][.finally.][

][.finally.][

i rmb telling sum1 that i wuld feel better e day when sum1 gives up on mi..
n tt person tells mi tt i wuld feel v sad if e friend realli gives up on mi..
n i tink tt day haf finally cum..
n all i can say is..i m jus so glad..n relieved..
realli..
cz 1 day which e friend dun give up..it will onli make mi feel v bad towards her..
cz i can't deny how my heart feels..
i can't deny all e thoughts..
its realli better this way out..
sorry for all those tt u haf done..
thanks for all those tt u haf done too..
blame mi for being stubborn n heartless all u wan..
but i realli feel tt this is e better way out..
go on our separate ways..
cz i tink tt its meant to be..
its fate..
i haf been avoiding so much is becoz i wan no repeat..
thanks n sorry is all i can say..

hao la..thats for sum1..who i assume tt she will noe who she is if she read this..aw today is a greyish day..studied in e lib for a few hrs until i realli wanna cry..i ate like super slowly..cz i dun wanna go bac to e reality..i dun wanna face e endless notes n endless essays..so i jus ate n stone..n i wonder how..i realli din noe wad to do..so was in this dun tok to mi mood even till trng..den after trng went for dinner..haha was realli gd to laugh n laugh..sian ma was realli funny..haha den after dinner..my mood swing bac to e all time low as i tot abt all those work tt is piled in front of mi..n e day tt will be gone w sph tml..sighs..

i realli wanna more time..i wanna more energy..today i haf been listening to "wo xiang xing" by yang pei an..it jus makes mi feel better n more zheng fen (hmm dunno how to express tt in chi)..haha

aw buddy jus mentioned sumthing..i say i feel old..n she said..we r realli old as sports players..hmm so true isn't it..i m gg to be 18..how long more can i play?..haha n look at where i stand nw..jus a lousy nobody..but nbm..lets jia u! (attempt of trying to be positive) n e big As..its realli scary..i dunno how m i gg to face it..*sighs*..

hao la..shall end here! wadever it is..jus gotta face it!! shall stop escaping from reality!..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.give mi e courage to face all these.][

][.believe.][

][.believe.][

had e 1st game of e season..hmm..haha hmm..i jus wanna say thanks to a v special sum1..thank you auntie joy! lao zhu..ur words realli made mi realise sum things..thanks..

it felt so great to be playing w/o e pressure..i tink wad that matters to mi in e past no longer matters to mi nw..n i m so glad that i haf let it go..=)

hmm abt today's game..i wuld tink it isn't a gd win..dunno how to say it all..but it jus isn't la..hmm n sh + sheryl...pls take gd gd x infinity care of yaself ok..dun injure! = thats of cz goes out to e whole team too la..=)

aw..my blog title is believe becoz currently..e 2 songs on my play list is "sum1 is watching over mi" and "wo xiang xing"..realli gd n inspiring songs..haha jus wanna share e lyrics of e 1st song..cz it touched mi..n i haf been repeating it thur out e whole day..=)

"Someone's Watching Over Me"

Found myself today

Oh I found myself and ran away

Something pulled me back

The voice of reason I forgot I had

All I know is you're not here to say

What you always used to say

But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark

I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light

And it's shining on my destiny

Shining all the time

And I wont be afraid

To follow everywhere it's taking me

All I know is yesterday is gone

And right now I belong

To this moment to my dreams

So I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark

I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say

And it doesn't matter how long it takes

Believe in yourself and you'll fly high

And it only matters how true you are

Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark

I'll still believe

That I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even when it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe

That someone's watching over

Someone's watching over

Someone's watching over me

Someone's watching over me

its my song of e day =) it said all that i wanna..it touched mi..love e song..

hao la..shall end here for today..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.rethgif tnelis.][

][.i wanna.][

][.i wanna.][

haha so random huh today's blog..cz i haf nth to blog..or rather..too lazy to blog everything out..so..haha yah..aw..i jus heard this song..quite nice de.." I wanna grow old with you"..its by westlife..go check it out if u like slow songs like mi =P..

history..
i heard wad u say..
n y do i find it all so familiar?..
its becoz..
thats all that i said last yr..
n i smiled..
jia u !

hmm hao la..nth much..shall end here le =) take gd care every1 byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.silence.][
][.peace.][

][.Choices.][

][.Choices.][

humans..
interesting ain't we?..
when given a choice..we find it hard to choose between options..
when nt given a choice..we jus gotta do it..n we call it obligations..
haha is it every1?
or is it jus me?

wadever it is..life can be tiring..but jus hold on to it n jia u ba my friends! =)

p/s. haha mamajan..1 mth n 8 days to conclude if everything goes well for us =) hang on!

][.FEarless.][
][.tired.][

][.silence.][

][.silence.][

today's blog will be kinda of grey..so be4 i start ranting on all e grey stuffs..i shall tok abt sum happy stuffs..for eg. e free ben n jerries ! haha took pic w ling n e cow..n e queue was kinda of fast..haha yeah man..n guess wad? i saw ah min there..haha a pleasant surprise..=)
isn't it amazing..sum friends are jus meant to be that way..near yet far..distance yet comfortable..aiya..i dunno how to say la..but sumthings are jus meant to be..=)
haha ok..so thats my happy stuffs..now..lets go on to tok abt e grey parts of my life..

-studies..
e damm lots of hw r like pilling up like nobody's business..lets c..currently i haf..
3 undone maths tut n assignments..2 hist essay..gp compre..dom..econs lect test..endless hist readings etc etc..its like nv ending..n my energy span is so short..i realli wonder how will i survive thur all these..but nbm i shall be positive..i shall try to at e v least..

-basketball..
wadever will be will be..e "future" is up to c..best nt to haf expectations..=)..i dun mean tt i dun wanna try hard or wadsoever..but it is realli..i dunno how to say..quote from sum1 who told mi this today..n i tink it is realli true "last time be4 e start of e season..i will noe where i wanna be..i wanna be at e finals..i wanna win e championship..but nw as e season is approaching..i dunno wad i wan or rather where we (e team) will end up at..its nt that we r nt strong..its jus that there r others jus s strong..everything is so uncertain..n how do i play w team mates which i dun like n dun trust?.."..yes..everything is so uncertain..i m tired of trng hard..n trying hard..n expecting too much of e team n too much of myself..of cz i wuld still wanna be dere..but..lets take it 1 step at a time ba..jia u..lets go! i will try to be positive by tml..its jus a draining day..so..pardon mi..

-friend..
sumtimes it's just tiring..
1 moment u r ok..
e nxt moment u r nt..
u r stressed..
so m i..
so is every1..
sumtimes i realli dunno wad to do..
so i decided nt to do anything..
n i can onli pray that..everything will be alright..
its tiring..but i will hold on..cz u r worthy of it..=]

-life..
sighs..big sighs..big big sighs..
may..its going to be a draining month..$ draining month..i realli wonder how m i gg to survive..
1) payment for A lvls..
2)bday gifts..
3)thailand trip..
how on earth m i gg to haf enff $ to survive all these shit..sighs..guess i jus gotta survive on cup noodles le..=

hao la..shall go back to my endless mountain of hw..take gd care every1!..byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.leave mi alone.][

][.wu nai.][

][.wu nai.][

although i m a little tired now..
but i mus blog abt e day! if nt i will nt haf e mood to blog abt it again another day =P
o aw..for a summary..my mood is like a hmm dunno wad graph..but its up down up!..haha

lets start w e up part 1st..
woke up in e morning..wanted to do my lit essay but end up watching slam dunk animation..haha e game of shohoku vs ryonna..v nice..haha so was feeling kind of up n high..

went trng..n thats when my mood goes down down down till i dunno wad valley is that man..shugs i realli hate myself for tinking that way..i hate myself for this..i hate myself for that..n this is e 1st time i found out e use of a big towel..cz usually my towel is v small..but today i used e nike big big gym towel that mei got for mi..haha so shuang..big dao i can cover my whole head..

aw thats nt e main pt..but actually it is..i jus covered my head w e towel n faced e wall n cried..yah thats how sucky i felt..i jus cried like how uozumi did..felt like shit..s-h-i-t shit!..i tink henry saw..but nbm..den ly was asking too..but nbm..i was too spaced out to explain..was jus holding bac my tears on court..cz if cry on court..its jus wrong..so i held it bac..or rather i swallowed em down..its wu nai till max de gan jue..its wanna feng diao de gan jue..its e 1st time that thinking of npo n sakuragi n wanting to fight hard like em no longer works..its jus..i nd to cheng xia qu..i nd to..i cannot..its jus tt little tiny bit of mi dat dun wanna allow myself to cry on court..

n yah..realli sorry ah sh..today i was realli like a crazy gal..e fouls on u r realli bad..sorry sorry..
yah..i felt like shit after trng..n there is this stupid splinster on my finger that goes deeper n deeper each time i bounce or shoot e ball..*ouch*..n i can't get it out =(..yah..so realli is spaced out..hai..i suxz..n realli quite sad tt cp is injured de la..den ly also..injuries go away! =(

aw after e super duper down down valley trng..took e v long 67 n had our anninversary! haha 14/4/05 ...2yrs later..14/4/07..haha at 1st it was kinda of..but it got better..haha we had a cake summore =P n i m admit i m such a gossip n grumble queen..jus dun get mi started..if nt..opps i m sorry..believe it or nt..there's a devil and a angel within u =X i felt so la..cz everytime when sum "-" thoughts emerge..e angel will try to say ae..shh get away..shoo shoo..but e devil will be like..wth but i realli feel this way wad..haha aw nbm..thats nt e main pt..i noe i grumbled a lot..haha but i did hold my peace (eh..sh..lend mi use a while hor =P)..dere r still many other things which i din say n i kept it in..swallowed it bac..cz sum things r jus nt meant to be said =P..

haha aw..hanging out w ahs dudes r jus so much more relaxing..jus 1 side..tt's enough =)
haha hao la..since i kept my peace i shall cont keeping it..
thanks my ahs team..hee love ya..

hao la..i shall end here le..take gd care every1..byee..

p/s. maybe i shuld jus cum face to face w it..
i m sorry..but it matters..

][.FEarless.][
][.a min of silence.][

][.strains.][

][.strains.][

i m feeling e pain here dere everywhere..
n i hate feeling so achy-ish..
aw nbm..cz even if i mind..wad can i do rite? =P..

haha finally gt my hair chopped off..
not much of a different..i felt..
but sum stupid pig says it looked like a helmet..qu si ba ni =P

hmm den wad else..2 bi jiao interesting de things of e day..
1) got back pw results..got a B..hmm ok la..i tink..i dunno..but when all those ard u dou get As..felt kinda of lousy..but nbm..ren yao you zhi zi zhi ming =)..haha aw congrats to all tt gt A! =) jing,fungi,mama jan,matong! haha n hi5 wen! =P

2) i had 2 rounds of dinner..1 round be4 i went to cut my hair..n e other after tt..n omg i m still snacking nw..sinful dao max! dou shi lin lao fern's fault! pig la! e auntie n uncle still lol n say steady ah..2nd round! *faints*..so embarrassed la..

n now i m bac hm..so tired..dunno why also..wanna slp le la..tml's trng is afternoon! i hate hafing trng in e noon..bu san bu shi..wan to do wad also cannot..n tml supposed to haf gathering w ahs team de leh! haha hope it will still go on la =)..

haha hao la..i m realli tired le..take gd care every1! byee..

ps. fri e 13..n i was realli suay in e morning..=X

][.FEarless.][
][.Gua Mu Xiang Kan.][
][.jing quan li zai fei qi lai.][
][.xiang shi jie zhen ming wo chun zai.][

][.thanks for allowing mi to breathe for another day.][

][.thanks for allowing mi to breathe for another day.][

i m jus so glad that i survived today..
woke up..or rather be4 i fell asleep..i was almost 99.9% sure that i can't survive e day..
cz its has been so so so so long or rather i had nv slept for onli 2hrs den start e whole day..
was so tired n so scared that i wuld throw my temper la..
n yah..was so scared that i wuld be carrying this black face ard w mi e whole day..
cz mood in influencial n i dun wan to spread it on la..
but opps..i tink i did..was stoning whenever i had e chance..
realli v tired dao dun feel like doing anything that kind..
den during econs lect..or rather be4 it start..i was kinda of high..but i noe that e nxt moment, i wuld quieten down..its always e case..so was trying to draw this sakuragi pic but i failed la..hai..i realli admire that who can draw n who can play any musical instrument..=)

ok..so e rest of e lesson was realli dragging n dragging myself thur it..cmi le man..den trng..so suay..my left eyelid twitch none-stop n yeah man..jammed my fingers..both stupidly..maybe its time i drink more milk again..ok..i m laming..ignore mi..but i m jus so so tired nw..

hmm n yah..if u miss sum1 or haf e sudden urge to listen to this friend's voice n tok a little..dun hesitate to make a call yeah..cz i jus made 1..n e voice alone soothens n made my day =)

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.status : 101% fatigue.][

][.tong hua.][

][.tong hua.][

today's blog title is kinda of random..but its not without reason..
aw it's been so long since i reached hm so early..like 6plus..
had e subway cookie that i had been craving for since bball camp..
den came hm for dinner..
read e newspaper n nua awhile..
started doing maths onli to find myself lost n lost..gg deeper into e jungle w no exit..
so e coward me chose to say goodbye to it..
was listening to yes933 n praying for a miracle that music diary wuld suddenly be broadcasted again..i realli missed e programme..
but nbm..yes933 do haf v nice songs..
den nw jus as i m bloggin..
i m listening to tong hua by junyang..
n be4 that..jus a moment ago..ma li was saying abt e biggest ferris wheel in s'pore is built hao le..

haha ferris wheels made reminds mi of fungi..dun ask mi why..it jus strucks mi..n i guess it's gg to be damm ex to get on to that ferris wheels n i nv was a ferris wheel craze..but i jus haf e sudden urge to go on it at nite n see e nite view frm there..den jus as i was emo-ing abt e ferris wheel..tong hua began..tell mi how can u not be sunk deeper n deeper..n now it's another sad song on yes933..if nt wrong it's ru qiao ying's de v popular de..4get e song title thou..haha see la see la..so long nv listen to yes933 le..n when i listened to it..it jus..haha its jus my fav channel..aw its zhi shao zhou de bi ni zao..wahaha i meant e song title..

o shugs i m bloggin without thinking..i tink my fingers r e one moving..nt my brain..cz as u can see..i dunno wad i m typing..i tink i m a little tired le la..haiz..haven do hist essay yet..=(..

hao la..shall end here le..take gd care every1!..byee..

ps.aw e person who wrote in to yes933 so ke lian..so sad..e song on yes933 nw is "first love"..
o mian..sad songs day..

][.FEarless.][
][.i wanna be on e ferris wheel with u all.][

][.a smile on my face as i thought of all these.][

][.a smile on my face as i thought of all these.][

i m looking forwards to wed n sat thou its only e 1st day of e wk which is mon =P..

i m looking forward to wed cz thou it wun ba like sss day..but it jus sumhow reminded mi of sss day last yr =P ah ha n dun ever under-estimate how tiring building sandcastles can be man =P haha..n woo hoo..so fast..another yr had past without us knowing..its amazing isn't it..those that ard u had grew..stepped into e society etc..n soon it will be my turn..haha lol aw i m looking forward to e sss =D hee

den nxt..sat..haha i hope e outing will be a successful one..cz its e 2nd yr anniversary..wahaha 14/4/05= unforgettable =P..hope e outing will be a successful 1 n hope every1 can make it ba..n as i tot abt that..i tu rang xiang dao..e power of 10..it seems that every yr when i take even no. its better..hee look at sec2 n 4..n i m tinking if i shuld cut short hair once again..haha yeah man..i m superstitious..but who cares..1++ mre wks to e comp..shall decide as e days go by..wadever i m crapping man..

haha hmm wad else..jus wanna say jia u every1 ! keep n faith n fight on!..a road w no obstacles will be a road that lead u to nowhere =)..so jia u yeah! i believe u all can do it de..be it for studies, for life..for wadever it is..jia u!

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.winning is nt everything but wanting to is.][

][.wad m i tinking.][

][.wad m i tinking.][

wanted to blog ytr nite..but was too tired to do so..so i shall blog abt it nw..=)

ytr trng was..erm i dunno..i onli noe that e sun is ma chiam peeling my skin off n i can feel that my temper was on e constant rising..like ya..i was telling myself cannot lose ya temper becoz of e weather ah..constantly reminding myself that..aw thats nt e main pt..dere's so much to improve on..

aw yah so after trng went for lunch w chew peng at e airport..haha den talked abt ahs bball life..like which batch n which batch we like e most..den we both agreed that we like my sec4 yr..her sec3 yr e most..haha act i said sec2 too..but that bhb de say i shuld like sec4 de yr de more..cz sec4 yr gt her =_=:: aw thats nt e main pt la..but ya..den we talk n talk den i discovered that act we onli played tgt for a yr be4..but why does it seems like we had played tgt for so long?..den as i tink bac..tink bac e sec sch life..hmm sec4 1 was e one that i remembered e most ba..cz its most memorable? haha i dunno..but yah..

aw after that i came hm to bathe 1st be4 meeting em to study at e airport..din manage to do much cz was realli tired..den jiu nua n stoned a bit be4 dinner..hmm den called fungi cz nana wan to ask her a chem qn but dun dare..but aw..thats nt e main pt too..after that i received a msg n i realli dunno how to reply initially..i tink my replies disappointed that person ba..but i realli dun dare to give any promise..cz i m realli tired of all those n i realli feel that living in this manner is so much better..i m a coward..i dun like to quarrel..jus peace..i love to live in such peace..

so..nana n chu was talking abt sum stuffs which was rather similar to mine..yah..jus that their's 4yrs whereas mine is 8yrs..yah friendship prob..n i started thinking..why did everything ended up this way?..why is it so?..den e songs on my mp3 was coincidentally my friendship folder..so many things n memories began their like u noe..flashbacks..n i realli thought abt lots..

why wuld sumthing end up in this way?..
i questioned myself..
is it becoz of my stubborn bull attitude..
is it becoz of..
is it becoz of..

i noe its realli childish n no logic to many others that why wuld things turned out in this way..
sum1 v impt said we had been trying so hard to maintain e friendship btw us..5 of us..n that they feel e pain too..n all she hope for is for us to patch up asap..i realli stoned at e msg..i realli did..i dunno wad to tell her..i m realli v sorry..n i dun wan to make em sad..but e thing is..i realli haf no confidence that things wun turned out this way anymore..cz once n again..things go wrong..n i realli hate it..i hate e situation..i hate myself..i hate her..i realli hate everything..thats why i chose to remain in this way..which at times i felt that i m escaping from e prob but at least i noe that there wun be anymore problem anymore..

after all these months and all these quarrels..i realli learnt sumthing v impt..u realli can't take ya words n hurt inflicted bac..no way can they ever be erased..a human brain ain't like a computer..dere is no backspace..dere is no delete..dere is onli enter..yup it's impt to cherish n treasure..n i m realli being v stubborn..i came up w this myself.."cherish e present when u haf it..n when u lost sumthing..its fated..dun turn back le.."..yup..i realli can't turn bac n accept wadever it is nw..cz i noe deep down in my heart how i m feeling..it's disgusted..it's escaping frm reality..it's so much that i dunno how to let u noe..or rather i can't bear to let u noe my dear friend..

hao la..end here le..i dunno wad i m bloggin..jus as i dunno wad i m tinking..jus take gd care every1!..byee..

p/s : fungi..i realli treasure e friendship btw e 5 of us..but can we jus remain this way..cz sumthings r realli hard to be explained..

][.FEarless.][
][.escaping from e world.][

][.focus.][

][.focus.][

i m aware of e amt of limited time that i m left for ct2 n for e real BIG thing..e As..but my mind jus can't seem to get down n concentrate on my studies..hate myself for that..n yet at e same time i can't help it..

read 3 diff bball comic for today..dear boys, cross-over n slam dunk..o mian n i jus can't wait to play bball tml..yah..thats all i m feeling now..i wanna play..i wanna play e game seriously (doesn't meant that i wasn't serious last time =P)..yah..

so wad if u dun recognise mi?..
i tink i m nt gg to be bothered by it anymore..
i wanna play..
i wanna improve..
i wanna enjoy..
i wanna prove u wrong..
i wanna win..=]

][.FEarless.][
][.101% focused.][

][.press on.][

][.press on.][

VJ attack!
VJ defence!
VJ lets go!

today is a nice day..i tink =) haha ended sch at 12:45 den tok tok w mr sayers n i tink he is a realli nice tutor..he makes mi love hist more..in fact i haf v gd hist tutors for eg.ms edna tan n ms goh..haha i tink i m blessed to haf such gd tutors..=)

haha aw thats nt e main pt of my blog today =)..hee so after that went to pp w sh to coffee beans! haha drank e usual mocha ice-blended w whip cream *sinful* whereas sh drank e white white 1..ok i m lame..ignore that..hmm gg to coffee bean n drinking that drink nv fails to remind mi of studying for my promos (last yr) and res etc..haha nv knew it culd be so nice to be sitting ard n tok..this is my 1st time doing so at coffee beans..cz usually dou shi mus pia for e upcoming papers le..so no time to so relax n tok n watch e world goes by =P but yeah man i got to do it today n it was nice =D xie lo sh XD..

haha lol so after that went bac for trng..den there was team talk..haha hmm shall nt go into it..cz too much to say le..but yup i realli felt more motivated after e team talk..but like wad sh say..i tink all these shuld nt be onli be said..it shuld be actions..wad u do instead of wad u promise..so yeah man..haha den today de trng hai man slack de..cz after do 60 center moves jiu play 5 on 5..hmm i realli felt gd abt today's 5 on 5..i tink i m too noisy thou..but thats nt e main pt..i tink today's a real game..its nt e best game..but its a real game..n i m glad to play such games..it reminds mi of e 5 on 5 we played in ahs..eh..dun misunderstand ah..i m nt comparing this 2 teams ah..i jus felt that it is better to play like this..encourage each another n push yaself to e max..like v tired le still will go bac defense etc..i like it..i like it this way..so pardon mi for being so noisy =X cz i feel more energinzed to play onli den..=) haha lol so i realli pray for this kind of spirit to go on! jia u VJ! lets make it a gd season..cz like wad sh say..v sadly de..this will be our last sch season le ! so lets make it a gd n memorable 1 yeah! =D

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..its gd friday le..enjoy ya day! =D

ps. o n yah..haha 0254 nice toking to u =P jkjk..jia u for ct ah! =D

][.FEarless.][
][.LETS GO!.][

][.mood=sin graph.][

][.mood=sin graph.][

i m hafing a sin graph mood today..its till e max n happy pt den till e min n upset,disgusted n sad pt..mamajan drew a graph on my SEA paper n showed mi my mood for today..n i can't help but agree w her..so shall blog down my sin graph day..


#my dull n boring day which is nt e main pt of my blog today..
morning was e max pt..feeling quite gd de..jus v tired..ytr was min graph so slept v early..after e morning max pt..i did gym..was my min pt..realli sweat lots n quite tired de..esp e twisting w medi ball..after gym went to find e mamas to eat..max pt again..partially becoz of food n partially becoz of i dunno wad..den lit lect..hmm mamajan gave us chocs n i felt rather crappy n high de..so thats my max pt..den lit tut was ok still..den hist tut..min pt..its nt that i dun like hist..i love hist..but sea hist is jus tramatising..too much man..e links that is drawn from here to dere..ah! screams i jus can't get it..after that went to e gym alley be4 econs remedial..its was..erm i dunno..i rather keep my silence..after that econs remedial in e pt..i tried to listen but apparently nth goes in..den after that is my max max pt of e day..went to pp to meet a pig who told mi that she is full n yet we bought so much to eat..it was realli gd..haha i mean e food n meeting up w tooty =P

alright here cums e min min min damm pt of my day!
1st-ly when i took 3 hm..i saw this gal who brought her bbt onto e bus n 2 gals who was eating bread on e bus! i m realli freaking disgusted by their actions la! dun they freaking noe that it's no food n drinks on e bus?! i tink eating already v bad le..guess wad..that damm irritating disgusting gal din bring her empty cup to throw away when she alighted la! disgusting piece of shit! i swear i hate this ppl man! cum on..u already break 1 rule le..n worst still u break e other by nt dispossing ya damm rubbish..dun u noe that u r freaking making e bus dirty n worst still wad if there's ants ? so damm inconsiderate!! after she (e freaking irritating shit) alighted..this lady commented on her la..n i agree w her..if my kid or siblings ever behave in that way..i swear i m so gg to hit em right smack n hard on e face! so irritated by these disgusting lousy ppl!

2nd-ly came hm to hear mummy scolding didi..so darn pissed off by her scoldings thou she is nt scolding mi la..but yah..den after i heard wad went wrong..i scolded didi..super irritated..n i m also disgusted at how selfish e world can be la..e kids nowadays n all..so disappointed by this ugly world..n this is e 1st time i agree w e words on my shirt that i bought at ice lemon tee => "If u tink every1 is gd, den u haf yet to meet everybody!" hate this world for being so selfish..hate it !!

yup ok..so thats my min pts..i realli dun und why can ppl be so selfish..can't they jus be more considerate..why can't life be simple? why can't ppl be helpful? i realli dun understand! is it realli so freaking hard? why can't that damm gal throw her own cup away? why can't e kids be honest n return my bro his stuffs? why is this world turning uglier day by day? is this wad e real world is like? i noe it is..but i jus hate it!

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! sorry for e sinful lang that i used..realli disappointed w e ugly world..byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.quality > quantity.][

][.ups n downs.][

][.ups n downs.][

when things go wrong..
when sadness fill my atmosphere..
when e tears were falling..
u came n caught it..
n my load became lighter..
thank you..
thanks for e phone call..u nv knew how much it made mi felt better..thanks =)

had an unfriendly friendly n i mus thank 3 person in particular..thanks da 1031! thanks auntie joy! thanks mummy! thanks for hearing mi grumble..thanks for ya encouragements..thanks for ya understandings..thanks! u all realli made mi felt much better =) xie xie ni men =)

hmm thanks auntie joy for ya nice nice n meaningful words..its abt e differences that u r able to make! i will rmb that always de..=)

haha..thats abt it ba..nt realli in a mood to blog..take gd care every1! byee..

i m nt missing u..=x


][.FEarless.][
][.press on.][

][.new ear piece.][

][.new ear piece.][

after a wk w/o being able to listen to my mp3..i finally get to do it again le! cz due to wen's gong lao..i bought e ear piece le..hee kinda like e colour de wow..haha aw thats nt exactly e pt la..i jus like it n will hao hao take care of it de..i promise..cannot spoil it again le ! haha

hmm had fish n co..feeling sinful n fat =P haha n i m super dark again..its dark n red n soon e red-ness will be gone n i will be darker than be4 due to today's trng..

n hmm today is a okok day ba..cleared sum misunderstandings w sum pig which was due to our hp's miscommunications..haha den wen w her lame-ness..toking to fungi..jing etc..seeing em jus make mi feel so much better..so much..=) thanks pig..

haha n i haf been repeating 3 songs over n over again..shugs i m feeling so tired le..hao ba..shall go rest le..tml zai do my hw =P

byee every1! take gd care..

][.FEarless.][
][.wo hui hao hao guo.][

][.its over.no pt forcing it =).][

][.its over.no pt forcing it =).][

1st-ly be4 i start this post that i feel that is going to be kind of sad etc..i mus do sumthing v important 1st..HAPPY BIRTHDAY lqjl! haha ok..hmm i noe thats jus mi being lame but yah..realli shen shen de zhu fu ni..aw its 30/3 nw..but by e time i finish e post..it wuld be 31/3 le ba =P

n i guess i will nv forget this day ba..cz its e day which i finally sorted out my thoughts..its abt how i shuld break e news to e 2 other 2 ba le..aw lets start w my day ba..it was nt exactly a gd 1..started off w stomache..shugs..so after that gp..maths..lit..econs..sports day..haha e lame lame de 8 x 50..den e nice nice de cheer leading..n when sports day commence..there was a little memory lane in mi that was gg thur a roller coaster..memories abt last yr's sports day came bac..bit by bit..so many a time i felt like sending u a msg to let u noe that..hey its sports day again..rmb last yr? i realli wanted to..but i din..cz i m afraid that i wuld end up waiting like a fool once again..n i und..e enviornment realli changed =)

so thur'out e whole sports day..i wasn't exactly in my best of mood..cz i was tinking of last yr n all e bits n pieces of memo..den requested to do crunches etc outside..cz i wan to c e sky..i wanna relax..n so many things ran thur my mind during that period of time..realli..i can hear my heart shouting..i noe how i felt..but i noe..i haf to get use to this no matter wad..

after that went thaipan w sh,chu.melia n moi..it realli cheered mi up a little w all e gossipping etc..but sumthing happened after that which i haf no wish to elaborate..but i m jus so thankful that wen is on earth n that i met her! wen..i m sorry for tiring u out w all that happened btw us..but i guess that wuld be 1 of e last..cz i guess..we jus haf to believe in wad my mummy says ba..yuan fen yi jing..when fate is up..there's no pt carrying on n forcing it..n jus as wad u said..our characters realli dun match..n this time round..i guess u resigned to wad my mummy said too ba..its jus fated to be over..no pt forcing n carrying on..n this time round..i noe u und..i noe u und how i feel n wad i m doing..with u understanding e situation n calming mi down..it realli feels so much better..sorry for all e sinful things that i haf said to pollute ya ears..thanks wen..thanks for understanding..my faithful lifetime friend..=)

aw yup..i guess its tiring to quarrel n patch up n repeat this process over such a short period of times..told wen that i used to believe that we dun haf to be afraid..cz i noe n believe that e friendship that is shared btw e 5 of us can withstand all quarrels n get better..but after all these that haf happened..i noe it can't..n i dun wanna try anymore..realli tired n sick of it..its enff..lets jus end it peacefully this way ba..no pt toking over it..cz its nt e 1st time..its been e dunno how many times since e 1st quarrel last yr..so lets jus end it peacefully ba =) sorry for rejecting ya calls..but i guess u will und mi in times to cum..thanks for all that u had did for mi thou..n yup..believe mi..it takes so much for mi to make this decision..so i wun change my mind..i guess we wuld be better off this way..=) realli..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

p.s aw sorry sh,chu n melia for dampening e mood..=)

][.FEarless.][
][.lets end it this way.][
][.its fated.][

][.n i know.][

][.n i know.][

currently i m listening to zhang xue you's bie wen ?
haha i dunno wads e title of e song..

but e chorus goes sumthing like this..
wei shui fang qi yi qie
[who did i gave up so much for]
wo bu zai shi wo
[till e extent that i m no longer who i m]
shui you shi shui
[so who is who]
bie wen wo de shang
[dun ask abt my wound]
bie wen wo de tong
[dun ask abt my pain]
bie wen wo de xin zhong shi fo zai liu xue
[dun ask if my heart is bleeding]
bie wen wo shi fo xin yi sui..
[dun ask if my heart is broken]
haha din like e song when i 1st heard it..but nw i tink its quite nice la..aw thats nt e pt of me blogging today..=P

hmm ok..so had friendly w sajc today! haha saw ah sam mei =P ok jkjk..haha thanks for e lychee ice =P hee..n hmm nw i m bac hm..hm sweet hm..guess today is overall a gd day ba..=] i m so looking forward to sat..zhu tous! u all r missed! hee

hmm dunno why..but i suddenly tot of wad i told u dat day..i told u that u changed..however now as i looked at wads going on..i wan to take bac my words..u din change..its e environment that we r in nw that has changed..i guess wad i haf been praying for not to happen had happened n i guess after all these days..i m getting used to it..realli..its realli quite hard to keep up w each another jus as wad we used to..msgs r replied after a long time..i started off w e hope that u wuld reply almost immediately jus as be4..however i noe u can't cz of work etc..n e working hrs etc..its realli hard..*shrugs*..i was realli nt used to it..i realli couldn't get use to it..wanna share w u e joy n pain jus as be4..however u can't be dere jus as be4..or rather can't be dere on time..n when its over..i m too tired to rake everything up again..so things go unsaid..n as days go on like this..i find myself getting used to it n find myself becoming more independent n shares lesser n lesser w u..i m realli afraid that we wuld drift further n further apart..so be4 all these happens i jus wanna blog down n let u noe that (although u most prob wun be reading this post) i m realli grateful to haf u in my life..

music diary once said =>"diff friends will acc u thur diff period of time"..so i guess u r e 1 that acc mi thur my j1 period ba..thanks..thanks lots..this goes out to all too..thanks for being in my life =]

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.when things go unsaid.][

][.n i smiled.u made my day.][

][.n i smiled.u made my day.][

its amazing how sum1's msg can plaster a smile onto ya face..
its amazing how u wuld grin from ear to ear at ya hp like sum idiots isn't it?..
i dunno..
but if u feel that sum1 who did that is an idiot..
den i mus confess..
i am..=D

my day wasn't exactly gd..neither was it exactly bad..it was jus a day of mini roller coaster..started w arts day n no balloons from e balloon man =( haha ok..thats jus mi being lame..den got bac gp..wow..although my gp was always bad..but this was e worst..din felt much for it thou..cz kinda of expected it..den mr khoo's hist lect which i was haha u noe i noe..preparing for e present la..hmm den heart sank when moi told mi over e phone that e pictures that she helped mi develop are darn ugly..n e bu zhi hao dai de jia huo repeated that twice!! i almost told mamajan to hold mi bac be4 i "kill" her..after that we watched "13days"..it was quite gd (i guess) but it was like fighting a cold war inside (mr khoo's joke) n today is a darn forgetful day w mi forgetting to bring my jacket,waterbottle, pen and eraser..wow..

after e whole sch day ends at 5..rushed to parkway n rushed e present..was realli tired n trying to rush out e whole bday present by today..n when it was finally completed..it was satisfaction n hope that lqjl will like it..cz i m quite man yi w it de..haha n e pics din turned out as bad as moi said..if nt i realli will..haha jkjk..gt this v nice thingy to put e present den buddy n moi also help mi paste e plastic bag w double sided tape..haha xie lo..n yeah..present handed over w my zhu fu(s)..hee after that stayed to record hm u vs qian xi's game..

however all my highness was trampled when i came bac to reality..i hate myself for not feeling e stress of studies which i ought to feel cz of my grades..told mummy i passed..but that dun mean anything..pass w/o a gd A lvl grade means nothing..that was wad she told mi..i told her that i haf to take 1 step at a time..n she asked mi how much time m i left w..*shrugs*..she won..i realli dun haf much time to improve that much le..n yet i m still feeling so relaxed here..can sum1 pls give mi sum pressure..

yup..so was kinda sianz till i heard that msg tone..=>"bei ban"..n i knew i m gg to smile..haha n yup i did..was realli glad..it cheered mi up..n it reminds mi of e past once again..so fast another yr haf past..i dunno how many more yrs will i be doing this..but i m realli glad to haf u in my life..sum1 who give mi e motivation to play on n study hard..was afraid that u wun like it..but phew..*relieved*..haha e nv fail to make my day n make mi smile even in my darkest moments..

haha hao la..shall end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.sharpen ya elbows n fight hard.][
][.i will be dere to support no matter wad.][

][.silence.][

][.silence.][

sumtimes i realli feel that silence may be e best..
its not that i haf nothing to comment abt..
but its jus that so wad if i comment abt it?..

haha every1 will haf their own views..
every1 sees things from their angle..
so even if u tell em ya views from ya angle..
they may nt be able to see it too..

haha so i rather keep my silence..
no pt forcing em to tink wad u tink..
isn't it? =)
or rather..
u noe u can't..

haha hao la..end here le..i dunno wad i m crapping abt..maybe when i get my thoughts straightened out..i will let u noe again..(if u r interested in my craps la =P) byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.is my way of communication.][

][.cheng mo shi yin wei wo bu zhi ru he biao da le.][

][.cheng mo shi yin wei wo bu zhi ru he biao da le.][

today or rather ytr was a day filled with happiness n sadness..

yup..

it was a mixture of both..

happiness cz i get to meet forever5 n floating gang..

happiness cz i noe that there's always n forever this reliable lifetime friend who will be dere..

a lame one but i noe always a great one too =)

thanks for jus being dere n acc-ing mi wen..

it was more than enff..

u cheered mi up unknowingly..

u made mi feel so much better n comforted jus w ya presence when u culd be off sumwhere else..

thanks my dearest lifetime friend

thanks for being there when i needed u e most =)

thanks so so so much..

i m realli grateful but words ain't enff to express my heartfelt thanks to u..hope u got it..=)

sadness cz it's no longer e 1st time..

i m realli lost for words..

so i remained speechless..

i m disappointed..

but yet there's nth i can do..

i guess i m nt gg to do anything le ba..

maybe thats to avoid further disappointment..

n i noe w that..

i m risking sumthing..maybe even our friendship..

cz if i dun do anything..

i noe u most prob wun too..

i m sorry that i din accept ya apology..

cz why din u do that face to face?..

n haf u ever tot of how communicating online or via sms etc is hard to noe how 1 is realli feeling at e time?..

cz this v moment..

i m tearing..do u even noe?..

end here le..take gd care every1..byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.n i can't help e tears falling.][

][.Hana Kimi.][

][.Hana Kimi.][

wahaha yeah man..i noe i m slow..but i finally finished watching it le ! wahahaha..hmm dat show ah realli let mi lol n lol thou got a few parts u will feel e tinge of pain la..hee

aw..its currently 12:29am on a sat morning..but still feeling quite high de..haha hmm e ending ah..hmm hope there's a sequence? haha if thats how u spell it..

haha hmm yah..nt in e right mind to blog much abt e show nw..so yah shuld end here le ba..n yah..my back hurts..i tink its e standing broad jump de impact ba..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! n hope tml will be a gd day for u and for mi and the entire human race ! =P byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.10.fe.15.][

][.Ekam Eveileb.][

][.Ekam Eveileb.][

is it e mind ?
is it e heart?
i dunno..but these 2 r realli influencial..
at least thats how i felt..

u influence how ur mind n heart tinks n feels..
if u feel that everything is gg to be ok..sumhow it will get better..
if u feel that everything is crumbling down..it wuld crumble faster than it actually wuld..
thats how i haf been feeling..

always rmb wad music diary said yrs ago..
mood is like a diease that spreads to ya friends..
if u r happy..they will absorb into ya happiness n feels gd too..
vice versa..

n there was this meaningful e-mail too..
sum1 smiled at mi n i smiled back..
i carried on e smile on my face n smiled to sum1 else down e road..
e person smiled bac..
n i knew that he is gg to carry e smile down e road n pass it on to another person =D..

yeah man my friends..if u ain't exactly in ya best of mood..
try smiling..it do helps at time..
n it wuld onli help if u allows it to..
a lot of things are possible..
it onli depends if we allow em to be possible..

dun feel that everything is crashing down on u..
always rmb this..
we haf food..
we are clothed..
we haf a roof abv our head..
we r jus so so so much fortunate than many others on earth..
sumtimes we r jus so fortunate that we sit down n rants on abt how bad life is..
rmb this..if things are so bad..it can't get any worse..

haha i dunno why i m blogging all these..
i ain't in my best of moods too..
but still feeling positive abt life..
maybe its becoz of e bk that i jus finished reading ba..-> If you culd see mi now..
its a cliche gd bk..
love it..

hao la..take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.fight hard.][

][.invisible field.][

][.invisible field.][

You can have plenty of conversations with people, meaningful conversations, without getting too personal. There's a line, you know, like an invisible field ard ppl that u jus knew not to enter or cross..- "If you could see me now" [Cecelia Ahern]

reading this bk now..sum may say its a cliche love story etc..but i kinda of love it..n wad i blogged abv was wad caught me..yup n i agree completely w it..every1 haf a protective layer..sum little secret that he/she noes no1 to intrude into..sumthing that is personal..i guess thats jus mi..i dun like to haf friends that r on e surface..

paiseh..on e mood to blog today..so pardon mi..read on onli if u r interested or haf e time..yup..i dun like those friendship thats on e surface..neither can i take it if u get into my life like so fast..i jus dun like e feeling..n i will walk away..i m sorry for doing that towards sum..but yah..haha thats jus mi..dun tink u noe mi so well..dun try to noe mi so fast..i will let u noe bit by bit when i feel comfortable abt opening up to u..yup..i dunno if u all agree w mi..but yah..dats jus mi..

den hmm wad else..ooo mr sayers showed us e entry grades for uni etc..to be frank..i realli feel quite inferior in my environment..sumthing that i had nv felt be4 in pri/ sec sch..its sumthing that i can't help at times..haha yah..aw abt e uni..since mamajan gave mi e nus brouchers that day..i gave thoughts to it..wad course do i wanna take?..will i be able to make it?..is it realistic?..n out of all these is..will i be able to make it?..my jc grades realli suxz..maybe its becoz e effort put in is nt enff..haiz i dunno..but yup..dun wan to lag n fall behind anymore..i wanna be dere..

thoughts running thur my mind..spaced out from e class while mr sayers talked abt e courses n e pay etc..while mamajan n matong discussed abt em..cz i was realli uncertain..nd a moment to myself..to tink..to stone?..i dunno wad exactly was i tinking..it was jus a blank..

alright..so e day cont w 4 overwhelming n tramatising periods of d.o.m which left mi all drained..den there was gym n hm sweet hm..haha

yeah man..i guess thats abt all le ba..hee hao la..shall end here den..n o yah..whatever i blogged is jus purely how i feel..so i m sorry if u dun agree w em yeah..tc every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.dun intrude others comfort zone.][

][.sorry.][

][.sorry.][

i can only say sorry to u..
i dunno wad else to say..
i m realli sorry to u..
apart from that i m realli speechless..
i hate e silence..
i hate to tok..
i hate to..
n u noe i m a coward who always run away n avoid e prob..
but thats onli when it cums to u n mi..
sumtimes i realli dunno wad to say..
ku xiao bu de..
i noe its my fault..
but to b frank..
i tink its unfair that i can't accept ya fault as a friend..
yah..hai..
i dunno la..
its all jus too confusing n tiring..

ok..on a lighter note..it was realli gd to haf u callin mi..its been quite long since we get to tok like this le..u brighten my day..=D haha den wen..thanks..xie xie ni..u made my day too..hee by the biscuit n everything..gan dong..

hmm hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.shi wo zhi ji xiang le tai duo, hai shi ni ye zai shan shuo.][

][.shi wo zhi ji xiang de tai duo.hai shi?.][

][.shi wo zhi ji xiang de tai duo.hai shi?.][

wad we haf been saying seems to haf realli happened..
tot today wuld be e day whereby all these thoughts wuld vanish after we meet..
tot that e times we spent wuld be happy..
tot that i wuld be able to share w u all that happened in my life these days..
but that was all tot that..
all that i assumed..
i m jus too wrong to haf hoped for so much..
i shuld nt haf been so hopeful n happy n anticipated so much..
e more hopeful u r..e greater e disappointment..
nw i und why ppl says that..

all that i anticipated turned out to be silence..
u told mi u din noe wad to say..
i tot for a moment..
n i din noe wad shuld i say too..
in e past even thou we meet everyday..dere's still so much to say..
but nw..
all that was left was silence..
silence was all that embraced us..
maybe i m being oversensitive..
maybe u r jus too tired out by work..
so m i..
but i was realli trying to nt dampen e atmosphere..
in e end..
i could nt helped it too..

u told mi u was sad that i alighted w/o saying gd bye..
so m i..
i m super sad n heart pained too..
do u feel it?..

ignore mi..maybe its e overwhelmed of tiredness that caused mi to be like that..
take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.i closed my eyes n allow e tears to flow as they wish.][

][.Zai Jian shi liu gei hui Zai Jian de ren.][

][.Zai Jian shi liu gei hui Zai Jian de ren.][

wahahaha! i m free..like after a wk after torturous CT..which i noe i m so gg to flunk it n yet i wanna get bac my papers n haf a gd laugh over it..n of cz serious reflections =..

haha ok..aw today was e last paper..went out w e concourse kids after that..haha was nice..e pursuit of happiness was nice too..haha e part knowing it to be a real life story jus strucks mi more..do u see e themes involved?? haha ok jkjk..nt doing lit here =P..i mean..hmm e care that parents haf for their kids..i tot of daddy n mummy while i watched e movie too..how they fend n care for us..how they sacrifice for us..n i m realli v gladful to haf em as my parents..is it parental instincts?..haha ok..nxt up..e guy is realli realli so brave la..so brave that when he finally broke down..u will feel e pain..n i tink wad he said to his son was realli so impactful and encouraging..at least that was how i felt..haha..so lets share..=>"Don't let any1 tell u that u cannot make it..Don't let any1 do that..not even me (Your Dad)..If u haf a dream, protect it..PROTECT IT and work for it.." haha its sumthing like this la..hee yeah man..protect your dreams dudes! haha seeing how he holds on and goes is realli..2 words..pei fu..haha

ok..so after that..neoprints..den haha walk ard..dead tired..haha but funny too la..thanks kid for spending this day of freedom from books with mi! haha if nt i will haf no idea how to rot n celebrate also..haha ok..so e trip bac w mamajan 1st saw us dragging ourselves..but after that as we started to tok abt e biggest n best ship on earth..haha ok..i mean friendship..haha felt much awake..haha hmm..so many thoughts ran sitmultaneously (if thats how u spell it)..haha so much so much..that if i wanna blog em down..it wuld be endless n repetitive of wad i haf always been bloggin..so 2 summary pts for all those that been thur my mind..1) friends are ppl u feel comfortable w n w em ard..there's always happiness..=) 2) u will noe how impt that person is to u when there r so many other places that u can go n yet at that moment..u chose to be dere w or for her/him =)..haha thats my summary..jus treasure your friends..there's many diff stages..diff types..but yup..haha do appreciate em huh! =]

haha ok..n yeah! its youtube time! haha..pls let mi rest a while ba..cz after this..it will be endless of camps for 5 straight days..no com..no bed..=( sighs..haha

hao la..end here le..heh heh was loading hana kimi meanwhile..so hope its done le..ooo n yah..e pics..haha for memos..n ya..jus in case u wanna noe abt e clorets lame pic..its part of e amt of clorets that i ate to keep myself awake n studying for CT =P haha..hao la..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.protect it.][

][.fei lun hai.][

][.fei lun hai.][

i mus be in my left mind..guess wad i haf been doing for e past 3 hrs ++?..

i was busy loading fei lun hai's songs to my mp3, hp n playlist..haha..

haiz..feels so bad for doing so nw..but can't help it..their slow songs realli captured my heart..n mus thank chew peng for sending all e songs! =D hee..

hmm today is another day..spent my day stoning by a corner at e lib..trying to study econs n stoning to e space..watching e crowd cum n go..e sky turning frm bright to glaring to dim n finally dark..yeah..spent 9 whole full hrs dere..

haha e part after that was fun..moi came,wen came n so did fungi..haha chiong-ing e prezzies w fungi was nice n fun..haha glad that all that we planned came out right..=D hee we can't spell success without U =D hee thanks uUuU love uUuU! hee..hmm love u all..haha..once again..u all made my day a even special 1..wif wen calling mi fei sub-consicously..*humPh*..haha sum1 being rejected for her vocal..ahem..jing dun sad la..sum1 rejected when wanna give us a hug..ahem..wen dun sad ah..n sum1 rejected when suggested a grp hug under e stars..ahem..me..haha it was fun..thanks zhu tous! n wen..once again..happy belated 18! hoped u like all these that we planned for u =D thanks for all that u haf done for us over e yrs =D

haha den nw listening to fei lun hai's songs..yeah man..haha mircale that i haven slp..but haiz ct shuld be doom lo..but nbm..shall work hard for e upupcuming papers den..hee

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.qing zai wo hou hui zi qian li kai wo.][

][.fei ni mo shu.][

][.fei ni mo shu.][

listening to fei ni mo shu nw..been listening to quite a few songs..v nice songs these days..songs that i can repeat non-stop on my mp3...blasting it like no1's business..trying to keep out e noises made by e world..i used to listen to mp3s w vol thats nt as loud but as days go by..i find myself increasing e vol bit by bit..in e attempt to nt listen to wads gg on..cz sumtimes its realli stressful n tiring to listen to it..

aw..ytr was wen's 18th bday! happy bday wen! *5miles* rmb u r loved by us! hee..n wen said sumthing that touched my heart "happiness is e best medicine"..yeah man..glad to noe that u r happy..so m i..=]

hmm den today..A lvls results..heart sank when i heard e results over e fone..today i finally understand wad mamajan meant when she said she was realli worried for her band jnrs results den..awaited their arrival..waited for em to get e results..praying hard n hoping that all will be gd..saw e calm-ness..saw e tears..it hurts..nt knowing wad to do..went for pasta..was raining like no1's business..pasta was nice..had been wanting to eat it since dunno when..

went airport to study for a while be4 cuming bac hm..haiz..there's jus so much things undone..but..bu neng fang qi..shall do wadever i can..

i tink..
unknowingly i haf hurted u as a friend once again..
i m sorry..
1's calm-ness brought abt my worries..
n e worries was diverted to u..
sorry for that..
it mus haf been hard..
cz i been thur these too..
sorry for all these..
but..
dui bu qi..
things changed a little..


][.FEarless.][
][.my heart can't lie.][
][.sorry.][

][.do not give up on things that make u smile.][

][.do not give up on things that make u smile.][

*burps* jus finished a packet of malay kway teo n mee..feels so irritated by myself for making such a harsh decision..cz e chinese kway teo further down was soo much cheaper..*sighs*..but nbm..haha everything happens for a reason!!

went to lib but wasn't productive at all..screams..or rather..not productive enff..had "fun" searching e links btw everything in D.O.M which all seems to link tgt..aw nbm haha..when popular after that n moi n mi digressed into buying things for ourselves..haiyo..

ok..today is quite a simple day..woke up at 4 thou..but miraculously..nt sleepy yet..ok..time to throw my rubbish n get bac to my rubbish...opps yah i mean my work..n shall go jog tml..if nt i m realli gg to roll on court 2 wks later..hee

take gd care every1 ! jia u ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.follow ya dreams.dun settle for less.jus cont climbing.][

][.n i smiled.][

][.n i smiled.][

sumtimes i wonder why..
sum ppl jus haf e ability to make u smile..
jus like how u guys make mi smile..
unknowingly..

thanks wen, 13/2,tooty..
hee
hao la..end here le..take gd care every1..byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.when i c u smile.][

][.confusion.][

][.confusion.][

mind is in a state of confusion..

for no reasons..

none of e songs on e playlist seems to suit my mood..

none seems to be e right song that i wanna listen to..

none of e pics seems to be e right dp..

none of it seems to be e right wall paper..

everything dun seems to be in place..

once again i feel like hiding..

nth seems to be right..

sighs..

breakfast at macs was gd in e morning..

afternoon was life at sph..

nite was nice w family..

my mind is already nt in e right state to use words..

so let e pics speak for mi..

sumtimes it hurts when every1 moves on w life..

seeing e once familiar figures busy w life..

leaving only their shadows casted behind..

which will soon disappears as e sun sets..

voices by e fone yet hearts nt in e conversations..

msgs appearing on e conversation box..yet..

i know..

i understand..

its nt their fault..

its jus..

every1 is too busy w life..

so m i..

i m guilty for all e aboves too..

sighs..

end here le..take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.when everything goes wrong.][

][.i jus feel like hiding.][

][.zhuan shu ri xian.][

][.zhuan shu ri xian.][

read mamajan's blog..hao true o..
"keep in touch"..
how often do u say that?
n how often do u actually do that?..

to keep e bond..
it realli takes e efforts..
e time..
everything..
but all i can say is..
when its kept..
it jus all feels so gd..

tml gotta go camp briefing..
all e process of saying hi to ppl that u meet twice a yr..
ppl who are nice n who u call friends..
but..
it jus all remains dere..

i dunno..
maybe its jus mi..
but i dun feel comfortable under such situations la..
dunno how to say..
but yah..

den i tot of wad mamajan says..
n 2 person flashes across my mind..
they r impt ppl to mi..
but how often do i get to keep in touch with em?..

ahh..ignore mi..
jus crapping my way ard..

hao la..end here le..nt much of a mood to blog..take gd care every1!..byee..n if any1 happen to flash across ya mind at this v moment after reading this crappy post of mine..jus drop em a msg to let em noe that they r nt forgotten ba =]..

][.FEarless.][
][.yong yuan wei ni men kai zhe.][

][.edge.][

][.edge.][

it is realli a miracle that i m still wide awake at this hr of time after a trng day..jus completed my dom essay which wuld spells dome for me if i dom to my bed w/o doing it..*o ok..ignore my craps*..

aw yah..realli quite a miracle that i m still so awake nw..mus be e red bull effect..which cost a bottle of h2o and a can of h2o according to sum lame fellow like moi..haha aw xie le..

hmm..felt kinda of depressed all of a sudden after reading sumthing n thinking abt sumthing..today has once again been a bad free-throw day..sumtimes it gets so tiring n irritating when u can't get sumthing right..it jus suxz..n when it isn't e 1st or 2nd but upteem times that u haf been changing it..been changing n changing e way to shoot free throw..this coach says this..that coach says that..n i jus can't do it..it suxz..felt so lousy..i can't even shoot properly..i hate it..laid on my back n gaze at e stars..thou jus s sheryl had said..it was too bright to c lots..but there was still sum which acts s a comfort..=) decided to feel "+" n work hard once again to get it right..giving up is nv e way out..

n yah..4gotten to mention how mr kwok told us abt our maths CT n how depressing n demoralising n stressed that i felt..haiz..endless topics for revision w only abt a wk left when i 1st started couting down w 7 wks left..time realli past n i haf done nth at all! *screamS*

den..reached hm n did e essay..n read sumthing..n it strucks mi..many a times..i do feel e same way too..spacing out from e world..live by myself..ignore how others feel..ignore wadever is gg on..jus live in my own world cz e world out dere is too tiring..

haiz..hao la..shuld end my depressing thoughts..they are bad for health! =P jus trying to psycho myself..ignore mi..ok..shall end here..take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.hanging on.falling off.dead.][

][.5miles.][

][.5miles.][

its over..finally..
yeah cross-country is finally over!..
realli v relieved n glad..i noe this is kinda of hilarious..
but i was realli scared..s in yah..haha
aw jus glad that its over..
kinda of sad too..cz our team..but nbm la..every1 did their best le !

but yup..hee aw went employer's hse today..hee played mahjong..haha quite fun see e da des again..haha =P den hmm wad else..lets go back to ytr la..

ytr was a family day..was quite gd..sang karaoke w my family..haha didi sang an jing for dunno how many times..was quite funny la..hee

hao la..nth much le..feeling quite gd nw..but..i noe i m so dead..so much uncompleted work..haiz..n ct is so near..i m so dead !

byee..take gd care every1!

][.FEarless.][
][.i m so dead.][

][.special people.][

][.special people.][

its gonna be chinese new yr tml!

had reunion w forever5 last nite..earned myself a 6mths old stomache..ate n ate..its was realli great to be w em..haha so fast..almost a decade had pasted..they grow n yet they dun seem to haf grew..=P..haha watched quite a few shows.."A moment to remember" => it was such a tear-jerking korean movie..*thumbs up*..den "sinking of japan" => fell asleep..*opps*.."Yours, Mine and Ours"=> it was quite a nice movie..sweet n simple..haha

came bac hm n did spring cleaning w didi n u will wonder how time realli passes without giving u a little space to breathe..i m becoming to feel that ah di is no longer e little cute bro that i used to haf =P but of cz he is still my bro la..haha..spring cleaning was gd..

den i came to my rm..looked thur my display set..maybe i shuld get a treasure box too fungi..get a treasure box to store all those meaningful stuffs from special people in my life..happened to c this bookmark n i smiled.."Excellence is not in being e best but is doing your best"..read n i felt realli touched..it was given to me last yr..sumwhere during my A div..e down down down into e deep valley period..it was given by npo..thanks jiao lian..your words were realli comforting n encouraging..xie xie ni..my idol..

haha hao la..kinda of tired =P shall go n rest a while..hee take gd care every1 ! byee...

][.FEarless.][
][.thanks for finding me.][

][.grouchy day.][

][.grouchy day.][

dere's couch potato..
n dere's grouchy me !
today is realli a v bad day!

*humph*..locker got busted by sum bastards..
was down w a flu..my nose dou wanna drop le..
den..file dropped..
den sum china scholar jus walked right into my face n sat on my seat at e concourse..
n i haf to find a new table..haiz..
suay dao maxz..
den today matong n sh dou nv cum..
onli left mamajan pei wo..
xie lo mamajan..=D

dragged myself thur e 4.8km run..
been so long since i ran for so long =P
hmm..it was..haha tiring la..
trng was ok..
i will try to like my team more..=D

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.watery eyes.][
][.falling sick.][

][.lifetime friends.][

][.lifetime friends.][

haha..today is once again a gd day!

xie lo shang tian !

haha

why is it that u guys can jus make my day so great?

e joys..

e laughters..

e foolishness..

e lame-ness..

everything..

haha u all made my day once again !..

haha so simple..

so sweet..

it jus reminds mi of e times when we were young..

soon it's gonna be a decade =D..

hee love u all..

looking forward to our reunion dinner ! =D hee

haha ok..today is a great day..shot my 1st 3pt in a game..went to orchad lib to read for e afternoon..=>lan qiu tian shi..that bk seems to be meant to be for mi =P..haha shall blog abt it after i finish reading it la..hee den met em for dinner n shopping in take was fun..haha our monkeys ! xie lo moi..haha..

hao la..tired le..end here liao..take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][

][.forever5.][

][.hana kimi.][

][.hana kimi.][

these few days..
nth makes my day better than watching hana kimi
n listening to its ost..
haha..
its all abt it =P
jkjk..

sch is as usual de tiring..
just hope everything will go well tml..
*pray*
hee..n when it do..i shall blog again..

hao la..end here le..byee..tc every1!

][.FEarless.][
][.knee : pain.][
][.xiuyi =D.][

][.team.][

][.team.][

e post below is based on my current feelings..sorry that u may nt agree with mi..but haiz..this is how i feel nw..i mus say that this team does haf gd times too but..haha..

define it..
i m kinda of guilty that i din go for team outing today..(sorry sh)
but to be frank..
i was kinda of relieve at e same time..
hmm i noe it's bad to be feeling that way..
but..
since last sat after friendly..
i dun feel like i m in a team..
i realli dun feel like..
wanted to blog abt it that day..
but wasn't realli in a mood..
so shall blog today instead..

it was realli disappointing when all jus walk away n can't even bother to wait..
dun they noe that mei2 is nt back yet n that i m waiting for her..
not even a single soul bother to stay n wait..
all jus left..
i was soooo pissed that i almost cried..
lucky daddy was sumwhere nearby..
n i decided to go hm with him..
was too disappointed to go for lunch w such a team..

rmb sum1 once told mi..
friends wun leave each another behind..
true friends will wait for u even if e others haf left..
i learnt abt it frm a friend..
n it is realli true..
its realli sweet n nice..

actually since quite some time ago..
i haf been tinking..
are we realli a team?..
its just too superficial..
is there realli a need to prove that we r realli a team?..
it's all in e heart isn't it?..
it's jus disappointing..
so much so that i can't be bothered with em anymore..

i tink i haf realli changed a lot..
i used to love n look forward to trngs in ahs..
i wanna win e title tgt w em..
i wanna play w em..
i dare to shout at em on court..
we jus shout at each another..
nt becoz we hate one another..
but becoz we wan each to perform even better..
at least that was how i felt..
but nt e way nw..

i miss my TEAM..
my ahs team..
i miss playing bball w a REAL TEAM..
i swear..
at least those team mates will wait for u to leave e place tgt..
together..
haf fun tgt..

trngs then was tgt..
was for e title..
but to be frank..
i m getting selfish..
i m playing bball nw becoz of my ahs team mates..
n becoz of myself..
i wanna improve..
i wanna get better..

during runs..
i m jus pushing myself to e max..
cz i dun wanna lose to em..
i wanna prove em wrong..
its jus tiring..
its jus too competitive that sumtimes i feel that i m suffocating..
i dun wanna push myself that hard anymore..
but deep down i dun wanna lose..
i hate it when they say ahs ppl can't run..
who are u guys to judge?..
no1 on this earth can n shuld judge e other person..

ok..ignore mi..
u can choose nt to agree w me etc..
i m also sorry for wad i haf blogged..
but that's how i haf been feeling..
its jus that i din say it out..
apart to those that realli bother to wait for mi in times of needs..
those that wuld wait for mi even when every other soul left..
those that realli cares for mi..
those that wun leave mi alone crying..
those that wuld truly stand by mi after a disappointing game..
that's wad i call true friends man..

wadever it is..maybe i m jus too disappointed that i rant on n on now..i do haf gd times in e team too..but it is jus too disappointing many a times..but wad can i say..since i do nt realli regard em as a team..as much as i try to..so..i can't expect em to do so too =)..nice yet nt nice..it's hard to define..jus too hard..

alrite..shall stop ranting on..today i went to pray..pray for those that matters to mi..realli hope that everything will go well n gd for em..i realli pray w my heart..hope it will all cum true..new yr is cuming..hope everything will turn for e better..=) n yup..today is overall a nt bad day..cheer up matong ! cheer up sh !

][.FEarless.][
][.friends are not abt quantity.its abt quality.][

][.thanks.][

][.thanks.][

ok..1st thing 1st..thanks heaven..
thanks for my not bad sat..
hee..thanks for making my day nt bad =)

friendly was ok..
shall nt tok much about bball..
its confusing..
tiring..
haha whatever will be will be ba..

bus-ride hm with daddy was nice..
tok all e way hm..
haha..

shopping for new yr clothes was funny n nice..
haha..gotcha my new yr clothes le..hee

dinner w forever5 was gd..
haha looking forward to our reunion dinner..

sun is nt bad too..

started w breakfast w my family..
went for a hair cut..
trng..
dinner..
home..

hee n yeah..hair is short 0nce again..hmm lets make it a new start ba..haha ok..nt in a blogging mood..haf lots to say thou..so summarized le ! haha ok..end here le..byee..take care !!

][.FEarless.][
][.sumtimes it will get confusing.][

][.sleep debt : cleared.][

][.sleep debt : cleared.][

felt like a pig for sleeping right after my lunch instead of doing my hw as intended..but woohoo..i realli enjoyed it..felt so much better after e sleep..haha jus reminds mi of my pw on slp..

hee aw..sumtimes its just so nice to be home early n tok to mummy, relax n do stuffs that i enjoy n wanna instead of staying in sch..its jus..hmm dunno how to say..terrifying?..i jus wanna get out of IT asap..instead of staying bac n nua in dere..

alright..realli pray n hope that tml will be a gd day! haha pray that everything wun be as bad as always for e friendly against rj..its jus terrifying to play..i dun mean playing w rj..but playing in vj..hate myself for nt being able to adapt to e stress still n can't even score e underbasket at times..it realli make mi damm angry w myself..like wad e hell r u doing man felicia? its jus an underbasket! hate it..hate that feeling..it nv happened when i was in ahs..so much haf changed..jus hope e sch season will be gd..win or lose..i dunno..depends..whatever will be will be..

haha ok..enff abt basketball ! also pray n hope that tml's outing w forever5 will be gd..but agrh..moi still nv reply mi! lalala..pray pray that it will be possible..nope! it mus be possible ! been so long since we met..

hmm ok..shall end here for today! take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.mei you ren neng qu dai ni zai wo sheng pang.][

][.Smile.cz ya smile is my reason to smile.][

][.Smile.cz ya smile is my reason to smile.][

Once received this msg..
Smile..cz ur smile is e reason for many others to smile..
at that instant..i onli tot that it was a sweet msg..
however..i realli felt so today..
believe mi..
nxt time when sum1 that matters lots to u..
ya family..ya friend etc etc..
when they smile..those that's deep from their heart..
u may nt haf noticed it..
but at that instance..
u wuld haf smiled too..
haha..
so yeah..smile my friends !
ya smile is e reason for many others to smile..
1 of which is mine =)

ooo alright..watched a show today..n it further affirms my beliefs of not leaving anything till a special occassion..or sumthing that u wanna say to sum1 till a special day..or quarrel w sum1..cz life is realli fragile..cherish it ! if there's sumthing that u wanna say..jus say it..so wad if ya frined may find u crazy n random?..its ok..jus say it..i believe that although they may say that.."ae..u siao ah.." but i believe that you would haf brighten up ya day n sweeten it =)

haha hao la..end here le..take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.so wad if they world puts mi down.][
][.ya smiles is able to lift mi up once again.][

][.I'll stand by you.][

][.I'll stand by you.][

how fragile life can be..
when death is sumthing that is so near yet so far..
sumthing that may struck without giving u a prior warning..
tink abt it..
wad if it happen to 1 of ya close one..*touchwood*
n u din get to say wad u wanna say to that person?..

jus remembered wad music diary once said..dun live in regret..dun leave anything that u wanna use to a special occassion..cz every moment is a special one..smile ! say wadever u nd to say..dun live in regret..

aw i realli like e lyrics..of this song..so there u go..think its damm meaningful..

I'LL STAND BY YOU

OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING YOU CONFESS
COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS

I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
SO IF YOU'RE MAD, GET MAD
DON'T HOLD IT ALL INSIDE
COME ON AND TALK TO ME NOW
HEY, WHAT YOU GOT TO HIDE?
I GET ANGRY TOO
WELL I'M A LOT LIKE YOU
WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS
AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE
LET ME COME ALONG
'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE WRONG

I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
AND WHEN...
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU,
BABY YOU'RE FEELING ALL ALONE YOU WON'T BE ON YOUR OWN

I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU

love e lyrics..thanks auntie joy..thanks wen..thanks =D

][.FEarless.][
][.i promise.][

][.take mi away from this tiring world.][

][.take mi away from this tiring world.][

i m tired..
i realli m..
its nt physically tired..
but mentally tired..

i m realli starting to get sick of it..
sumthing that meant so much to mi..
but it seems to be e core source of disappointment nowadays..
esp ytr n tooday..
its realli sad..
i m realli angry w myself for feeling that way..
i hate to feel negative..
i hate it..
yet negativity is all i feel nw..

haiz..realli tired..
i realli nd a break from this tiring world..
guardian angel..
pls take mi away for a moment..
i wanna rest..

i knew wad was going to happen..
n it realli did..
i expected it..
but nt at e moment when i feel like shit..
it jus makes everything worst..
nw all i wanna do is to slp..
slp like a coward n hope to escape from all e problems..
i m realli sorry towards u..
but i realli do treasure our friendship..its jus like how chong shang tian describes it..
however u nv seem to be able to feel that..
maybe i jus ain't gd enff..
maybe wad i haf been doing is nth..
i m realli tired..
i wun let go..
but i dun haf e energy to do anything right now..

ok.. shall end here..realli v tired..wanns escape from e world for a moment or so le..byee..

ps. thankie auntie joy! being able to solve e qn is 1 of my joys of e day ! thanks !

][.FEarless.][
][.status: dying.][

][.nostalgia.][

][.nostalgia.][

today had friendly w jurong sec..
won..
haha..nth much to say..
i m awake..
i realli am..
thats why i ain't feeling as much..

ok..ignore that..so after friendly..went to eat prata..but i ate kway teow instead..den went to island creamy for ice cream..wow its realli nice..n when i was there..i was tinking abt those ppl that i wanna bring em down to share e joy sumday..den i tot abt their schedules..haha n i miss em so..took pics w e team at island creamy..haha it was not bad..but haha yah la..those who knows me shuld noe that i do like to take photos..but today..i felt this strongly => its nt how nice e place is or etc..its e ppl that matters that makes e pic even sweeter..even valuable..

haha alrite..i realli thought abt lots of things at e ice cream shop..so after that sh n me went to jts..haha it was at ps..hmm went to play arcade n i finally found e vcd that i wanted to watch! ahahaha realli realli happy! was grinning like no1's business..n yah..i tot of wen la..she once told mi that she insist on finding sum show on her own..cz she feels that when she find it..she will be realli happy..i guess she did..n i did today !

haha ok..so after that we had jts at swensese..haha nt bad la..n here i m back home =P ooo n yah..how can i 4get that sh n me went to "shop" that i happen to cum across this line..its from the card.."never let go of our friendship"..sumthing like this la..its realli nice..but e line that capture mi e most was => " i always held back and struggled to say..but i realli wan u to noe that i hope that we will nv let go of our friendship"..=)

haha ok..shall end here..tml will be a long and tiring day..but no matter wad..as long as i m alive..it will be a great day ! take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.sumtimes i m still nt used to nt being able to share my day.][

][.tired.][

][.tired.][

hey bloggy..wanted to blog about sumthings..but my eyelids are closing..so i guess i will do that e next time ba..nitey..take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.1st day.][

][.Take each day, one at a time.][

][.Take each day, one at a time.][

blogged abt taking each day , one at a time..
but haf no idea why nth appeared on my blog..
so decided to blog abt it again..

hee..here u go..

One day at a time - this is enough

Do not look back
and grieve over the past,
for it is gone..

Do not be troubled
about the future
for it has yet to come..

Live in the present
and make it so beautiful
that it will be worthing
remembering..

yup..sumthing that i found v meaningful and jus wanna share..=D..hmm aw today (which is gg to end in 5mins) is kinda of a bad day..nt realli bad..but ya..jus not gd la..nth much went in e right way..but when i had my dinner n watched e news..indonesia's earthquake..malaysia's flood etc etc..wads my bad day compared to those ppl over there?..n suddenly i felt that i shuld nt moan about it..cz i m realli fortunate..so r u guys..so pls smile! =D

hmm..n yah..jus watched sum tv shows after news..its abt newborn babies..n hmm i feel so..how to say..haha sudden "calling" ??..i told mummy that i wanna be a er ke yi shen..docs for e kids..paediatrics?..haha dunno wads that call..but ya..i wanna be involved in a job that can involved me with little kids..cz they will nv fail to put a smile on my face..but mummy burst my bubble by reminding mi the fact that i dun take any science sub..i can't realli go into e medical fields..haha act i noe that la..so now i m tinking..wad course shuld i take ?..wad occupation can involved mi with babies n little kids?..haha mummy say kindergarden teacher..but haha that dun sounds too appealing to mi at e moment..i wanna be sumthing more..haha ok..shall go find out more abt it..

ok..nw i m smiling to myself at the thought of kids ! or shuld i specify => babies =D haha hao la..end here for today le..n its a brand new day le ! hope it will be a better 1 ! take gd care every1! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.innocent little angels.][

][.dun expect too much of me.][

][.dun expect too much of me.][

currently its 4:12pm on a sat afternoon..seldom at hm during this time during sat..or rather during this time..hafing e whole hse to myself for today..hmm current feeling => perplexed..if there is even this word..n if it realli meant wad i meant..not in e best of mood..so i m jus typing using my heart n not my head..

i noe i m nt a gd friend to any1..dunno why..but i always seem to make em sad..not only 1..feels sad abt it too..but maybe i m jus too tired le ba..too tired to say sorry jus as how tired u r to hear mi say sorry..tired..tired to do anything abt it..tired..i m realli v tired le..wadever will be will be..n hmm nw i finally understand how U wuld haf felt when things went wrong btw us..cz i m in ya shoes nw..its tiring..tiring both out..

ahhh..dunno wad m i ranting on also..maybe i shuld jus go n rest be4 i focus and complete my tons n tons of essays and homework ba..if i feel better after e rest la..haiz..

wo yi zhi dou zai ni sheng hou deng dai..
deng ni you yi tian neng gan jue dao wo..
dan huo xu..
you tian dang wo lei le..
wo zhi hui bu keng yi sheng de li kai..

][.FEarless.][
][.teach me e way of life.][

][.is there anything i can do for u?.][

][.is there anything i can do for u?.][

i m glad that everything is ok..
kinda relieved ba..glad that i din gave up in e end =)

hmm aw..with all e things gg on nw..
i m realli lost..
lost by wad shuld i do..
or shuld i even do anything..

many a times..
i saw u appearing online..
saw u in sch..
n i realli wanna ask..
is there anything i can do for u?..
but yet..i din ask..
i dunno how..
realli dunno how..

hao la..end here le..take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.jus tell me if there is anything i can do to help.][

][.Time-Out.][

][.Time-Out.][

i noe its my fault this time round..
i noe, knew, expected, that to happen..
but wad i din expect was my reaction..
maybe its tired-ness ba..

i waited..
u din cum..
n i left..
wasting no more time..

while waiting i thought of lots..
while bus-ing i thought of lots..
1st 1 realli does matters to mi..
but maybe not u..

its ok..i need a time-out..
maybe i m still nt used to being e 1 giving in..
i noe u r trying..
thanks..
take care..

met fungi today..n i miss em so..feeling nostalgic..end here le..take gd care every1 ! bye..

][.FEarless.][
][.teared in e rain.][

][. e road in front may be bumpy but i wun give up w/o a try.][

][.e road in front may be bumpy but i wun give up w/o a try.][

can't get to sleep..
a decision has been going on in my head since last nite..
n i guess i haf finally set up my mind..
jus bloggin it down to prevent myself from going bac on my words..
MB is lesser than MC therefore..
i need e courage to do it..
n i will..

thanks to a few special ppl that i haf turned for advice..mummy,daddy,wen,132,135..realli thanks a lot for supporting my choice n telling mi to go ahead with it..w/o u guys i dun tink i will haf e courage to do it..thanks for all ya advice n jus being dere..=]

ooo n yah..guess i woke up on e right side of bed ba..haha felt so great to be awake for all lessons..realli great..i noe it's nth..but it meant sumthing to mi..i dunno..wad i m doing nowadays r jus amazing mi..n e thought of myself with the decision also amazes mi..i dunno wad occured..maybe its jus time..

haha n happy thoughts and being "+" do help ba..cz i felt great for today..n a few happy things happened to mi too..haha being able to c 132 after so long ! thanks for e bolster ! n toking to wen..it was realli nice to tok after so long ! n exchanging a few msges with fungi n jing that day ! n toking to tooty =P..haha its realli nice..n chatting with mummy..haha wad can i say..these are jus e special ppl that do wonders to my life ba..thanks for jus being dere..=]

hao la..end here le..tml will b e day..take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.faith.][

][.ni..ni de wen rou gan dong le wo.][

][.ni..ni de wen rou gan dong le wo.][

haha kinda hooked to this mayday song..its wang ci..n yuppy..today's blog title is one of e line in that song =P..hee..hmm fa xian dao i haf been blogging lesser n lesser as e days go by..

haha act been wanting to blog for e past wk since sch "officially" started for mi..but everyday after i cum hm..i will be so tired that i jus zZz..haha ok..aw..16/1/07 den i will clearly noe my fate..w e return of econs results..haiz..

aw..thats nt e main pt la..haha so many little yet impt things had happened that i dunno how to start..so ya lo..nxt time mus try to blog whenever i feel like it..ooo aw..i wanna go watch hana kimi le..its so cute la..i mean e show..haha ahh..but still haf tons of hw to do..ooo *sianz*..

haha hao la..end here le..take gd care every1..bye..

][.FEarless.][
][.you duo jiu mei jian ni yi mian.][
][.yuan yuan kan zhe ni.][

][.2007.][

][.2007.][

wahahah !! this is my 1st post of 2007 wow bloggy..haha supposed to include all my new yr resolutions etc..but currently i m jus too tired to do so =P..will do it if i feel like it in e future ba..aw..haha new yr new blogskin..nt that i wan la..but i was adding sum pics to my previous screen n..everything gone crazy..so jiu change one lo =P..

aw..hmm 2007..haha started with much uncertainity..still waiting for e results..haiz..but so much has happened within this few days that make mi think a little here n dere..haha nth much..but yet sumthing that matters much..

to a special friend (the gift): thanks for jus being in my life..e little things that u do realli touched mi that nite when i opened e mail =)

haha ok..den hmm mass dance at suntec today..haha din wanted to go de..cz i dun realli like crowds n i can't dance for nuts..but haha still went in e end..n i din regret it..kinda of like it..haha it was fun..i love e train part..n yah..haha today i onli went to sch for a period of lessons..with the rest of e day..=> chatting at e tree hse..haha it was great..

ooo my eyes are reducing its width by secs..guess i shuld jus end here le ba..aw..haha..today is a happy day ba..haha take gd care every1 ! byee..

][.FEarless.][
][.if you could see me now.][