out..
sumwhere deep beneath..

sumtimes i m jus so glad that there's a blog..
i noe i may sound eccentric..but at least it's still dere..
to hear mi rant or allow mi to do sumthing to get my mind off sum other things..

sighs..
it's irony..
i hate this uncertainity..
i seriously like the team..
i realli do..
i wanna go far with them..
but nw it's all so uncertain..
i noe i m nt gd enff to be dere..
i noe that i prefer to b here..
but i noe dat i wuld be sad if i dun get in dere..
it's all irony..
i m jus contradicting n ironic..
sighs..
i jus wanna noe e ans soon..
let fate decide for mi..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.guardian angel.i need u now.][

][.for one more day.][

][.for one more day.][

I met a man who did a lot of mountain climbing.
I asked him which was harder ,
ascending or descending?
He said without a doubt descending,
because ascending,
you were so focused on reaching the top,
you avoided mistakes.

The backside of the mountainis a fight against human nature.
You have to care as much about yourself on the way down as you did on the way up..

][.FEarless.][
][.status: ome.][

][.surprises.][

][.surprises.][

today morning n noon wasn't gd..but evening was nt too bad..=)

moring missed my 53 cz sum damm irritating pest pressed every single lvl of e lift..so e lift went all e way up slowly 1 lvl by 1 lvl be4 it came down to my lvl again..n yes..i missed my 53..so darn angry w e irritating asshole who did that..dun he/she haf sumthing better to do? lucky i managed to take my 36 n reach sch early in fact..thanks lao tian..if nt i tink i wuld be in a v foul mood ba..

den noon..went to support e guy's game..they lost..kind of sad for em de..hope they r ok..there's sumthing that's burning more strongly in my heart..=)

after tt rushed off for dinner..thanks ling for being so understanding..=D..hmm aw..yah..dinner was nt too bad..den shopped ard..haha at ntuc..woohoo..bought jelly stuffs to prepare for mother's day suprise! muhaha i love giving ppl surprises n see e smile on their face jus made my day..hope i will be able to do so on sun! haha i m intending to surprise 3 ppl on sun..so lets hope i will be able to do that la..haha..e precious smile..

den hmm haha mars n venus de ending song v nice..it's wuld u be dere by redwan ali..both wen n i agree that he shuld haf a album la..n yah wen..i purposely hogged on to e phone de leh..cz u r missed =P wahaha jkjk..jus that there's so much i wanna let u noe..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! n zhu tous..hope u all r doing ok! =D

][.FEarless.][
][.your precious smile.][

][.hope.][

][.hope.][

it's hope that keeps ppl going..=P

hmm aw..today?..hmm haha nth much..
jus that i went for massage after gym n it turns out that left knee is e 1 that's worst than right..haha..hmm wad else..nth much ba..jus another normal sch day..=P

haha tml gg to sbc to watch e games..hope it's gg to be interesting n hope our guys can make it! =D haha

hao la..nt in e right mind n mood to blog also..take gd care every1!..everything will be ok..press on!! =D

][.FEarless.][
][.my guardian angel.][
][.u made mi smile.][

][.moodless.][

][.moodless.][

currently..i m in this super moodless n leave mi alone mode..i m reali v v v sian-ed..
aw my day..

sch work that's piling up is realli making mi all stressed out..i realli wanna be an ostrich u noe..hide away frm this world n all e work n presuming that others can't c mi when obivously they could..i jus felt like crying out loud la..nth is going right..

trng..o mian..my calf almost cramp..n if it did cramp..it wuld be e 1st cramp in hmmm maybe dis yr?..all e runnings realli yao le wo de ming la..but maybe it was e music..maybe it was mi..i realli tried my best to push myself to e max..dao i realli feel weak in my limbs when we do defence etc..it's tiring..draining..but nbm..last lap le..no pain no gain..

hmm yah..n yuan lai i m scared to see others cry..will make u bu zhi ru he shi hao..but i jus did..n i felt much better..maybe that's e wonder ba..ku guo hou yao pai pai jian bang..yong gan de zhan qi lai..( after u cry..u mus be brave n brace yaself tgt =) ) jia you my friends!

n yah..i m listening to "na jiu zhe yang ba" its an old song..at least quite a few feels so..my daddy sent it to mi..i haf been looking for it la..so glad to found it..haha love e tune..n e 1st line.."bu yao ku le..gai ku de ren shi wo ba..".( dun cry already..e person that ought to cry is mi)..haha randomly love it la..

hmm hao la..feeling much better le..thanks fungi..n sorry that i last min decide that i shuo bu xia qu..

hao la..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.ke yi jie ge jian bang ma?.][
][.wo hao lei.][

][.dreams of colours.][

][.dreams of colours.][

basically..i jus youtubed my day away..haha did a little of poisson here n dere..but tv n youtube made up a larger part of my day..haha i noe i shuld nt do it..but..haha hmm..jus felt like watching e show..

today is realli a moodless day..cooped up at hm..n ate e whole morning n noon away..ate non-stop..haha realli feels like a pig..but i guess there's jus sum days that u dun feel like doing anything n jus relax n nua ur day away ba..haha

aw..jus sum stuffs that made my day..haha watched e charity show..n dere was cao meng..haha e 1st person i thought of was => C mei!! haha rmb when she was young she wuld dance to e songs..so cute la..so called her immediately to check if she watching n indeed she was..haha e cute gal has became a mature gal le wow..haha dun ask mi why..cz e gan jue is jus so..hee realli felt so high after e cao meng's songs..haha woohoo..

den e whole family played jian zi w didi..haha kinda of fun..v long nv play games tgt like this le..haha daddy n mummy kicked so much better than us la..=P haha but in e end..all of us gotcha blue black on our ankles..den mummy was saying that tml ppl wuld ask us why our whole family walk w a limp =P..

haha last thing that made my day is watching Dreams of Colours on youtube!..haha o mian..my heart realli pain when elaine n you li break up la..sighs..although mario realli v gd to her..n although michelle n you li tgt shuld be e ending..but haiyo..haha still feel sad for em la..n i kinda of like elaine this character..haha cz she acted in quite a few shows that i watched..den e character dou v gd de..hee nt v sure of her actual name thou..haha ok..i shall go back n watch my show..haha it's loading nw..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.restless.][

][.hybernation.][

][.hybernation.][

woohoo..i m a pig..slept my weekend away..slept super early last nite till dis morning for like 10+++ hrs..haha realli tired..hmm nw feeling ok onli..still nt too gd..haha

hmm aw..life has been soo..hmm dunno how to describe..no words for it..lets jus hope everything is going right for every1 ba..haha why dun we say gg left?..becoz i rmb during one of e lit lessons..or maybe gp..mr ho or maybe mr young said that..right is lucky n left is unlucky..thus ppl wuld say i woke up on e right side of bed instead of left..i m nt laming ok =P..

hmm hao la..since i dunno wad n how to blog..jiu end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

n wen..i hope u r ok..=]

][.FEarless.][
][.moodless.][

][.if only.][

][.if only.][

if only..
if only..

dere's so so so much that i wanna say..
dere's so so so much that i wanna let u all noe..
but i dunno how..
i dunno where shuld i start from..

all of a sudden..
i missed the times that we shared tgt lots..
i realli do..

i miss u all..
i miss e old days..
those days spent at e fitness corners as though we own it..
those days spent at e court playing till e sun sets..
those days..
those innocent laughters..
those caring acts..
those lame stuffs that onli we wuld do tgt..

i realli missed those days..
sumtimes at nite..
i wuld ask myself so many qn..

my dearest lifetime friends..
how are u all doing?..

i asked myself that..
n i discovered that..
yes..u all r my lifetime friends..
but i haf no idea how u all r doing at this v moment..
happy? sad?
is everything ok?

things changed..
n we can't help it..

certain things happened..
n i noe it hurted u all too..
thats wad i dread most..
i hate it when sumthing hurt u all..
but e irony is that..i m e one that caused all these..

i realli hate e situation now..
i realli hope i can reverse everything..
i realli hope that i can forget all e unhappiness btw both of us..
i realli hope i can do that..
so that..5 of us culd move on jus as e past..

but i can't..
at least nt at this v moment..

my mind is nt in e right place..it's confusing..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.i m thankful.][

][.finally.][

][.finally.][

ended e 1st rounds of games today against nj =)
2nd round wuld be nxt wk..=)
hmm jus can't get my mind onto my hw..shugs..
aw..jus wanna say thanks to laolao zhu n mei for cuming down today =D
thanks u 2!..

haha i m so dead..i haf yet to do my hist essay..but..no mood to do yet..hee..so shall blog a little thou i dun realli noe wad to blog too..haha..

hao la..since i haf no idea wad to blog..i shall end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

i could hear my heart..
finally..
finally..


][.FEarless.][
][.u nv noe.][

][.nice.][

][.nice.][

haha i wasted e whole of my labour day..nt labouring at all..haha thats meant..nt doing any of my hw..haha but nt realli can say waste la..cz i watched spidey3..wahaha

hmm din understand why so many ppl wanna watch it in e 1st place..but after watching it..haha it's kinda gd..haha n harry is gd looking..hee harry = james franco..haha loyal friend..=D

haha ok..nt realli in e mood to blog too..knee hurting..hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.guardian angel.][

][.nostalgia nite.][

][.nostalgia nite.][

hmm read on if u haf e time..cz today's blog is jus recaping things..n my personal opinions..it's gonna be 2 parts..1st part on a lighter note..2nd part..haha e grey part =)

if u haf nth to do..(or even if u haf but refuse to do)..
go n check ya mail box (if u dun clear em jus as i dun)..
u will find mails that wuld make u grin ear to ear like a fool to e com..=)

was trying to find pi examples for mei's reference..
but instead of finding e pi examples..
i was thrown back onto a memory lane roller coaster..

haha laolao zhu's e-mail that was exactly a yr ago..
haha so sweet n inspiring..
n yeah..it's officially a yr le..
n i felt that i had jus read e mail nt long ago..
it's amazing how time past isn't it? =)
thanks laolao zhu..thanks for being dere for mi =)..

den tooty's toot n funny e-mails dat we exchanged..
haha i read n i lol n lol..
yups..it's been a yr le..
so much haf changed..
u changed..i changed..our friendship changed..
haha u used to be sooo nice (nt tt u r nt now la..it's jus in a diff way =P)..
all e times spent tgt..
spent at macs..
spent at here dere everywhere..
it's jus soo..hmm
i will always keep it tight in my heart =)
thanks for always being dere..

haha yups..thats e lighter part n happier note..now i shall go on to e grey part..so..haha hmm read on if u feel like ba =) (haha maybe no1 reads it anyway..but nbm =p)

laolao zhu is right..we used to believe in forever..believe that we can't live n go on if that friend is no longer w us..we used to so so so believe in forever becoz we feel that we can't do w/o each another's companion..however..be4 u culd react..it may be u..or e friend who haf slipped away quietly from ya life..n u discovered that u r still surviving..n that ur friend that special 1 dun nd u as much anyway..=)..

i guess..that's jus part of e growing up process? growing up to e reality?..haha it's cruel isn't it?..i mean growing up..cz u will be more mature n u will tend to use ya brain instead of ya heart..n that's when everything starts to becum colder..reality vs fairytales..haha life..

hmm n when every1 starts to move on..that's when u move on too..i no longer wanna give promises..cz no1 can guarantee what will becum of us in a yr or 2? or maybe a mth a day?..haha n it hurts lots if promises are broken..so jus live at this very moment n treasure n cherish ya friends now ba =D

to a few special friends..i jus wanna let u noe that..u guys are impt to mi more than u ever noe..=) take gd care my dear friends..hope everything is gd for ya all =D

hao la..end here le..byee..take gd care every1!..

][.FEarless.][
][.memories so precious.][

][.dun look mi in e eyes.][

][.dun look mi in e eyes.][

e moment when i told u that..
my heart still hurts..
n i culd feel my tears gushing out..
but yet i held em bac..
i dun wanna cry in front of u..
as much as i wanna..

e moment u told mi it's ok..
there are many more chances..
i knew that e tears fell..
n i smiled n turned away..
telling u not to worry..
cz i m ok w it already..

dun look mi in e eyes npo..
i can't bear to let u see e tears..
as much as i wanna..
irony huh?..
yup..but..
up till this moment..
i can still take it..
at least i haf been taking it for e past few weeks..

dun wanna let e tear fall infront of u jus yet..
i m tired..n disappointed..
every trng is jus making mi feel that i m getting worse..
not that i haf been gd..
but jus as i went for my 2nd trng..
i held e ball..
n i stood at e court..
n i was shocked by wad i thought at that instant..

i held e ball..
looked at e basket..
n i asked myself..
can u shoot?..
do u noe how to shoot?
do u still rmb how to shoot?..
n i din haf e courage to try..
i walked to e free-throw line instead..

n yah..
thats mi now..
a useless nobody..
all e trng drills for center is to do all e jiao bu..
all e underbaskets..
e onli place that we shoot wuld be e free-throw line..

this ain't e game i love..
this is restriction..

during e 2nd trng..it was tiring..
but it was beneficial..
after all these months of shouting at my mistakes w/o letting mi noe wads realli wrong..
finally there's sum1 who demo to mi where did i realli goes wrong..
thanks npo..=)

dinner was full of laughters n fun..
it was great..
n nw i do look forward to sat..
thou it's realli tiring..
but they gave mi a reason to..

n i jus read sumthing..n i realli feel that..if i culd blog in chi..i wuld..it wuld be so much easier to let u noe how i feel..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..
ps. HAPPY 17 LING! =D

][.FEarless.][
][.jus be here for mi.][
][.be my reason to hold on.][

][.friends.][

][.friends.][

today is a grey day..nt becoz of bball..nt becoz of studies..but becoz of my brother..it hurts n pains to c him cry..realli..but i m jus so glad..that amidst all these sadness..there's this light..or there are..thanks wen..thanks laolao zhu..thanks for always being dere =]

e load was heavy..

but there u were..

lending mi a listening ear..

n ya caring gestures..

its been 10 yrs down e road..

n u nv failed to be dere..

thanks wen..

its more than words..

joy-rapy..it always work..

u nv fail to make mi feel that everything is gonna be ok..

u always make mi feel motivated to fight on..

thankYOU laolaozhu! haha

no1 can put u down..unless u allow em to =]

hao la..end here for today..n yups..i finally watched a movie again! its 200 pounds beauty..hee..n JOO Jin Mo is so shuai!..byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.friends forever.][

][.darkness.][

][.darkness.][

life..
every1 haf their own troubles..
own worries..
own stress..

it's jus whether they choose to take it..
or say it out..

sumtimes it get overwhelming..
n when that happens..
one shuts themself out from the world..

sum words ain't meant to be said..
but i jus wanna say..
respect others if u wan others to respect u..

wad goes around..
cums ard..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.i pray that everything will be ok.][
][.bless him.][

][.escape.][

][.escape.][

life goes on..no matter wad goes wrong..
thats wad i told myself..
but i guess its jus ain't easy to do so..

i dunno wads wrong w mi..
but i jus wanna ignore everything that is going on..
studies..
basketball..
wadever it is..

i jus wanna escape from all these..
everything seems so perfectly nice n fine on e outside..
but deep down inside..
i noe everything is in a mess..

studies..
e undone tutorial..essays..upcuming test etc..
i noe i haf nt enff time..
i dun haf enff time..i realli dun..
n yet i m still in this stone mode..
can sum1 knock sum sense into mi?..

basketball..
giv mi bac e joy tt i used to haf..
i m realli trying hard..
but my left hand realli suxz big time..
every other thing too..
why can't i jus cool down n look at e defender 1st..
why?..
so much anger w myself nt being able to do so many things..
sighs..

life..
hanging on..
cz Hang On Possibilities Exists..
i still haf a little hope within mi..
dats wad keeping mi move on..

alright..shall stop complaining abt my life..its gd enff..its jus dat i m a disgusting pig who is nt contented enff..shugs..hao la..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.guardian angel.][
][.pls cum to mi tonite.][

][.ouch.][

][.ouch.][

be4 i start bloggin today..i mus apologise to sum n thank sum..sorry matong,mamajan n sh for hafin to put up w e black face n stone mode mi..n thanks auntie joy n ling for lendin mi a listening ear =)..

today is a grey day..

i haf been trying to hold em bac..but i can't..

i raised my head up n look at e stars thinking that e tears wun roll down that way..but it still did..

every moment that i haf nth to do..

i recall all e stuffs n it jus hurts..

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch..it hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts..

it hurts so so so much..do u noe?..

do u hear e shattering n e wincing n e..i dunno..

it jus hurts..

i m realli sorry for gg on w e investiture n forsaking our meeting..

i m realli sorry but its my commitment..

its my responsibility..

i noe u always get disappointed when i onli do e politically right things..

i m sorry my friend..

but pls dun use that to measure e importance of things in my life..

sum things are jus obligations..n i need to fulfil em..

understand?..

haiz..i guess u dun..

even if u do..

all these that i said are jus reasons n excuses to u ba..

sighs..

n why do u wanna doubt mi?..

after a yr of friendship..

tell mi wad can i do to dispel ya fears?..

i realli tried v hard le..

but why is it time n again that we quarrel?..

tell mi why..

tell mi wad goes wrong..

why can't u trust mi..

thats hurts..

after all e things that i let go..

after all e things..

so this is wad i m to u..

sum1 that u fear..

sum1 that u can't trust?..

n it jus hurts..

i m at lost..

e whole day my head is in this whirl..

whenever there's a moment tt i m nt doing anything..

i wuld stone n think..

tell mi wad shuld i do..

i tink i shuld jus stop bothering u..

n let things cool off..

its not trying to escape..

its lost..

everytime i take a step forward..

u doubt..n u walk further away..

i m tired my friend..

but i wuld still trust u..

i haf to cont trusting u..

coz sum1 says tt i haf to trust u be4 u can trust mi again..

so i guess i will jus cont doing that for e meantime..

i will give u time to cool down..

i will stop bothering u..

i will pray hard n hope everything will be ok soon..

i m such a failure..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1..byee..n if i stone at u tml..i mus apologise 1st..dui bu qi..=)

][.FEarless.][

][.peace.][

][.way back into love.][

][.way back into love.][

went to zao bao's jiu zhi today..n there was this nice song which xin yue n wang guan sing..it's way back into love..n i found out from xy that its e song from music n lyrics..

hmm music n lyrics..1 movie that i told myself that i wanna watch n i mus watch..planned to..but in e end all e plans were jus gone into e thin air..nth..sighs..its sad to tink of all e movies that i wanted to catch but din..e last movie that i watched was..pursuit of e happiness..=)

its realli sad to tink of all e things that i haf planned to do n yet din..
its realli sad to tink of all e times u stood up on mi..
its realli sad when time n again i told u that its ok..n that u r realli too tired (i noe u realli r)..
its realli sad when i haf to tell myself thats its ok..
its realli sad when i finally got used to e fact bit by bit..
its realli sad when i start w e preparation that u wun eventually turn up..
its realli sad when i m already disappointed n haf to comfort e guilty u..
its realli sad..
now that u dun even reply..
and as i look at e sweet..
i m starting to wonder..
shuld i jus eat it by myself?..
or shuld i give it to u?..

hao la..shall end here..take gd care every1!..byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.i jus wan to find my way bac.][

][.daze.][

][.daze.][

i always admire those that can compose their own poem to express how they feel..

i always admire those that can use a word to express everything..

i always wanted to..

but i jus dunno how..

hao la..shall try now..

..failure..

as i lay in e dark

tears welled up..

i made those that treasure give up..

i made those that matters walk away..

i could not sleep..

it hurts..

u matter to mi so much..

yet why once an again we haf to quarrel?

why do we haf to quarrel over such trival stuffs?

i noe u r angry..

but so m i..

its jus mi..

u noe that its jus mi..

den as i cool down..

n i tink..

maybe its realli my fault..

my fault for being so stubborn n "law-abidding"..

however..

dere's still this struggle within mi..

its my fault..

but that's my belief..

slowly as tears welled up..

i fell asleep..

dere was no reply from u..

nt even one to quarrel anymore..

den it struck mi dat u may haf gave up..

n i dunno wad to do..

realli..

let it be?..

i noe if i do..

u will jus let it be..

so how..

tell mi how..

sighs..

alright..i tink i failed to "compose" a poem once again..cz its not even regular stanza..n there's no rhyme wadsoever..but nbm..take gd care every1!..byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.tong.][